Mac-Toon

Basically what I said in the opening post funny you missed it. Couldnt be a bit of forum arse licking now could it? Well what part of his game is disappointing you? You mentioned him not sliding in like Barton. Interesting. I've played right back all my life and the first thing you're taught is the last thing to do is gan down on your arse. Why? He's the last line of defence and if he's short they're in on goal. Difference with Barton sliding on his arse being the passages of play are far different in midfield and the space lends itself better to slide tackles. Have you actually ever played football? Please answer this truthfully. A serious and quite important question because the sliding tackle isn't a huge asset to be honest. Far better on your feet to win the ball and make play happen. Forum arse licking? You're confused man you dipstick, it's because the vast majority disagree with you it comes across as arse licking. He may not be catching your eye as much now but when I watch his play without the ball in the ground and marshalling collo and willo about to hold the line and work as a back 4 you can see the work he does is imperative to the success or failure of the team. He's carried us alot at times last year.

'Has he developed' you ask with the undertone that you think he's going backwards. Fuck off. This is an absolute load of shite. Who has been in our top 3 performers over the past 2 seasons? he'd be in there. His link up play was class with Jonas, until he went off the boil and now doesn't seem interested. Put a decent left winger infront of him and watch him flourish. You'd never understand any of this though. Too busy chuggin' yourself off owa' the prospect of Ferguson and a brighter south tyneside. You're absolutely clueless. Don't buy a season ticket as I'm getting shifted and if I end up next to yee ad do myself in. You're a bored, middleaged tit who's reached breaking point if the truth be told.

Helensburgh that is. Do you not get the impression with them over in the west coast of Scotland that insulting people is part of the culture. It's almost like they're taught from a young age they're taught to end sentences with an insult. They don't want a fight or anything just how they are. "That's wit a wis tellin ye ya daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaft cunt " and "wit street ye lookin fir ya wee prick?" Totally mate. Asked the taxi driver if Rangers would be on TV or Newcastle and he said 'Dinni menshun them bastids in 'ere'. I think they're more cautious of OOTs as they question our reason for being there. The men are all either really really obese or unbelievably skinny and gaunt. They still have a love for the baseball cap up there too. I only saw 3 nice women. The rest were monsters of the deep.

Aye the otherside of the water from where I stayed was beautiful like. Mountain views which we don't have in toon but you can only stare at snowy hills for so long. I'm sure someone said it's called 'hellsbrough'. Maybe it was hillsbrough and I couldn't work out the accent. I've only been to Middlesbrough proper twice, once to Stockton but didn't really see the scenary and once to an industrial site road in the middle of nowhere as my mate down there wanted to show me all the hookers. Awful place but didn't really see much of it. Newcastle was pretty hanging when I was cockheight but it's immense now. I know nobody who dislikes it.

Stevie you're off your head walking about in football gear up there. We went through Paisley on the train, that's where Joyce got off. Haha. The weather must definitely have a negative affect on the mood up there. In fairness to them though, it's difficult to compare to Newcasle. I didn't like Paris and thought Newcastle had far more character than it. Makes you thankful to be born in this great city.

Where would you say is the grimmest, illest, shithole of a destination in the UK that you've been to? I ask for a reason as I'll discuss below, however I feel I've found it. Nee arguments. I've just arrived back in the best city in the country by a mile, after spending 3 days working in Greenock just outside of Glasgow. Arrived at Glasgow Central with my colleagues and headed for a few Tennants in the bar whilst waiting for connecting train, which I enjoyed enormously. With hunger setting in and heading outside the station for a tab I saw a Greggs. Mmm I thought and entered to be greeted by the ugliest skinniest cunt I've ever seen who said 'Wha' the fuck you waaantin'. I told him a Greggs and told him to fuck off and he said I'll be lucky to get out alive. Got my Greggs and went back into the station and headed to Greenock. Jumped on a train which stank of fish, I believe it was a geezer asleep in the corner of the carriage. I quickly gathered that this wasn't going to be a good trip. Arrived in Greenock, misty, pissin' doon rain, windy, high rise flats, no culture, nobody around. Walked to the hotel (Premier Inn which was the one shining light and the bar nextdoor called The Point. Nice food and a canny pint. Nee customers like, and the only ones who did come in were the le coq sportif massive who were impossible to understand or have any kind of logical conversation with. Last night, after graft we though 'get in, we'll hit the town and watch the match'. Got a taxi to their 'town' which was 2.20 and were told the 'best' place to go was the Bottle Bank Bar or something. I walked in and they had sky sports news on, about 15 people in a massive bar and ordered my pint. Asked if he could put Newcastle on and he said 'No fuckin English cunt games in here' or words similar. The shock has wiped his exact phrase from memory. I kicked off and got turfed out without having a fuckin sip of me beer. What a cunt. Went looking for another bar and they just didn't arrive. One other which had a kid in the doorway off his lips with a Celtic shirt on, dress trousers and trainers taalkin' shite and asked 'd'y waaant shanked maaan'. I nearly ripped his head off before being bundled away and we headed back to 'the point' to sit on our tod watchin nee teles in the bar. Got the train back to the station from Greenock today and met 'Joyce' who was 40ish, purple rain jacket, 4 stripe trackie bottoms and an ability to interact like nobody I've ever met. J - 'Uuu've got neyc eeyes yuw' Me - 'Cheers love, a like your hair' J - 'Am jus' aahf tae kfc tae ma work' Me - 'Oh aye, you the gaffer like?' J - Aaaye maan, this is ma ipod' Me - 'What d'ye listen to' J - whilst putting her headphones in 'muusic' and turned away. Haha The point, never go to Greenock unless absolutely necessary. It is without question the most desperate place I've ever been with some desperately cuntish residents.

I come on here and talk football, go on twitter talk football, go on facebook and only took to those interested in football then anyone I socialise with is generally aal about the footy. NUFC on the brain 24/7. Great innit!

Louis Suarez and Andy Carroll; It'll be Lou and Andy upfront 'Yeah a know'

Is it really cheaper than going to the shop to buy a 'Milkroll' or whatever though?

On a more positive note, she's out in the public domain now. I reckon she'd fancy her chances with you if you fancied a rendezvous. I couldn't possibly. You saw her first. What a gentleman. Maybe you double up and have 2 tits each. Anyhow, I've seen smaller [love] handles used to open a container lorry. Or 4 of us could suckle on her like little piglets. I'll take the upper east side if that's alreet with you's like. First come, first served. I'd guarantee that'd be me.

Dreamland them 3 compared to ours.

On a more positive note, she's out in the public domain now. I reckon she'd fancy her chances with you if you fancied a rendezvous. I couldn't possibly. You saw her first. What a gentleman. Maybe you double up and have 2 tits each. Anyhow, I've seen smaller [love] handles used to open a container lorry. Or 4 of us could suckle on her like little piglets. I'll take the upper east side if that's alreet with you's like.

Eh? The point is as anyone who goes out regularly will surely agree, that is fuck all to drink on a night out. You are pathetic, truly, are there not some calls in the queue you should be attending to? Don't tell him you don't care what he thinks of your tweets and then bite at the first one. It'll not let me follow yee heggahegga. Think it must be a forewarning that it's really not worth it, eh?

as apose to you; #neecraicandneeonelikesme

I heard that he will have ROLL 9 on the back of his shirt because you cunts have already nicked the CAR. Class

I'd have just given up. Painful even to watch, especially when he puts it on the ground to light it.

On a more positive note, she's out in the public domain now. I reckon she'd fancy her chances with you if you fancied a rendezvous.

Cunt Sickening reading that and it doesn't correspond with his texts to Steve Wraith at all. Fucking stinks. Cunt's had a shave n'aal.

Does anyone else find that the 'Follow' box takes ages to load on their phone?

There ye gan ya first twatter pal. You'll just see me popping up tellin Savage he's a no mark mug and occasionally abusing Rio and McNulty (he's a right chopper). Who's McNulty? What do you think of me profile pic? Phil McNulty, he's chief sports writer for bbc. Kna's nowt. Your pictures got a black line right through where I live next to Wallsend golf course.

There ye gan ya first twatter pal. You'll just see me popping up tellin Savage he's a no mark mug and occasionally abusing Rio and McNulty (he's a right chopper).

I've got nee followers, tbh. Zero fuckin Ziltch. I use it more to keep toot on the hacks and stuff. Tbh, I'm a local hero on facebook but not really hit the bigtime on twitter yet 2NarMe motherfuckaz, 2NarMe.

i've just added ye Stevie. I'm 2NarMe

I actually missed it last night. That blame lies firmly at the feet of NUFC, Carroll and LFC. Bastards. Hope the big guy, CT's mate's still there. Aye, he's still there. The ginga one went. Champion, don't think my life could've dealt with losing Carroll and the big guy in one night. Whaaaat, 4 udders left the building? Disgraceful. She was a powerhouse, a workhorse and surely better than Kenan and Kel the twins. (I appreciate you might'nt know who K & K are) She lost the most weight last night. There was hell on because quite a few of them lost nowt. Doing the exercises but lots of scoffing. Lots of scoffing? How? Don't they have set meals? I can honestly see either Mark the Big Lad or the young kid winning it. How did they get on with going to Twickenham? Anyway yee, what's gan on with your diet and WW? Did you turn up last night or too traumatised from the events to attend? Another week to reach a higher weight for achieving star of the week once intigrated into the WW regime haha. Meeting was due to start at 6pm and I was too far into the cans and depression by that point. Out for a slap up tonight to re-discover my optimism, then out for the match tomorrow night. Like the last fag before quitting, the last few days before dieting are orgasmic. Obviously it would also be self defeating to continue with the treadmill while the snout is in the trough. Happy Days.....and coming soon to Biggest Loser 9 You're a legend

Wheres the twitter thread with everyones IDs in? Can't locate it. Stevies are funny as fuck calling Savage.