GeordieMessiah

She's got a face that could make a turd turn white. And her voice is just She had to stop calling herself Dr. Gillian McKeith apparently on telly shows as it was judged to be misleading - i.e. she's got a doctorate but she isn't a doctor of medicine. And I think her Ph. D was one of those US distance learning thingies anyway. And she's a fucking hound. I wonder if her shit turns white?

Did I write "olive oil"? No that's wrong! Not for roast tatties - fine for spanish roast tatties, not for the humble British Roast.

She's got a face that could make a turd turn white. And her voice is just

I presume it's something to do with diet as well...perhaps the the lack of canine fecal calcification on our streets and municipal parkland is down to Gillian McKeith.

I blame the parents. Someone else can do the blame the government bit...

"The secret to good roast potatoes is par boiling them until the outsides are just about going soft, then drain all the water from the pan, lid back on and give the tatties a good shake inside the pan then pour them into the roasting tray, dowse in olive oil and whack in the oven." Works every time.

I'd rather watch dog shit slowly turning white than watch "Neighbours"

Loving that Scooch song... "...and blow into the mouth piece". Genius! That'll definitely win the Eurovision. Those strange Eurolanders love sly fellatio references in their songs. Did Stephen Hawking do the choreography?

Michale Grade will have that snapped up in seconds (edit: for ITV1), perfect thing to fill that void in the schedule between the kids programme and the news, so not really the worst news ever. What's so funny about "Broadcast" magazine, SSH?

I wonder if mine would appreciate it more if I did it all with a few simple smileys? "Dear Mam - + + = , "

Surely yours would be more along the lines of: "Dear Mam I only done it, so they'd take the jump leads off me testicles"

1. Really not very happy with life at the moment 2. ... Yeah, actually that basically sums the whole situation up.

Can't be Invicta Toon. He's dead.

Loving that sig, Chris.

Nah. Not even worth a packet of pork scratchings, that one. Puff! Aye, well. Fair comment.

Nah. Not even worth a packet of pork scratchings, that one.

Seriously? You people fancy THAT?! Got a face that looks like she just smelt her dog fart. I doubt I could last 5 minutes without wanting to slap her about the chops with a wet fish.

Yup facts and intelligent comments aren't welcome around these parts, I've gathered that. Ahh, so that's why you've avoided using them See again this is what I'm told splits sides around these parts. (It does go down well though, I agree) While not quite up there with some of the florid descriptions of a good shit, it did raise a titter. Aye I see where I'm going wrong, poo jokes and random insults FTW I guess. Fop Are you HTT in disguise?

She's got some warped idea that if we don't have it for ages it'll be even more amazing than normal. Was tearing my hair out the other day and went to take whats rightfully mine but turns out she had the decorators in so I'm still in limbo! Balls like water melons. Having the decorators in is a pretty lame excuse, tbh. You should just kick her back doors in, man!

I think it was the great Oscar Wilde who once remarked that it was "better to be being talked about than not". J69 and others would do well to remember this wee gem.

Aye, and not even good AIDS. That bottle looks like the bad AIDS.

So you've finally conceded you're a midget then. Bejeezus! Gemmill wants Scottish Mag's midget cock?!

Best when dipped in runny fried egg. Oh - that is lush!

Doesn't bear think about. May have to resort to poisoning.

Fishcake sarnie for breakfast is nearly as bad as a haggis roll. But not quite.