GeordieMessiah

You're always asking me to do that for you though. Yet you always disappoint. That's because if I ever wore spandex I'd end up looking like this:

Angela Rippon Jan Leeming Morph

You're always asking me to do that for you though.

Ving Rhames would be a better Mr T Jim Carey would be a better Howlin' Mad Murdock George Clooney should have been Hannibal T Smith Tom Cruise as the Face Man Tommy Lee Jones as Col.Decker

I did no such thing.

The true beauty of that is the fact that the catchphrase is completely irrelevant to the circumstances. This sort of thing should be mandatory whenever you see a celebrity in stress following an accident. See Bruce Forsyth staggering from the wreckage of his car? Don't offer any assistance, simply shout "Nice to see you, to see you....NICE!" And in a similar vein, if you should ever see the Krankies mangled up in a horror car collision, don't phone for assistance, simply shout "FANDABBYDOZY!!!"

I've phoned Gloucester Police. I said: "Ben off the internet might have killed himself, like". They asked did I know the lad's IP address? I said no. They asked did I know the lad's home address? I said no. They asked did I know it was a criminal offence to waste police time, sonny? I quickly hung up. If I get put away for this, I'll be quite peeved, actually. So much for a caring, sharing society. Fuckers.

Of course what you should have said is that you'd keep it a secret, but in light of the new evidence of her being a filthy slag, only so long as you were getting a large portion too.

fair enough, but what if they asked your opinion and you could no longer hide behind the nmp defense? That would be a whole different kettle of fish in that case, Fishy Fishmeister... The fact that she had asked your opinion means she already knows she's doing something she's not altogether comfortable with...in which case, I'd lay it on thick and tell her she's a dirty slag with the sexual morals of an alleycat and that I hope she realises that her boyfriend will be devastated when he finds out that she's been fellating complete strangers in the pub car park...and for good measure, I'd tell her I hope she dies of a freak strain of syphilis.

Word to the wise, Fishy - never buy a woman carnations unless you want to end a relationship/she's your grandmother.

If I was the cheater then I wouldn't want to hear anyone else's "advice" and would probably give them a slap for sticking their neb in where it's no wanted. If my mate's doing the cheating, I'll say nothing. It's their life, and they can live it their way.

or alternatively, use Rohypnol. Works for The Fish.

Nothing apart from.... "I was just working out what my suicide note would be" well I am a bit worried even if you evil fuckers are not !!! He was last online on Friday so he's probably just been away for the weekend cheers ..I checked that out and thought the samwe...fingers crossed If he's not back on here by tomorrow night then someone should phone Gloucester police, tbh. I'm notsure whether you are joking bit yes I think we should.. I'm sort of half-joking and half serious...we'll just have to wait and see. Mind, he does live in the same town as where Fred and Rose West lived so anything could have happened...

Sunshine Really enjoyed it. Full of semi-religious metaphor, fantastic SFX, great soundtrack, Danny Boyle at his zenith.

Nothing apart from.... "I was just working out what my suicide note would be" well I am a bit worried even if you evil fuckers are not !!! He was last online on Friday so he's probably just been away for the weekend cheers ..I checked that out and thought the samwe...fingers crossed If he's not back on here by tomorrow night then someone should phone Gloucester police, tbh.

Saw her in the Cluney a while back, shes now a fat shaven heeded lezza. Not changed a bit tbh don't pretend you were being all highbrow and drinling in there ///probs followed her in tbh With a long-distance paparazzi lens, no doubt...

Sadly that blinked Manc prick is now a presenter on Talksport along side Mick Quinn. Still don't SEE him though

Katie Pucrik Hufty Terry Christian

You murdering bastards. EDIT: Just checked his website. Oh dear. If that's not a suicide note, I don't know what is. Cryptic, but definitely morbid. http://www.bensmusic.co.uk/

We shouldn't laugh really...

I thought about making this thread earlier but couldn't ultimately be arsed. But the reason I'm replying to this one is that if I'd gone ahead and made this thread earlier I know I'd have put the thread title in capitals just like you did. Spooky or what?

Same thing happened to Man City a few years back, don't forget - and they're back in the Premiership now again (just!). And then there's Sheffield Wednesday to consider as well, who may just make it back to the Premiership if Lady Luck runs in their favour and they get in via the play-offs... I do feel sorry for Leeds though - they're can't be a single Leeds fan right now who doesn't wish a painful death upon Peter Ridsdale.

I reckon Sven. Seriously. I reckon Sven will have it.

Gretna coming up and Dunfermline going down...so with St Mirren safe that means the SPL maintains its "two team that play in black and white" equilibrium. [/geektastic]