Happy Face

5 minutes? You should have got up and given it a slap. Or at least exposed yourself to it. 115401[/snapback] Just long enough for a quick wank since i was awake anyway.

Me fatha's always whinging about stuff in his place. He was sat watching telly and a key fell off the window down the middle of the radiator and he shit his pants. He also once came in from night shift, had a dump (which required him to walk through the kitchen), then went to bed. When he got up, the fridge/freezer was unplugged, the doors were open and everything had defrosted all over the floor.

Like I say, 5 minutes. I don't believe in any of that shit so I presumed it was a trick of the light. Doesn't really worry me if it was out weird though, it wasn't making noise.

Woke up one night, looked to the bottom of my bed and it looked like an incandescent figure was stood there. I thought "Nar, it's a trick of the light man" and rubbed my eyes to take another look. It was still there. I spent 5 minutes trying to work out what it could be and where it could come from but couldn't. Just went back to kip in the end.

Nee pubes Nee tits 17? Right!

Richard Hawley - Just Like the Rain I had it on repeat all the way home last night and all the way back in today, the rest of the album is canny, but this song is too good. Annoying that Blunt is raking it in when Hawley, Johnson and Banhart are infinitely superior.

There's very little I don't like. Hence my name. 114751[/snapback] Exactly, no quality control 114753[/snapback] I'm like the bizarro Alex, the anti-Alex, Alex to the power minus 1. I take joy in anything and everything. 114760[/snapback] Loving the avatar Happy Face 115189[/snapback] Thanks for the screengrab.

'hide £50 in Durham' Well this is obviously a professional gal who knows that all John's respect and trust their hooers. She'd never take that money and spend it on crack. This is getting silly.

1 bald man 1 tub of vaseline 1 butchers bin I've seen that video too no?

There's very little I don't like. Hence my name. 114751[/snapback] Exactly, no quality control 114753[/snapback] I'm like the bizarro Alex, the anti-Alex, Alex to the power minus 1. I take joy in anything and everything. 114760[/snapback] Exactly, no quality control. 114763[/snapback]

There's very little I don't like. Hence my name. 114751[/snapback] Exactly, no quality control 114753[/snapback] I'm like the bizarro Alex, the anti-Alex, Alex to the power minus 1. I take joy in anything and everything.

There's very little I don't like. Hence my name.

I loved it and thought the two leads were amazing. Recommended 113226[/snapback] No and no. I thought it was garbage. Totally unbelievable. Family find out Dad has violent past and think... maybe I could be violent too and start shooting people and engaging in violent sex. Absolute tosh. 114698[/snapback] Totally agreed the film was asbolute gash 114701[/snapback] They don't just find out their dad has a violent past, they find out he still is a violent man. He hasn't changed. This turns his wife on and she hates herself for it, she enjoys the rough sex and tries to deny it by remaining angry with him and pretending to blame him. Women love a tough guy. It's all about survival of the fittest, the strongest will flourish and always have, we can all pretend to be goody goody, anti-war, give peace a chance lefties, but if something threatens us or our family, we need to kick an arse or two. If Joey had been the lads father all along, then the son would have been a hard case at school all along, but Tom made the conscious decision that Joey was dead. Tom supressed Joey, and his son supressed his strength in the same way. Only when Joey was forced to act and the son witnessed it all did he start to consider what he might be capable of. He became his fathers son. Inherited the characteristics that benefit him. Nature versus nurture. It's a class film.

A nightmare scenario. Like the end of ghostbusters you have to get the streams together, but if you've been waiting a while the ability to reallign is severely impeded by the need to get it out. I had people back and someone shit in my bath. I think it was a dirty protest but don't know who to blame

Got to the photos and none of them work Class like.

Not for Gemmil. He faces one way and pisses the other Ronaldinho style. Always in control.

I pissed in an old girlfriends laundry basket. We split up not much later My brother pissed on my stereo Insurance paid out still

Can't see it happening without a stott on like, and surely you can anticipate that.

No, but you can make adjustments, I never have a problem with it, although I do sit half the time anyway... I do however have a problem with "splash-back" from urinals, so I won't use them. 114307[/snapback] Please tell me you only do your sitting when you need a shit. I don't have a problem with this. I don't piss on the floor and I don't piss on the seat. If for some reason I do piss on the seat (never the floor ), I wipe the fucker off with bog roll and flush it down the bog, so no one's any the wiser. 114311[/snapback] You can't tell me you've never been totally shit-faced and completeley missed with the first squirt. When I'm pissed I take a little nap and hope for the best targetwise. I would never consciously piss on the seat and leave it though. That's just vile.

I've laughed more at this than 'Bizarre'. 'Foreskin pointing the wrong way' When you're as tall as me the target is a lot smaller. Wacky can just rest his over the ledge, with the aid of a stool.

Pete Doherty! Does that remind anyone else of the shining? Room 217?

I can't help but piss myself laughing thinking of the people on some other forum (perhaps mackem) pissing themselves laughing at their ruse and working late waiting for a 'cock shot'. Smooth Operator - the next coconut man?

The Daily Star will be printing all the perviest responses received.

Will she relieve a dwarf?

I would have thought Gary Neville could afford to go to more classy establishments.