BigWalrus

Haha that's brilliant. Are you suggesting that wearing a scarf makes someone gay?

Definitely. "For All the Cows"

With such a high risk activity as goat fellatio, if you want the favour returned, I'd recommend a standing up 69 position. You might need to arch your back a bit, but you'd be able to hold the goat by the back legs and dictate the play.

Not at all about my erection - it's the goat. Despite me having no evidence at all, it's my opinion that a goat would go floppy by the first chorus of Knowing Me, Knowing You. To be caught performing fellatio on a limp-dicked goat is possibly the ultimate embarrassment. At least if he had a stonking big stiffy, passers-by would at least acknowledge the impressive bloodflow obtained. Basically, I think we'd be better off with George Michael's cover of Roxanne - goats love that.

I'm a big fan of the Foo Fighters, but Nirvana territorially piss all over them. And fellating a goat with Abba playing is a bad idea. How can anyone keep an erection while you can hear Abba playing? It's equivalent to trying to knock one out whilst having a staring out competition with Harry Redknapp.

Brilliant. Also brilliant.

Thinking these events lack skill simply shows how little understanding you have of them.

I used to have an edge card (I think that's what it was called). Cost me £2.50 and entitled me to a free pint in every 24 hour period at Aspers. Must have used it about 40 times before they pulled the offer, but it was a good investment.

Some canny deals. The free pint every day at Aspers looks the best one - potentially giving you 365 free pints if you're hardcore enough

Aye, but clearly, a canny bit of light is getting through, otherwise we'd be in complete darkness!

I must say though, I love the "the signal would bounce straight off the atmosphere" argument. How does that explain the fact we can see the moon and the stars? Wouldn't the light waves also" bounce off the atmosphere"? Wouldn't the light of the sun also "bounce off the atmosphere"?

Just come across this thread. Some of the discussion reminds me of a friend of mine, who, even when disproven by facts, refuses to back down from his views. It's an irritating read.

Jonas is a bloody quality player. Give him the ball and he'll either keep hold of it, pass it to a B&W shirt or win a free kick. He is rarely wasteful with the ball. I don't buy the "no end product" argument. Football has moved on from having out and out wingers who whip balls into the box for a burly, bustling striker. It's about ball retention, possession football and a team player. Love him to bits.

Completely Underwhelming Nump... ty

I'd be surprised if Kenny Dalglish got another manager position. The problem is, if he wants to be employed, it has to be at a club, as they'd need translators to work alongside him if he became a pundit. A couple of Scottish lads I work with admit that even they can't understand a word he says.

Martins was quick, but he's not exactly the most intelligent player. Next to impossible to play off, which is why we ended up needing both Viduka and Owen to get anything out of him. Shola always looked canny alongside Bellamy, but we usually ended up playing Shearer and Bellamy.

Shola is no diferent to the player he was in the past. The difference is he is now surrounded by mobile, pacy players. Phase one was being understudy to Shearer. Both players were limited, pace wise, but Shearer obviously took priority. Once Shearer retired, we didn't really have any pace up front at all. Now we have a much more mobile team, Shola can play the battering ram role more successfully.

Assuming we have a full, fit squad at the start of the season, and we sign a couple of new players and ditch Guthrie and Simpson, we have plenty of players to call on. At the back, we have Coloccini, S Taylor, Williamson, "NEW CB", Santon, Perch, "NEW FB", Ferguson, R Taylor, Tavernier In midfield we have Tiote, Cabaye, Ben Arfa, Gutierrez, Abeid, Obertan, Gosling, Sammy, Marveaux, Vuckic Up front we've got Cisse, Ba, Shola, Best (unless he goes) We could probably do with another striker, especially if Best leaves, but we're not too far off having a squad that can cope. The test will come later in the season, if we're still involved, as we'll undoubtedly have injuries, suspensions and fatigue problems.

Positive. Being decent to watch has helped this figure rise, as we've been a more popular choice for live coverage. I think it's something like £570k per live game, which is a canny wedge. As for the wage bill, who knows? There are probably going to be some quite substantial bonuses from finishing 5th, which will push the wage bill up. I think we can say that, other than with Xisco and Alan Smith, we've obtained a return from the bulk of the wage spend.

I'm not trawling about for "evidence". I'm not going to lose any sleep over someone thinking I'm making it up.

Everton spend their money on WAGES. They have a huge wagebill, when you consider their players. In all honesty though, it's a reasonably sensible tactic, as spending a shit load on a transfer fee doesn't get you off the hook with the wages, so chucking an extra million on a player salary can be more economical. Fellaini being one of their examples. Arguably their most important player, he's earning a shed load that other clubs (other than Man City / Chelsea) could realistically offer, and he's only about 23.

Haha. nice. Believe!

The numbers are relevant! They might not be a true indicator of English supporter numbers, but they are a good judge of who the popular clubs are around the world. It says to me that, globally, Man Utd are ridiculously far ahead of anyone else in the UK.

Close decisions are fine, and I think the nature of football means there'll always be those moments where people disagree. However, for something as clear cut as a ball being over the line or not, I don't see a good reason for goal-line technology not being used. Sepp Blatter has used the excuse of "we couldn't introduce it at grass roots level, so we can't have it at the top level". Frankly, that's bollocks. Most of the football I played as a kid didn't have referees, didn't have linesmen, didn't have fourth officials, didn't have corner flags, didn't have goal lines. It quite often didn't have two goals. As you work up the leagues, the technology and facilities improve dramatically. There isn't a reason for the technology not to be used at every ground in the top division, and then go from there. But as I said, only for the decisions where it doesn't involve judgement. Goal line incidents, handballs on the line, free-kick or penalty etc - they are all easily decided upon.

My, isn't he a really likeable bloke?