Renton

Tommy Brock is a badger antagonist from Peter Rabbit. Mr Todd is the fox (Scottish for fox). Suddenly the world makes sense and I can rest in peace. Oh will you just fuck off Mr Gadaffi? Spoils everything for me this cunt.

"My God, this simian DNA, it crops up everywhere in people aged 38 years and downwards. Huge concentrations in Newcastle, particularly areas of acute socio-economic deprivation, with a focal point on Longbenton, although we have also detected traces of it on the curtains of posh houses in Gosforth and Forest Hall. An outbreak of it in Sunderland. Isolated pockets of it in the Lake District, upland Scotland, and North Wales. We have detected it Annecy and Charmonix in France, and across at Zermat and the Dolomite regions. The male recipients seem to go bald at the age of 22. What on Earth is going on?"

Yeah, sorry for the mini-rant, fair enough. I know you're into your history, its a decent interest to have. As long as you don't start doing back room eugeneics experiments. And, looking at CT's 80s bonce, we have to face the horryifying prospect he's got celtic genes.

Oh, and I'm also sceptical of the science where there is obvious kerching involved.

It's never been something that's ever remotely interested me, including this family tree stuff. I believe you're more of a product of your environment than your genetics. And you can control the former to an extent, or at least change its course, you can't change your genetics. You can't take pride in your genetic history. I also think its a wedge to make us appear different, when 99.9% of our DNA, and nearer 100% of the important functional stuff, is the same amongst all human beings. Who is more Scottish, me, you, Paddock lad, or Hamza Yousaf? My mum, is 100% scottish/irish and 100% racist. She says Hamza Yousaf should never wear a kilt. She'd use genetic arguments to back up her viewpoint. Obviously I'm not accusing that of anyone on here, but its why I question the need for this exercise.

Sounds like complete bullshit to me. What does it even mean, DNA doesn't recognise national borders. What possible use is this knowledge?

Congratulations! No wonder the young CT looked like the cat who got the cream. I'm guessing Mrs CT must really love sofas.

They could have at least panned out and had Mad Dog reading Keegan's autobiography, but that would be stretching credibility a bit (Tindall reading). The reason it's odd Keegan doesn't have a statue is cos Shearer does. Robson's is post humous as is Milburn's. Not usual to have a statue of a living person.

Ahhh, the good old days that man. This was taken last week. "So a says to that kraut Isegrim, a says 'this is how a see ye'" "What?" "A said a says.... ahhh fuck it .... what was I talkin about again? Anyway your round Rob".

Tbf what he's been through would trigger PTSD in nearly all of us. It will definitely affect him going forward and not in a good way. Now he's been put back in his box literally you're right it betrays his anxiety and vulnerability.

Even some of the cold war steve montages are becoming indistinguishable from life in some of these Reform shit holes. Clacton today.

Crust me on this, don't baguette, Gemmill is not a fan of all this bunnery, you'll not get a rise from him*. * There you gaan. The highest pun to word count ratio on this bread. That's enough loafing for today.

Like they say, parody is well and truly dead in this country. Thank goodnesss the theatre was a "snowflake free safe space for decent hardworking people to go and have a laugh". All it needs is for them to bump into CT on the beach metal detecting. Thanks Lee, honestly, this tweet has genuinely given me a laugh. Although when I realise I am only 3 years younger than you the joke isn't so funny any more.

Watching the mackems here, I do not know how they dare to call us lucky. Despite being 3 nil up on the half hour mark, you could literally hear a pin drop.Woeful stuff. Picked up on now by the commentators.

New season so needs a new thread surely?

There's a canny funny thread on the SMB about their flag display at the moment. Apparently they can't do one for the opening day because the organisers were too busy watching the Euros and Olympics. This has triggered the usual infighting, before the resident brain donor Keith, representative of the SMB, admits he'd rather stay in the pub anyway than actually help create a atmosphere to help their team. Anyhow, that would be mag like behaviour anyway I guess.

I liked the Toy Dolls, when I was 12. That John Kettley is a weatherman novelty song, the same. Lauren Laverne is welcome to share my bed and I'd let George Clarke give me architectural advice. Oh and I recognise Wearside Jack as perpetrating the sickest hoax in history. Well done my fans of massive lads. Mind, Sunderland does roll out the red carpet to Tommy Robinson and loves a bit of hate riots. Have I missed anything out?

Our recruitment is a shambles like. We should employ their old mucker, Stewart Donald to help us out, drive a hard bargain, like he did for Griggs. Probably get Guehi at a snip for £210 million.

A bit of obsession here about our transfers. This is another thing they do. Find a solitary tweet to reflect their prejudices, and pretend it represents the whole football community, when 99.999% of fans could not give a single fuck. In this case, steve_whufc7 is the man on the omnibus.

You're correct in the main, I've got mates from Sunderland who have been amazing friends and similarly acquaintances who have been utter, utter bell ends. There are some differences though imo. Geordies tend to be excessively proud, boistrous, loud, optimistic people. Certainly when it comes to football. In the main we are only focussed on our team. Mackems tend to be miserablist pessimists, for good reason maybe. But many are undoubtedly obsessed with Newcastle more than their own team as a result and, imo completely unlike us, have a massive chip on their shoulders about it. Not just the club, the city, the people, our reputation, the industry, local governance, guitarists from Blyth and North Shields, literally everything. We do not go on like that. Their motto is about us - FTM. They use it everywhere. Our "motto" about them actually just relects their obsession. You also don't see it much. SMB. Other than that, as alluded to earlier, Newcastle is medieval destination tourist city. It's the endless subject of travelogues. Sunderland isn't and never will be. But many of them can't accept that.

They look great. Pretty much cut out all my carbs at the moment though. Can you make me some breadless bread?

Labour should ban politicians having second jobs in the media, especially the news media. I mean it should happen anyway, but to get rid of this cunt is a bonus. He'll also have to admit he has dumped his loyal subjects in Clacton because of the money.

The cunt charges £500 to get dressed up. Ask ewerk.