Renton

The cunt charges £500 to get dressed up. Ask ewerk.

Not as funny as this by Keith. SIde splitting stuff.

You're on to something. Why not market Sunderland as..... drum roll ....... South Newcastle?

North Gosforth is now high Jesmond I believe.

Well, its in this building by the river. Probably near half a million in the Newcastle equivalent? I'd be tempted to buy it as an investment but then I remember its in Sunderland.

Yeah, that's the usual response. Apparently yes, yes, Newcastle city centre is better than Sunderland but their suburbs are much nicer. Apart from Newcastle city centre, all you have is the likes of Scotswood, Fenham, Cowgate, and Byker. Whereas they have, erm, Ashbrook and Seaburn. Firstly, those two Sunderland suburbs are no great shakes, I have been there. Secondly, I actually don't think Byker and many areas of the West End are that bad (don't really know it that well tbh). Thirdly, they seem to have forgotten about Jesmond, West Jesmond, Gosforth, Spital Tongues, Heaton/Sandyford (up and coming), and Benton etc, not to mention areas of North Tyneside like Tynemouth, Whitley Bay, Monkseaton, even places like Preston or the fish quay. Also nice areas of Gateshead and South Tyneside. The proof is in the pudding ultimately, with house prices being substantially more in Tyneside than Wearside. If these places in Sunderland are really so nice, why are they so cheap? Incidentally you can buy a penthouse flat in Sunderland city centre for £70k and a normal 2 bed one for less than half that!

Sure Newcastle became a "top 5" city in later medieval times. Working in the centre twice a week and trying to stay fit I do go for some quite long wanders though the city. The beautiful hidden architecture is everywhere. Far better than most large industrial cities like Leeds, Sheffield, Glasgow, Manchester and Liverpool, just by virtue we are older. We're more a poor man's Edinburgh. Sunderland in comparison is just an industrial town, peaking late 19th early 20th century, with almost no notable architecture at all. This isn't having a go, it 's just a statement of fact. If you look at any of their videos about how great e.g. Keel square is, it's like, erm...., naah, hardly a destination location. Why they feel the need to compete with Newcastle (outside of football), with stupid incorrect statements like "Sunderland is the largest English city North of Leeds", is an odd one. I don't see Bolton competing with Manchester or St Helens with Liverpool. Instead of competing and failing, it would be better for them and the whole region if they worked to complement the rest of Tyneside and Wearside. Reading the SMB it will never happen though. They are ridiculously insular.

Got to feel sorry for this kid. Not only was he unlucky enough to be born a mackem with ginger hair, he's being made to work down the pit in his jim jams.

Might be a character from an 80s soft focus porn film?

Scottish jakey beer is probably considered exotic there, like Peroni Nastro Azzuro was here until for some inexplicable reason fake Italian beer appeared eveywhere. Just wait until you sit down for dinner.

You're in luck.

I think there's a lot of benefits IF they work. You can do your grumpy Dad thing of saying "Don't overfill the kettle, do you know how much electricity you're wasting you little shits" Etc. And no need to take meter readings, pay for what you actually use. But if it doesn't work prepare for a trip to Ballache Central. Doesn't work at all on the Coast apparently, they could have told me that in advance.

She's probably laughing with you on mute given the wanker sign in front of her colleagues.

Aye. Alright it's only the scabs but another premier league club away game in the cup, just fuck off.

Did you use the training fields of avoiding chuggers on Northumberland street to achieve this level of perfection?

Thisis pretty much you all the time tbh. Don't worry, I'm the same. 👍

Think I've discussed this before, but after 3 years, 14 engineer call outs, 6 meter replacements, 3 providers, 2 involvements with the omsbudsman, and several hundred quid compo, neither do mine. In fact not only do they not communicate with the provider, they now don't even communicate with my hub which they did (for electricity only) at the start. My smart meters are thick as pigshit.

This is how normal people feel. I see SAFC shirts around here, and also sometimes in Newcastle city centre. Also ManU, Arsenal, Celtic, Rangers, literally any club or nation top. Nobody gives a fuck. The mackems are so far down their rabbit hole they can't see who the weird ones are here, like the Trump MAGAs. Tbf some MLFs point this out on occassion, but are soon shouted down as being undercover mags.

They also had a photo outside of our club shop where the "que" was only 3 people deep for the new kit. The response was "Ha ha, stupid mag kernts, can't afford to buy their own shirts". Now I've no idea about the context of the photo, probably shot at 5am or something, and I don't care. But they can hardly have it both ways. Schroedinger's shirt. It is a weird obsession with them now like. Wonder what the next one will be, let's hope its in response to us actually winning a trophy, that wil absolutely break them.

Mackems knocked out the league cup a round before we enter it. Again.

Oddly enough, the mackems are upset that they're the only ones who are upset.

Yeah, I think surgeons were upgraded to be doctors but knocked it back staying misters. Sure some dentists are doctors now too, the orthodontic bastards. Having a PhD was rarer in the past so your Da was probably excessively proud of his achievement, especially if he was from a working class background. My Dad was always trying to get me to use my title for inappropriate purposes just cos he was proud of it. Not something I felt myself. Sorry to hear of your Da's drinking problem though, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree no?

Never got this. I fucking love going to the cinema by myself. It's the one social activity you don't need a companion. Just concentrate on the film. Drinking, eating, going to the match on your tod however, is different. Pity me then.

Like this but why is the train a class 141 pacer? They could at least have stretched to a class 150 sprinter? Ahem.

Keith "SMB" fuckwit. Thick as pigshit since January 1962. Established human rights campaigner circa November 2021.