Alex

Door man

All camels seem to be a bit grumpy, yes.

The coffee, not the civet I mean

Stephen Fry bought some for Prince Charles iirc

Played for (already relegated) Brighton in the cup final (where they should’ve beat Man Utd before getting stuffed 4-0 in the replay). RIP

Instead of a minute’s silence how about a public apology for not having enough PPE?

Bet Titus still drops the odd clanger

I don’t even really know what you’re talking about but it’s still funny

RIP. Your name for him is borderline racist, mind

Much like the last 13 years in the same way his mate somehow got the manager’s job here.

Makin shagged his wife

Aye. I’d already given up my season ticket but I think I might’ve only gone to two home games that season. 0-3 v the mackems and 0-6 v Liverpool

Me and my lass were saying how good this would be if we didn’t have kids I’m quite enjoying it anyway tbh. I’m working like but you can’t have everything I suppose

I’ll tell you what though, this is where being a proper unsociable bastard comes into its own

Absolutely, I would love to go to the lakes but it’s a cunt’s trick. Of course this is where some of the other cuts - like policing - are coming home to roost

Tbh I’m cynical as fuck but I think the government are just clueless

I think so, aye.

Mind the guidelines are fucking ridiculous. Almost inviting the selfish cunts to take the piss. Like, as on BBC news just now where apparently the amount of time you drive shouldn’t exceed the amount of time you exercise. So theoretically I could drive to the lakes and go for a four hour walk. I wouldn’t but you know people will be and will be citing the guidance.

I’d rather poke mesel in the eye with a shitty stick than go to B&Q at the best of times but you can picture people queuing for hours to get in and buy a couple of tins of Cuprinol

I get why hardware stores should remain open but most of the stuff in these huge warehouse places is non-essential stuff like garden furniture

Seems like longer ago than that

Paging @ChezGiven

It’s really surprising though. They simply shouldn’t be allowed to open

He was a miner before he was a soldier?

His strategy will be to lie about how well he’s done and hope enough people will believe it