catmag

I am dying for a footlong club Aren't we all, petal, aren't we all....

I'm not - I'm reading your thread

Aaaaaand snakehips disappears to use his imagination....

Absolutely brilliant, thank you, on both counts. And I'd never beat you up, Mr Hips!

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. Okay then, fuckhead, how much beer in this fuckin 'shot' glass??? Do I fill it up?? Do I put the equivalent of a 'shot' {fuckin' Americanism anyway. btw, I've nowt against any American, just some fuckers over here tend to latch on to Americanisms far too easily for my liking eg 'already' and 'shot' - go on, some fucker tell me 'shot' comes from UK} in it??? Half full??? Quater full???? HOw much?? Come on, fuckin tell me??? "Outside! Now!! "

I don't even think he's of the persuasion to be able to enjoy it!

Awww, thank you so much everyone Now repeat after me: "Afternoon drinking is bad. Very, very bad......"

For those of you who made age jibes - you're all bastards. 32 is a great age Thank you very muchly indeed peeps. I'm looking forward to what will hopefully be a very nice day Mark - no Tree for me tonight. Going to see Mika then hitting the town.. GM - Thank you for the headscarf, but my hair is now fixed!

Breaking news, so not many details but it's on the news now. Most carriages on their side and approx 180 people on board.

My Tiscali has been working perfectly. Don't recall there being any problems in the last few days

Enjoy the rest of work, chaps! I'm off to get blonded* *not a euphemism

Always thought there was something sinister about the beard...

3.45 for me I nearly added that, but I'd have to do far too many other timezones for everyone....

It's still only 2.43 boys...

I'm a boring bastard... You said it See you soon though hopefully.

Trent, 1pm. Be there or get called a boring bastard.

Class You can textifise all jokes over 4 lines long from now on.

You gonna let her off your knee like?

I very nearly died

Having met Mr Hips, I have the funniest mental images of him dancing round his house...

No, but 3 other people did

Says Patrick Swayze. You've got an unfair advantage tbf. The afro suggests to me that you possess rhythm. I just have to hear the first chords of 'Time of my life' and its like Come Dancing. Literally in the case of Snakies pants Eww man!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKE6h1CPARQ

Yes, and I think you may have succeeded. So far I've been a Dame, had a prisoner number and am now The President of the Lenny Henry Fan Club. "Not quite a rags to riches story going on here" thinks Postie. I'm surprised the postman can read his writing tbh. It's like a spider got very drunk, fell into an ink well and staggered across the paper before dying in a heap. Surprised he hasnt cut words out of newspapers tbh. You do realise you're feeding his already overactive imagination now.

Yes, and I think you may have succeeded. So far I've been a Dame, had a prisoner number and am now The President of the Lenny Henry Fan Club. "Not quite a rags to riches story going on here" thinks Postie. I'm surprised the postman can read his writing tbh. It's like a spider got very drunk, fell into an ink well and staggered across the paper before dying in a heap.