manc-mag

Proof that beggers CAN be choosers tbh 115992[/snapback] In your face tbh!

Jesus Wept! What the fuck must the rejected designs have looked like? If Bellamy was still here, he'd have designed us a better one tbh.

Kiera Knightley doesnt actually own a pair of knockers. FACT, FACT (BLACK AND WHITE ARMY!)

I'm telling the truth all of the time, these stories are true, hence my reputation and nickname! A bit of advice, even if it's just for a short period you should all work as a night porter in a city centre hotel. The situations you can find yourself in are incredible. Like when I was bucking a lass in her room and my pager went off so i used this lasses room phone to answer the pager, itwas my fucking lass asking if she could come in for a shag in the jacuzzi. She was at the door in nowt but a overcoat! So I shoot my muck faster than a speeding bullet and hot footed it down to let her in before one of Gateshead finest snatched her of the street. She couldn't understand why I couldn't get it up for her and thought i mustn't fancy her anymore. Took me half an hour to get hard! 115709[/snapback] You are on fire today Smoothie. 115712[/snapback] On heat more like. Though I dont doubt he's experienced a few burning sensations in his time too.

Me too. It takes me ages to come from a blow job unless the bird is a true connoisseur of oral fulfillment. Once pulled a lass who was staying in the hotel i was working night shift in, she was sucking me off for an hour before she got lock jaw and decided to sit on my face instead. Who was I to stop her? 115698[/snapback] More Gold!

All sounds very passive on your part if you dont mind me saying tbh. 115687[/snapback] It's more that I feel I am receiving a generous gift 115695[/snapback] Charitable donation I'd call it, slap heed!

All sounds very passive on your part if you dont mind me saying tbh.

My girlfriend is one of these rare specimens. She's up for pretty much everything else though. As for my type, I'd say brunette and curvy, but these don't always apply. As for the height thing, as long as they're not taller than me I'm happy. 115588[/snapback] Jesus wept. Can't believe you admitted that. Practically makes you gay if you stay with her tbh! I can only imagine your pain at this difficult time. 115612[/snapback] Did you not read the second line? 115648[/snapback] Is there really anything more to life though? You have to ask yourself. I'm reigning this thread back in now with a bit of existentialist philosophy. 115651[/snapback] Good point, but does this mean you value a blowjob the highest prize of all? In the past if it was all I got I considered it more of a consolation tbh. 115667[/snapback] No but a good one takes some beating. I don't know when you stopped believing Luke, but I feel sorry for you. People on here are literally laughing at you.

Sage advice at last after a full five pages.

I too find this attitude to blow jobs staggering tbh. I was once at a mate's party when his parents were on holiday. One of his girlfriends mates was there and when everyone fucked off I made my move on her. My mate had said before he went to bed not to fuck her on his parents sofa, (he knew I was gonna work the magic on her) so out of respect to my mate I let her suck me off on the sofa instead. I could tell she wasn't too keen on the art of oral satisfaction although she did a good job overall, being young I assumed she was keen to impress, that was until I spunked in her mouth and she gagged then spat it all out into her hands and ran to the bog. Next day in the pub my mate asked if I shagged her on his parents sofa, I said no but that I wasn't responsible for the stain on the cushion, that as far as i was concerned was her fault for not swallowing! 115630[/snapback] Which leads onto the next question... Why wont some birds swallow the salty goodness? 115634[/snapback] I used to go with a lass from Southampton who'd insist i spunk on her hair cos she reckoned it was really good for it, some nutrients in spunk are the same as in conditioner I think was her arguement, I didn't mind like but one slight misjudgement lead to me spunking right in her eye and then to add insult to injury I stabbed her in the same eye with my weapon as I tried to get my load higher. And then there was a bird I worked with who went to swallow my manly muck and sneezed at the crucial moment resulting in my muck coming out of her nose. She was mortified and never swalllowed again, she didn't last long. 115649[/snapback] The fucking indignation I imagined that last line should be read with. 115652[/snapback] You like your fancy words don't you. Are you a fan of fancy cakes too? Btw, i keep finding myself pissing myself at my desk at work remembering the crawling on all 5 line! The old dried up bints in the office are looking at me like i'm a right numpty. 115656[/snapback]

Listen to the fucking lies on this one!

At the same time.....happy as I am to reciprocate in the oral stakes*, which lads can honestly say they'd be happy dealing with a torrent of God-knows-what at climax? *in principle, though I demand minimum standards of hygiene etc.

I too find this attitude to blow jobs staggering tbh. I was once at a mate's party when his parents were on holiday. One of his girlfriends mates was there and when everyone fucked off I made my move on her. My mate had said before he went to bed not to fuck her on his parents sofa, (he knew I was gonna work the magic on her) so out of respect to my mate I let her suck me off on the sofa instead. I could tell she wasn't too keen on the art of oral satisfaction although she did a good job overall, being young I assumed she was keen to impress, that was until I spunked in her mouth and she gagged then spat it all out into her hands and ran to the bog. Next day in the pub my mate asked if I shagged her on his parents sofa, I said no but that I wasn't responsible for the stain on the cushion, that as far as i was concerned was her fault for not swallowing! 115630[/snapback] Which leads onto the next question... Why wont some birds swallow the salty goodness? 115634[/snapback] I used to go with a lass from Southampton who'd insist i spunk on her hair cos she reckoned it was really good for it, some nutrients in spunk are the same as in conditioner I think was her arguement, I didn't mind like but one slight misjudgement lead to me spunking right in her eye and then to add insult to injury I stabbed her in the same eye with my weapon as I tried to get my load higher. And then there was a bird I worked with who went to swallow my manly muck and sneezed at the crucial moment resulting in my muck coming out of her nose. She was mortified and never swalllowed again, she didn't last long. 115649[/snapback] The fucking indignation I imagined that last line should be read with.

My girlfriend is one of these rare specimens. She's up for pretty much everything else though. As for my type, I'd say brunette and curvy, but these don't always apply. As for the height thing, as long as they're not taller than me I'm happy. 115588[/snapback] Jesus wept. Can't believe you admitted that. Practically makes you gay if you stay with her tbh! I can only imagine your pain at this difficult time. 115612[/snapback] Did you not read the second line? 115648[/snapback] Is there really anything more to life though? You have to ask yourself. I'm reigning this thread back in now with a bit of existentialist philosophy.

I could have limbo'd in under the door tbh.

I've never seen anything quite so gay as you kissy-kissying in the middle of the Trent last weekend, you big puff! 115496[/snapback] Using Joni Mitchell lyrics in your sig? 115576[/snapback] Shhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 115581[/snapback] Awwwwww. Sweet songs about clouds and fluffy things. It must be love!! 115585[/snapback] Silence dwarf-woman! 115592[/snapback] This surpasses snogging in the Trent on the gayness scale. 115597[/snapback] Men in patent leather spatz shouldnt throw stones.

My girlfriend is one of these rare specimens. She's up for pretty much everything else though. As for my type, I'd say brunette and curvy, but these don't always apply. As for the height thing, as long as they're not taller than me I'm happy. 115588[/snapback] Jesus wept. Can't believe you admitted that. Practically makes you gay if you stay with her tbh! I can only imagine your pain at this difficult time.

I've never seen anything quite so gay as you kissy-kissying in the middle of the Trent last weekend, you big puff! 115496[/snapback] Using Joni Mitchell lyrics in your sig? 115576[/snapback] Shhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 115581[/snapback] Awwwwww. Sweet songs about clouds and fluffy things. It must be love!! 115585[/snapback] Silence dwarf-woman!

I've never seen anything quite so gay as you kissy-kissying in the middle of the Trent last weekend, you big puff! 115496[/snapback] Using Joni Mitchell lyrics in your sig? 115576[/snapback] Shhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comes on his own tits! (laughs)

4ft4 plus? That's everyone bar your double-amputee-bedpan-fella in with a chance tbh.

me mothers got tickets to see him at the city hall 115547[/snapback] Letting his fans down tbh. Broken the first rule of showbusiness there.

Even though I anticipated (and even hoped) that this thread would degenerate a bit, I never envisaged a situation where we'd have theories based on spunk being mixed with olive oil.

Yeah, I'm the anti-gay 115534[/snapback] Tits and cock? Gemmill caters for all parties tbh.

Sounds like some form of mental retardity tbh.