Ayatollah Hermione

Maguire setting the tempo and slowing us down to walking football

If he doesn’t get fat, he’s definitely going to have enough work done to make Manilow blush

The FA haven’t got the cash to poach him or Potter, I’d say. Honestly wouldn’t surprise me to see Lampard view it as a quick way out of Everton. Or they do a Southgate and promote Carsley

Lovely man. I hope he’s getting the very life ridden out of him by Mrs Howe this evening

Henderson playing is fine, I’d say because if you want to go deep, Bellingham will need a rest. Mind, how that doesn’t extend to Kane is a mystery when we’ve got two strikers sitting on the bastard bench

If it’s any consolation, his tears during yet another tournament knock out won’t be far off

We’ve had three cup games under Howe and been shite in all of them Sure it’ll come when the squad depth improves but for now, I’ll just settle with the League Cup

Aye, the excitement was starting to build like

Germany going out early two tournaments off the belt would genuinely be unthinkable in living memory

Not that finances are really an issue for us anymore but those kind of attendances, even with cheap tickets, will be massive for the Women’s team to invest in what they need to progress

Canada as the underdogs getting absolutely battered by the superior Europeans. A World Cup tale as old as time

A Germany win tonight would make the final day in this group a crazy bit of business

It’s a weird one with Southgate because I genuinely think both sides of the argument on him are right It’s a strange one where you can’t really knock the record and how he’s basically transformed the culture around the squad but he’s also too cautious for his own good and needs cattle prodded into making any kind of substitution without thinking about it for 15 minutes.

Kane is absolutely world class, the blokes record is insane and he’s done it, often, in pretty average or underachieving Spurs sides. The problem is that, the idea that you need 11 world class players to perform at a World Cup is total bollocks. France won in 1998 with Guivarch up front ffs. England have More than enough attacking talent where the manager can take off the handbrake but he simply refuses. The Iran game was great because you saw the players that perform fortheir club do the same for England; Kane was dropping deep and threading balls, Saka and Sterling were causing havoc out wide, Bellingham had full license to go forward and to see all of that curtailed is massively frustrating. England don’t have 11 world class players but they have enough players whose form is dovetailing where that should be harnessed and not suppressed. Wales on Tuesday has every chance to be a hard old game. They’ll not knock us out but fuck me, they could be as awkward as possible on the way out

“Gateshead, County Durham” Their dedication to these running delusions makes Arrested Development’s running gags seem brief

Can’t believe I got a stinking hangover off the back of that shite last night

They’ve been scrapping with the Saudi team

It’s shameful really. It doesn’t take longer than 10 seconds to think of far more ruinous events in USAs history to take the piss out of them for. Kids these days, man

This is when it gets good, like. When teams have to actually go for it to stay in the tournament

Serbia making two subs immediately after conceding because Plan A of playing for the draw hasn’t worked. Shitehawk behaviour, get shot of them

This Brazilian performance could genuinely do with Bruno

Peter Walton, in a shock move, agreed with the on-field ref after a shocking decision today. Onlookers have been described as “baffled” and “fucking at the end of the rope” as to why he’s even consulted during World Cup coverage at this point

I’m xG agnostic tbh but teams have won entire trophies off the back of having fuck all in the way of chances. Greece in 2004 would make an absolute mockery of it

He’s not even the best striker in the Serbia squad

Having watched Spain, I reckon Gavi would probably come on ten fold if he spent a 6 month spell watching Jack Clarke from the bench