Ayatollah Hermione

They’ll have the Pimms open before long. If Fish hasn’t drank it all

Vurnon Anita. A player who, on Twitter, gradually turned into Zidane the longer he sat on the bench

That one who played the lady FBI agent he dug out for The Return was something else as well

Not sure I’ve ever seen such an expensively assembled squad of absolutely shite footballers than this Man Utd team. Bruno Fernandes is the only one with anything about him. And he’s a cunt

Fuck me, they might actually go down

Ah man, that’s actually gutted me. Twin Peaks is the best TV ever

I’m just hoping that we see Sanusi promoted to the bench instead of Howe putting two keepers on there

Im hoping they do similar as they did with Mourinho. Let him get to a final and then sack him just before and let Ryan Mason take charge

Any chance someone could sit these cunts at TNT/Sky down and tell them that we’re not fucking selling Isak? I’ve never known desperation like it

Good work breaking that attack up for Wolves at the end there as he tries to engage his feet

Miley ahead of Longstaff. Howe playing his favourites again 😠

I’m glad he’s done his back, he’s playing well

If the scores stay as they are, is this the most favourable set of results we’ve ever had? Every single one going our way

Thought they had the better of the opening but we soon shuffled things about and got a grip on it. Still some loose touches and passes but just need to keep it simple and solid from here on in. They will certainly bring Cunha on at some point so we could do with that second goal

Botman, Burn, Hall, Targett, Livramento is more than enough to cover the left hand side of defence. Signing someone for free and flipping him for £10-15 million is exactly the shit you have to do these days, I’m afraid.

People begging for Hayden to start last season during our injury crisis was a particular low point

Can’t wait for another “getting up to speed” performance where he’s running in treacle and can’t make a pass to save his life

7 minutes! You’ve got to laugh really

Murillo has been outrageously good tonight. Anderson not far behind him

We somehow stay in fifth

Mad night of results here, all great games from the look of it. Hope we buck the trend with a boring 2-0 win tomorrow. No fucking about

His shock as well He must be the only bloke who doesn’t realise he’s a right dirty cunt

Must admit, I thought us beating Forest (I think they lost the game before that too?) would see them drop off but fair play, they’re getting better as the season goes

Palmer scores and Owen Hargreaves has spunktaenously combusted