Ayatollah Hermione

He’ll have done it in training on our fucking Indian burial ground training pitches

What remaining nerves I had for the final are gone now tbh. This is a free hit.

He’s out. Needs knee surgery again. Just kick out the stool and let me hang

Jesus fucking Christ. What’s the point? They could fall in a mountain of shit and come up smelling of roses

Even when they’re battered, they survive a bullshit offside and a blatant red and get to take a team back to Anfield at 0-0 Absolutely unbelievable. We don’t get that much luck in a season

The Americans who have paid a billion dollars for a ticket to the final will lap that shit up though. In between wondering why Messi isn’t playing in the game between Spain and France

Doesn’t matter, they’ll just up the inhalers next week. You can get at these though. If Gordon was at it, he’d have tortured Trent. Not even sure who we could get at him other than Isak but you’d need him central

Krafth with Schar in the middle of the three to remember how to start attacks off

You’ve got to laugh or you’ll cry. I’m sure Liverpool will suffer similar issues and won’t come out of two legs against PSG smelling of roses

He cared about the commercial side, man. Sports Direct paid a fortune to advertise everywhere, obviously

I wouldn’t rushing to start Barnes since, as much as I’ve give him stick, Willock is showing some signs of life again and I always liked him and Joelinton interchanging down the left. You’d hope that Barnes has rediscovered his touch off the bench though, just in case

Wild how Russia have genuinely got a fully-fledged Russian asset running the show in America. Talk about playing the long game to win the Cold War

The Xbox consoles are a piece of piss to turn into unreal emulation machines too, if you’re so inclined

There’s no doubt that Wraith and Straughan are great friends and there’s a great mutual respect. In fact, I’m sure Wraith can’t wait to try and extort or run a grift on him in the near future

Just no more calamities, please

Days like this are proof positive that a massive summer is needed. I’m not sure the options were out there but it would have been nice to see us gamble on a CF on loan but I suppose they were rolling the dice to see if Wilson still had it

If I can spin things positively, the final may mean the return of the Willock/Joelinton pivot on the left which used to be pretty handy and would keep teams guessing. Trent absolutely struggles against direct pace though so not sure we could have picked a worse player to lose than Gordon. Other than Isak, obviously

Just about everything that could have went wrong there did.

Aye. Absolutely classic Newcastle where the circus has well and truly come to town

Every time with this cunt. Has he not retired yet

Dubravka has to stay in nets. The idea of getting Pope back up to speed is a decent one but Gordon has just thrown a spanner into that. Keep Dubs in

30 Rock was a good idea at the time, I’m sure

That should be Gomez off as well tbh. Halved Tonali and then booted the ball away

Every single game this cunt refs devolves into absolute chaos. He’s a total clown. Whoever said he’s just evened it up is right. Considering Baleba should have been off 15 minutes earlier.

Maybe something similar will happen to Liverpool, the team who encounter absolutely no hardship whatsoever