Ayatollah Hermione

Bet Bruno has the perfect combo of length and girth

9th with a -16 goal difference If you want a further example of Howe’s insanely good job

If he can get Joelinton scoring a hattrick today, Howe should be given Manager of the Season on the spot

Delia herself would be proud of this crumble!

Get in, these have crumbled

There has to be a handbook for allotted time spent on each check. Manchester United: 3/4 of a second Newcastle United: As long as you need to find a reason to disallow it

Give him the 9 back

We have Liverpool and Man City back to back next, are you of this Earth?

Pukei, surely

I understand we’re safe and this is 60% of our second string but fucking hell

Willock’s complete inability to start playing a game of football properly until the 40th minute is bizarre. Get him on the Monster pop at ten to 3

Can well see why some of these are sitting on the bench Lascelles still treats the ball like it’s a bomb about to go off

Not having Ciaran Clark on the pitch this time greatly improves our chances

Every 10 minutes, each of the front 3 will randomly swap positions and Hanley will get so confused, he’ll combust in a shower of Buckfast

Big day for Longstaff, too. I reckon today might go a long way to getting him a new contract. If he can’t impose himself against their midfield then he has no hope. I demand 2 assists and a goal

Gayle btw Everyone seems to think because he made the kind of run a child would make against Leicester, he should be back in the side

Can’t really figure out what’s going on there but Norwich’s defence looks hilarious so I do hope ASM is up against Byram

Man United Two defenders had a swing at that and both fucked it right up

Should be in February, if anything

I expect them to bring in a load of youth players and fuck off the majority of the current shite in the summer tbh. And then let Ashworth cut the crust off the whole shit sandwich when he arrives.

Howe was saying that Lewis has had a few surgeries since the new year so that explains why he didn’t make the 25 after January. Maybe there is a way back for him

Excuse me, young man. We are the richest club on earth, back handed fees are not an issue

4th strong album in a row. Ideal if you like your Gram Parsons, Flying Burrito Band, more psychedelic Big Star, good harmonies etc.

Also, interesting to hear that they’re potentially interested in a few free transfers. When you see some of the players who will be kicking about on a free, you can see why. Can bolster a few positions with some good players. Ginter, Kamara, Denayer and Eriksen jump out straight away as a few that would improve us massively at no cost

The 4 hour Beano crossover will redefine cinema