Ayatollah Hermione

Boldon pubs getting double the bouncers in to prepare for him coming home. They’ll be used to doing similar with the kitchen staff when CT is off his diet

We have entered the Pickford Phase where he’s running around like a fuckwit, chasing crosses 8 yards out of his goal and leaving it completely open

Touch from Diaz was ridiculous. Saint-Maximin will be trying that every 10 minutes on Saturday

Hard lines on Everton who will now have to change tact from cryarsing and diving to actually kicking a ball

Im going to get immense satisfaction when his career fizzles into 170 appearances for Watford. How many times do we see these hard-working shit wingers stand out in relegated sides that go on to accomplish nothing?

Get in Absolutely nobody will miss this Everton team like. What a pack of cunts

Would cap off a canny weekend if Anthony Gollum got sent off

They keep saying these players have “quad” injuries which is something that only really gets pulled or damaged when people are abusing steroids, I believe. Frank has them doped up and they’re still shite

Namaste to Burnley. May they survive on Bisto power

Half of them probably want to go down so they can get it on a shit flag

He’s different class, my friend. 95% of players, when presented with the opportunity he was given today, would have went for power but he had the speed of thought to go for the chip. It shouldn’t be understated that he was practically the main force in our second too. Most players would have had another touch and the runs of Willock and Murphy would have went unnoticed. Not this thick penis’d cunt; one look up, one ball perfectly weighted, Joelinton’s your uncle. This has went on long enough that I can only really remember the framework of your post but aye, in that time, he did a slide tackle? Well, I’ll review what I was replying to tomorrow but haven’t we all had a lovely time? How’s about that Tyson Fury? Does he support Newcastle or was his gypsy carnival troupe ran by a MLF? Let me know but for now, good night and good luck.

Think Bruno’s little roll of the ball to set himself up for his goal might be better than the chip itself. Outrageous skills

Lol @ Whyte’s blatant brain damage as he got to his feet. Why you’d put yourself through this three times, I simply do not know

Settled in for my twice a year boxing watch, boys. Prepare for some uninformed gobshitery

Have we ever really ascertained why, of all the clubs, he latched on to Sunderland to peddle his shite? Obviously, they’re thick as fuck bootlickers who will follow a pied piper into the abyss but do they drink more fucking crap energy drinks than anyone else or what?

I know it’s not dyslexia but I was really hoping that her thread of 5 tweets would finish with the 4th one

Just a great time to be alive no matter how you look at it

Someone pass this message along

Luckily for them, they’ve got a history of keeping their bottle in this situation

Love stuff like that. Will mention it to the lads tomorrow to complete indifference

I like when people talk about games against sides like this as potential banana skins but then you turn up and they demonstrate why they’re bottom

Big fan of Almiron just smashing that as hard as he could there.

Ultimate piss take sub there with Ritchie

I see fouls don’t count on our players now because Norwich are shit and are feeling sad