Ayatollah Hermione

They have to play Liverpool away as well I think Southampton could well see someone else get twatted 9-0 for a change

Perfect to style with a pair of ASICS trackies as you give backas to the local charvas

Pickford with the slice Must have one mind on what nasty Sam Fender is saying at the arena

Everton are grim, like. If they stay up, Frank Lampard is not the man to sort this lot out unless they have an unprecedented transfer window and find 5 outrageous bargains. Even more so if/when Calvert-Lewin and Richarlison leave

“Elton! Did you write that one about calling It the blues just after Sewpa Jermain retired?”

My mother went to see him and was pissed off that he didn’t get up on the piano and give it the big licks. He was about 68, what did she expect? There’s every chance that hairpiece will get caught by a stray crisp packet in the Landfill of Light and get whipped off his head too

“Sticky Vicky is on at the Pallion WMC. Mags could never compete”

Says a fair bit that they’re going cock-a-hoop over someone who hasn’t made a decent song since 1973

Blatant dive from the Singing Detective but that won’t stop Mike Dean

Aye, football has done quite alright for long enough but I suppose they can charge sponsors more if they’re on screen for 100 minutes rather than 90. This fucking lot

I'm so sure we're not going down that I just want abject humiliation for Everton from now until the end of May.

I’ve mentioned this before but in the season we finished 5th under Pardew, a mackem genuinely tried to tell me they had a better season because they got further in the FA Cup

Fender's uber Geordie shtick is pretty transparently put on at this point but he can keep it up if it's winding this lot up this much

I’d say we’re more likely to beat a Leicester that is juggling Europe than Wolves

I have us in 12th which i didn’t think could happen but didn’t realise the likes of Brentford and Watford had so many games to play with the teams around them.

I could sort these differences out. Just give me some fresh bed sheets, a bottle of red wine and some kamagra.

Aye, that would be my problem. I circumvent it by simply not learning how to drive.

Will take a point and an improved performance tbqpfhwy

If he’s prattling on like this next season in a desperate grab for attention, he needs his football forum access removed again. Not having this “Starting to worry now, guys 😩” shit after an opening day loss to Liverpool

Aye, I’ve tried to defend him because there have been times where he’s genuinely been a nuisance for the opposition but he’s been Riviere-quality recently

Some of our high pressing was shocking and we played into their hands with the high line at times. Howe has to take some criticism there

Glad Saint-Maximin’s platitude riddled bullshit on Instagram about “showing everyone” has got off to a flyer

We need Bruno to start against Wolves tbh. Moutinho and Neves could run the game if we have Shelvey jogging about in the press

Let’s hope this is a dodgy blip because Jesus wept

We’ve been fucking shit here