Ayatollah Hermione

Violent Cop - Funny as fuck

Emergency Glaziers number on speed dial? I'll be in Dippersville for this Haha! Took me a couple of seconds to work out what you meant there, good memory Got convicted for that by the way, can you believe it! I was wondering where'd you went.

They'll not shift seven past us. I have hope that we'll be a bit more organised at the back than the shambles that was West Brom.

Shearer and Hanson appear to have visibly aged over the summer. I know the world cup was bad, but even so... I'm convinced that Hansen is trying to see how much shite he can get away with saying, or in some cases, how little he can say and have it be passed off as analysis.

Very true. Horde is also an excellent co-op mode, providing you have 5 mates bored enough to sit through it for hours.

Reckon we'll get battered but only concede 2. Rooney nailed on to score, I bet.

I hate how Sky is following the BBC route of all the pundits becoming incredibly chummy with each other. Jamie Redknapp is bad enough without it.

Joe Cole What a shame.

Funny People - False advertising.

Titus Bramble: Secret Agent tbh.

Can't be any worse than Smith in that role. Can he play anywhere else?

I figured he might have signed, not 8 pages of dipshit theater.

280 UCAS points is a load more than two B's, isn't it? I got 2 B's and an A and only got 180. That was back in the day like.

I was on a plane when he signed and it was through the night when it was officially announced. The pilot woke everybody up to tell them he'd signed for us.

Type "Alan" into Google and Shearer is before Hansen. As far as I'm concerned, that's proof he's better. Also,

I piss with my knob.

The filling looks like gravel as well.

Got Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for a quid. I've managed to never see it, does it hold up well?

Congratulations and good luck with it all, Khay. If your uncle gets you a toaster and not a helicopter ride, cut off all contact with him.

Aye, it's very funny. Must-watch for any football fan.

Or if the media themselves had spent a couple of years inventing some cliches.

So, if Enrique gets injured, we have Perch and three youth players to back him up? I hope he comes along well anyway.

Well, he could work for Talksport if things don't work out. Which they won't.

Turn to Page 4 to continue through the doors Turn to Page 51 to turn on your heels and go home

The Weezer cover is amazing. I might buy it on vinyl and put it on my wall. Is that Maximum Balloon album good, Chez?