Kitman

"You like we score many goals for shure, yesh?"

Will no-one think of the structure?

Is that actually her?? That's her

She's no looker

It's not worth it, she says next to nothing in all those word, barring a quick of Keane. That smiley

Graeme Souness was a terrible manager for us. About as much use as a cock flavoured lolly.

Really quite a dull article from the mackem scribbler. These tuppenny hacks are so ridiculously self important, I hope JFK calls her and her ilk cunts all over again, they deserve it.

We seem to be turning into an episode of Minder. They should call it The Winchester not Shearers Bar

No offence but the best you lot have churned out is Ant and Dec and aufedersein pet. Hull has better "craic" than the toon. I see your Auf Wiedersehen and raise you an "Up the Elephant and round the Castle" We are win. Only fools.....the trump card I see your Only Fools and its an impressive hand I give you that but its undone by Brush Strokes. Add in 'Birds of a Feather' and he's well and truly bust

I feel sick. Please God, no. I predict he'll just pass the medical before his hamstrings will give out under the strain of supporting his enormous head and arse. He will then transfer his bulky frame onto the treatment table which no doubt still bears his imprint from all the years previously spent there. And there he'll stay when he's not stuffing his face with calories or counting his ill deserved cash till his contract runs out again. I'd say we may be desperate but we're not daft, but judging by the calibre of decision making at SJP these days, maybe it's about right. Since Ashley and his assorted mob of cronies ran for the Fuhrer bunker and slammed the door, I reckon it's the caretaker and not the caretaker manager who's been making the footballing decisions. Stephen Carr? God help us

I like the way Poyet is meant to have turned us down so we're supposedly going for Hiddink now. Because it would make sense to fo things in that order. It's probably fucking true though, not that I can see 'Hoose' coming here in a million years. Exactly. What are Poyet's credentials anyway? He's mates with Jimmy Crankie and they made a great team at Leeds, for what that's worth. Ince's credentials? Mate of Jimmy Crankie presumably. David O'Leary? Mate of Arfur Daley LLambias. If you believe the press, our manager, sorry coach will apparently be selected on the basis of whether their mate gets Ashley's ear. Never mind what they've achieved in the game. It wouldn't suprise me either. I don't know if it was you that thought that up but it's fuckin' good. A flash of inspiration

Terry Venables? Dave Bassett? Harry Redknapp? Roll out the barrel, we'll ave a barrel of fan......altogever naah

Jonas and the wail ? I'll get me coat.....

I like the way Poyet is meant to have turned us down so we're supposedly going for Hiddink now. Because it would make sense to fo things in that order. It's probably fucking true though, not that I can see 'Hoose' coming here in a million years. Exactly. What are Poyet's credentials anyway? He's mates with Jimmy Crankie and they made a great team at Leeds, for what that's worth. Ince's credentials? Mate of Jimmy Crankie presumably. David O'Leary? Mate of Arfur Daley LLambias. If you believe the press, our manager, sorry coach will apparently be selected on the basis of whether their mate gets Ashley's ear. Never mind what they've achieved in the game. It wouldn't suprise me either.

I can't believe anyone would be impressed with Poyet or Ince. Unless they didn't know much about football. Oh, hang on a minute

And playing people out of position

Happy birthday, mate. Still a spring chicken

This sort of thing just shows how thin the squad is. If past history is anything to go by, our first team players will drop like flies over the next few weeks and we'll be in the clarts with players like Ameobi filling in on the wing again

Poorly written, no humour, must try harder

Deary me, the backy slaps are out today

It's like an episode of It Ain't Alf Hot Mum in here This mackem's pitiful attempt at wummery's actually cheering me up a little

What? Did you get your language skills from a weetabix carton? 15 year old spotty charva mackem, innit

I'm disappointed by the very low quality of the Mackem wind up posts on here.....this one is pitiful, and the gadgee was probably bent double with laughter when he posted it too

All too depressing. So much for the brave new world of Ashley & co, it's the same old circus it ever was

Are you overcompensating for something, Mr P?