Kitman

It's shite like this that helped make emigration an easy decision. It's ironic that a country that doesn't hold back in styling itself as the home of democracy and freedom attempts at every turn to undermine the basic rights of its citizens. It's also ironic that the freedom that Englishmen take for granted to the point of complacency took centuries of protest, struggle and bloodshed to achieve. Those same rights are being slowly suffocated in the name of the war on terror and, more obliquely, crime. What passes many people by is that the state and the police are essentially incompetent and are not to be trusted. This has been shown time and time again - for instance with the Troubles and the galloping miscarriages of justice that were committed, the harrassment of CND and Greenpeace members etc - where the government will follow its own agenda and persecute those that get in the way. There's no doubt that DNA testing has achieved some very good things, but I tend to see this in context of all the other measures that have been taken, to ensure that personal freedom and the right to privacy dies by a thousand cuts. The reason that these rights were fought for in the first place, was that the state could not be trusted not to abuse its power. No such danger in NZ. They couldn't afford the software, let alone the hardware required.

We're 13 hours ahead here in good old New Zealand and we've just seen in the new year. Fireworks over Auckland harbour on a midsummer's night with cold beers. Happy new year everybody!

Nearly top of the injury list? Just like the good old days!

I hope McKay's right. I also hope we don't spend a penny on any more of his shit clients.

Stevie G: "Eh, eh, leave us alone, leave us alone" Cell mate: "And he's now approaching the penalty box. He's favourite to score. With a cheeky reverse pass *thumps Gerrard in the gut* he's round the back of the defense. He's going to shoot......he's going to burst the net with this one!" Stevie G: "Arrggghhhhh!"

Compared with some of the fuckers on N-O, Baggio's tongue isn't that close to Ashley's intestines. Aye, it's grim on there atm

Baggio must be the Ashley regime's number 1 apologist

An artist's impression of his alleged victim?

Done diddly done

Nauseating. I wished I hadn't read that. In common with most of oliver's stuff in fact.

Of course not. Barton is a despicable thug who should be forced to eat his own testicles. Stevie G is the stuff that Sky TV's dreams are made of. It'll all be shown to be a terrible misunderstanding* *provided enough cash changes hands

Stop using the tabloids for PR?

Unfortunately I suspect his version of taking the club forward will be to continue to recruit promising youngsters to the academy and neglect the first team. And give the Fuckin' Fuckster a longer contract to demonstrate his relegation beating prowess while the better/higher paid players leave. Hope I'm wrong.

Bit strong like. You can't blame Dick Van Dyke for being hopelessly miscast as a cockernee

No doubt Gerrard will get his customary goal against us, so the tabloids can wank themselves stupid over his greatness and the wondrousness of the Prem, till their knobs drop off. He'll do well to get the better of Butt You're quite right, I'd forgotten about the our legenday ginger slapheed. I bet Gerrard throws a sickie just to avoid playing against him

I expect Owen would make far more money out of a free transfer at the end of the season. Not that it's all about the money of course, he'd have more choice of clubs potentially too. So I can't see him leaving just cos Fat Mike fancies a quick buck

No doubt Gerrard will get his customary goal against us, so the tabloids can wank themselves stupid over his greatness and the wondrousness of the Prem, till their knobs drop off.

Couldn't agree more with every word. He'll be laying off staff, buying dirt cheap stock and having bargain sales asap ...but he's said he's a true fan! That means he's going to see that we need some quality and start using the healthy income the club has to recruit some top players. After all, these scouts were more important than our Messiah Manager...he MUST have a plan to let these boys show what they can do! I can't wait for the good times to start at St James's. WOO HOO!! For a second there I thought you were serious 'Ave a 'eart me ole China, it''s cam straight from ver 'orses maff. Would he lie to us? Damn those fake cockernees

Couldn't agree more with every word. He'll be laying off staff, buying dirt cheap stock and having bargain sales asap ...but he's said he's a true fan! That means he's going to see that we need some quality and start using the healthy income the club has to recruit some top players. After all, these scouts were more important than our Messiah Manager...he MUST have a plan to let these boys show what they can do! I can't wait for the good times to start at St James's. WOO HOO!! Well you've convinced me

For 'club run responsibly' read 'I will mostly be spending fuck all money at any stage'. My take on it is that he couldn't find a mug to pay the ridiculously inflated price he wanted, so he's going back to running the club like one of his discount stores. Woop-de doo's all around

I'm sure the players are heartened by JFK's assessment of our chances......

To nobody's great surprise, I imagine.

I did the BBC predictor and had us 7th after the next 3 games (W,D,W). Mind you I had been drinking heavily.

Shocked tbh. Why would a fine upstanding bastion of journalism like the Daily Mail want an ill informed cliche ridden purveyor of jellied tripe?

Personally I think he has no intention of staying, whether we qualify for Europe or not. He will want to play in the Champions League, recapture his England place, and win trophies, all of which rules us out frankly. Our club is run like a pub football team by comparison with a top club, so I don't blame him for being ambitious and wanting away. I wouldn't be surprised if he went abroad again, with the free transfer making it attractive to foreign clubs. This 'let's leave for now, lads' is a stalling tactic essentially, designed to keep the press and fans off his back, whilst his management team get on with the business of lining up his next move. I think he'll stay till the end of the season, as he wants a free transfer anyway.