Dazzler

"How did I take a picture using my phone, whilst holding my phone in my hand?" Probably ghosts.

I legitimately preferred Joelinton's Vs Milan too.

Mental health facilities is the only thing that makes sense as an answer to this these days. The faster these cunts are out the door the better. I genuinely don't think it could get worse. The monster raving loony party could get in and it would be an improvement on the current government.

We'd have been nowhere without him, would never have made the CL without him, and would never made the cup final last season without him. I can't think of a single player who has been more important to the club since I started giving a shit about football in around 95/96. I include Shearer in that as well, since I think as important as he was to the club throughout the years, that purchase for the fee and wages at the time is what held us back in future years and meant the new PLC had to start shipping out our best players, whilst Dalgliesh brought in a bunch of cheap, middle aged men as replacements. Trippier is a born winner, and has instilled that mentality throughout the club. He turns up and gives a shit even when he can't contribute, never takes credit, and is quick to hold his own hands up when things go wrong so on top of the stuff above I think he's also been the best leader on and off the pitch (from a player perspective) we've had in my lifetime too.

Sky Sports made way more of a deal of this than was deserved. It's a good goal, but it's not exactly the screamer/greatest goal ever they labelled it as. Standard Gerrard strike from back in the day.

We've already got the turkey, pigs in blankets, sausage stuffing, and the yorkshires. Quite frankly I couldn't give a fuck about the rest of it so will just grab what's left tomorrow night and then sit on my arse drinking through til boxing day - stopping briefly to cook the dinner on the 25th. We have enough for the dinner and the evening left over sarnie already - so I'm feeling pretty relaxed.

Aye, but Jeffery Epstein not being on the list was even more of a shock.

The ref from Tuesday would have given this a very reluctant yellow.

Don't get me fucking started on the yanks and their backward fucking dates.

Aye, the centurion. You can get a pint, and a Greggs and watch some pissed up doylem vomit on the public piano, whilst someone offers you a massive jar of Nescafé they just chawed from the Sainsbury's for a very reasonable price.

"Do you think you could score 100 penos past me, you rat faced, Scouse cunt? I'll fucking kick a medicine ball up your hoop 100 times out of a fucking hundred, and twice on Sundays, causing more devastation to your anus than your racist cunt of a brother took at the hands of his cell mate for 17 years." *Joey, wiping tears away* "I'd like to go home now please, la"

Poor date formatting - for that reason I can only give this a 07/10.

The jungle AND GB News. I don't think Strictly would take him. He'll be on who dares wins getting reduced to tears after a lass shows him up as a fucking mug

Burn will like that - it'll give him something to care for and keep him busy after Ryan Fraser died of cot death.

I'm confident Mary Earps wouldn't save a single one of my pelanties (even if I had 100 goes) - Because I'd not hit the target once

Technically he's 5'8 but still

Though I would read a brief film review by Michael Owen on most films as he goes on to explain the entire plot, and offers insight into things he think we may have overlooked, but are just painfully obvious facts. "Spider-man: no way home. There were no spiders in this film. But there were spider-men. I love little surprises like that."

It would be impossible to even guarantee getting 100 out of 100 on target let alone giving her something to attempt to save, the daft cunt. "Twice on fucking Sunday" - The calling card of small minded, possibly mentally disabled, but definitely cuntish men - see also Tyson Fury (Soz Albert!)

TBF Sly is only about 5'4, he wears high heels to appear taller. All Pele had to do was put the ball high into the roof of the net (not even aiming for corners)

Hudson-Odoi and Arteta - Did a Spurs fan who wanks over Trump knock this list up?

Another 8-0 - Only the ghosts of former players to score - whether they are dead or not.

Fuck it we're out. Telly's off.

Should have booked the cunt and disallowed his pen imo.

Guilty conscience there by Caicedo.

He's larned Geordie, wor kid. Definitely took too many blahs to the heed.