Gemmill

Skol never actually sees Parker play other than when he's on telly tbh. He's borrowed his "Parker is shit" opinion from HTL.

Is that why he's been shite for a while then?

I'm seriously thinking about not renewing this year, must admit. Gonna see what happens over the next 2 or 3 months.

Whatever you say, Crystal Carrington. I'm Dex Dexter tbh. Although that would mean I'm shagging you. Mixing my soaps up I know, but you're blatantly Cliff Barnes.

I bet she's fit though, right? Fit and visually impaired I reckon. She ain't nothin but a hound dog tbh lads. What do you lot take me for? No one can believe you are going to work on a saturday voluntarily. There has to be an ulterior motive?? I swear it's just to try and help this lass catch up! Boss of the year, me.

Whatever you say, Crystal Carrington. I'm Dex Dexter tbh. Although that would mean I'm shagging you.

I knew that, Alexis Colby!

I bet she's fit though, right? Fit and visually impaired I reckon. She ain't nothin but a hound dog tbh lads. What do you lot take me for?

me in reverse? so a short fat hairy charver? I don't think you could pull that look off Scott, not with the ginger hair and Eurasure t-shirt as well ... I swear by Basketball by the way, lose weight tone up the more visible muscles and have a laugh while you're at it. I meant not looking like a bald Russel Grant actually.

I'm just being a good boss tbh. One of the lasses in my department was off sick for about 3 weeks recently and has come back and is trying to catch up on her stuff and is floundering. Superscott to the rescue tbh.

I'm in work tomorrow.

Apollo Creed says it in the scene you've just described in Rocky III you plonker Sorry, I couldn't remember that bit. Apollo is nails like. "See that look in their eyes, Rock? You gotta get that look back, Rock. Eye of the tiger, man. Eye of the tiger."

With that sort of inspirational patter, you can be my Mickey.

I'm gonna start doing some exercise like. When I turn up at the summer pissup it'll be like when the Fish turned up that time, only in reverse (ie I won't look like the Goodyear blimp). Think I'll get the bike out this weekend and maybe go for a run along the beach. I'm gonna wear a cropped T-shirt like Sly and Apollo do in Rocky III. "First you gotta get speed, demon speed! Speed's what we need, we need greasy fast speed!"

I'm jealous. I want a weekend in Prague.

Get a grip man, Sammy, we are NOT getting Mourinho.

Can't watch til I get home. What's the business with "yeeeeahhh"? Is he a bit of a Brent or something?

Have a class time, mister.

Lucky Luke.

It's good for taking the piss, but as smiles go, it's fairly insincere.

Your bird has been off sex for months?? Sounds like you need a new one tbh.

Did your doctor fax you a copy marked "URGENT"?

Have you made that up, macbeth? Would be class if that was Owen's response to the fat shit.

Shepherd. Oliver, as much as he would like to think he does, doesn't represent NUFC. Shepherd does, and he has made us a laughing stock. Fucking hell, just to have a professional chairman instead of this crass, fat berk would make all the difference.

Exactly what I've been thinking. We get rid of Roeder, and there's talk of Allardyce and you start feeling that something positive might be happening, then something happens like the comments in the press today, and you remember that this football club is fucked as long as that bloke is in charge of the decision-making. I'd love 5 minutes with the bloke to point out what a fucking incompetent joke he is.