Gemmill

I've started listening to The Rest Is Politics US again, cos this past month, and the grief that Republican representatives are getting when they go back to their constituents, feels like Trump and Musk are doing too much, too fast, and it could be the beginning of his downfall. Which is something I'd like to hear about once a week.

Looking forward to Broccoli Head Jr. Pleased to hear there have been some nice moments for you in a very shitty time. My gran died a year ago, and my mam is taking the house, but it has sat for a year while they sell theirs etc. All of my gran's stuff still in it. Anyway, the time has come in the last month to clear it out, so she's been there with my sister, obviously an unpleasant thing to do, as you'll know. Loads of memories and their entire lives in cupboards and drawers. Heartbreaking shit like taking their dressing gowns off the back of the bedroom door - my granddad had died a few years earlier, but my gran had never wanted to take his down. Anyway, at the back of one of the cupboards was a bag with an old handbag in it, and a note that my Gran had written to remind her that my mam and her (long dead) brother had saved up for weeks to buy this for her when they were teenagers. My mam was in bits, but she also feels like it was her final gift from her mam that she obviously treasured this thing for 60 years, that my mam assumed would have been thrown out years ago.

That'll look nice on your average fan. Like a stripey bin bag full of porridge.

One day soon, you'll have had an argument, and she'll walk past one of your wedding photos in the hall, stop in her tracks, and actually say out loud "Did that cheeky cunt REALLY turn up like that to our wedding? IT'S OVER!" Divorce papers will follow by the end of the day.

I'm pretty sure that the key to success as a business is NOT "become a terrible employer". This is a decent sized effective pay cut for anyone that previously got their lunch from these canteen.

Soup and bread. Nice workhouse vibe to the place. Success will surely follow.

Expect them to rocket up the table now. If you work for Man United, you can be under no illusion the contempt this bloke has for you.

Only cos you waited til you were 60 to get married. Only a matter of time now...

Toonpack, arrest this man.

At least the Ukrainian people will get to see who he really is now. They were on about naming things after him a couple of years ago, when all he was doing was using them to run away from domestic issues and cosplay as Churchill.

Reckons he was wearing a black t shirt with the word KILLER in big white font on it.

My dad bumped in to CT again, and he reckons all CT wanted to talk about was that he was "crushing his 2025 crypto goals".

And I told you. For about the 7th time. You're welcome.

If you'd asked a different question, I'd have answered that, aye.

I didn't do that. You asked me (AGAIN) for an explanation. I gave it to you and in response I got a fucking critique of my explanation. Try fucking remember it this time, CUNTFACE!

Well I've explained the cunt to you multiple times, and you can never remember, so I doubt it.

Nice that I went to the trouble of explaining it to you fucking neckends though, eh. Despite knowing it would be too much for you.

It's just the thing that Matthew Benham and Tony Bloom have made their fortunes from, and the basis upon which major decisions are made at successful football clubs. Nothing for you plebs to worry about. Continue with your "if there'd been another five minutes OMG" disaster scenarios. I'll stick with the stats that don't trouble themselves with minutes that weren't played.

For probably the 7th time.... Take each shot or header with an XG value for both teams. Each shot/header is considered standalone, so a 0.10xg shot, would result in a goal in 10% if the simulations. Run that through a model 10,000 times. Each time you do it, that simulation has a specific match result. Then you multiply out the percentages of the results. So if Newcastle win 60%, draw 30%, and lose 10%, it's: 60% x 3 points = 1.80 30% x 1 point = 0.30 10% x 0 points = 0.00 Total xP = 2.10 It's a good system cos it takes into account quality of chances. If you have a team that has 10 shots on target, all with 0.10xG, you'd expect no goal from those 90% of the time (for each shot). So running that through the model vs a team that had 4 shots each with 0.25xG. Total xG for each team is 1xG. But the model will spit out different results because it considers the probabilities on a chance by chance basis, rather than just adding them up.

3.46 v 2.39 xG.

Expected POINTS.

2.11 v 0.69 expected points from this one. Forest got what they deserved from the game, despite what happened in the second half.

Weren't Jones and Slot both sent off the other day? Do their suspensions come later or has it been overturned because Liverpool.

Too easy this. Need Man City to start kicking lumps out of them.

Makes no difference to the next match COS IT DIDN'T FUCKING HAPPEN. Christ.