Gemmill

My day was ok apart from Hugo and Piers.

I thought this thread was about manc-mag.

Wait....you mean to tell me you were actually socialising with a bloke called Sebastian? Out with Housemate who's girlfriend studies Art... her friends bloke who studies art... nuff said to be fair only way to make it worse would be if it was "History of Art" (can't paint for shit, but I know how old that Athena poster is.) Studying art!? Point out to him that they'll shorten it to Seb on his McDonalds name tag.

Wait....you mean to tell me you were actually socialising with a bloke called Sebastian?

Worst name I've ever heard on a bloke was in Cambridge. My mate was there at University and I went down for May week. They had one of these poncey garden party things going on and this kid walks up in a stripey blazer and hat and introduced himself, in the most plummy accent ever, as Herbie. I nearly spat my drink all over him.

Something has to be done to let the peasants know there's a line that must not be crossed, even if it is only symbolic. I didn't think Piers and Hugo could be any dafter, but economy class Piers and Hugo are dafter; I bet her husband was sat in business class, pissing himself laughing at them, I know I would be. Nah, she kept ringing the dad to report in and tell him how well they were behaving. Then threatening them to ring and tell daddy that they were being naughty when they acted themselves. Judging by their reaction they're about as scared of him as they are of her.

Literally seconds of fun to be had with that.

Teaching the Dutch outfit how to use internet forums? Nice. I've barely been on here tbh! And my wireless didn't work in the hotel room so I couldn't get on to entertain you all of an evening. By the way, if anyone's ever been to Holland - how SHIT are their bikes? Honestly all of the fuckers ride them, and they're all completely shit. The bloke's ones don't even have crossbars ffs. If you turned up on a mountain bike or a BMX they'd think you were from the future. These things are only one step removed from the penny farthing.

You've been DYING to say that since you thought of it on the plane, haven't you? What's are you doing in first class btw? Unless Piers and Hugo were slumming it. I only came up with it as I sat down to start the thread man. It was inspired though, so I can see how you thought it was pre-meditated. Hugo and Piers were slumming it tbh. This company I works for will only pay for economy - it's one of the reasons I'm looking for a new job. I'm all about the business class tbh. It's only the KLM flight from Amsterdam to Newcastle though, so the first 4 seats (which are identical to all the others on the plane) are business class. I was in row 5 (seething with jealousy) and as if to rub it in the stewardess comes along and pulls across a 6 inch high curtain that goes from the top of the chair in front to the ceiling, but only pulls across as far as the seats go. I felt like saying "You do realise I can still see what you're getting up to by looking down the aisle don't you? Bitch!"

Now hey! He never got past me on the stairs, the little prick!

Work. Been in Rotterdam for the past couple of days.

I was almost as annoyed with her as the kids. She kept giving people sheepish looks as if to say "what can you do?". Well you could stop fucking asking them nicely to behave when it's clear it's not working, you dizzy bint. Bollock the fuckers!

Is this why the Legends keep asking everyone that rings in if they've ever had a rocket up their jacksie?

I knew they were posh annoying little wankers before I even heard their names. That was just the icing on the cake tbh. Honestly, if you deliberately wanted to set out to raise a couple of pretentious little twatbags, you couldn't give them a better start than to name them Hugo and Piers.

Just flown back from Holland tonight and had the misfortune of coming across two of the poshest, most badly behaved arsehole kids you could ever wish to encounter. Their mother was a dizzy posh bitch, and the kids were called Hugo and Piers. Yes, I'm not lying - Hugo and Piers. What the fuck two kids called Hugo and Piers were doing flying into Newcastle I have no idea, but fucking hell they were annoying. They started at boarding. This Chinese woman with a baby got called to board first cos she was carrying the baby, at which point Hugo and Piers start screeching "Mummy, mummy, why can't WE get on the plane first! We're children mummy. SHE'S getting on because she has children mummy! Mummy go and see the woman mummy. GO AND SEE HER MUMMY." I'm stood in disbelief looking at this woman take all this shit off these two little toerags and basically negotiating with them by pointing out that the queue is quite short so that they'll let her off with not going and asking the woman if her two little darlings can get on first. Anyway then we get on the bus thing to go to the plane and it's PACKED. That doesn't stop Hugo and Piers swinging from the fucking poles on the bus that people are trying to hold onto with mummy begging them "Please Piers! Stop that! Pleeeeeease! Come on Hugo, mummy's asked you nicely. You're bumping into people. Please darling!" with me fighting the temptation to just turn round and go "HOY! FUCKFACE! PACK IT IN!" We get off the bus and I'm at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the plane door, at which point Hugo decides he wants to be ahead of me in the queue and literally starts shoving me to try and get past. I'm beyond pissed off with dearest Hugo at this point and again I can hear his mam behind pleading with the little twat to wait his turn to get on the plane. Fucking infuriating. I felt like turning round and going "Oi! Fucking HUGO you puffy-named PRICK. If you don't pack it in, I'm gonna throw you backwards down these fucking stairs. And don't even get me started on you Piers you floppy haired little nancy boy - somehow, against all the odds, you've actually managed to end up with one of only a handful of names in existence that makes you look an even bigger ponce than your twat of a brother! :icon_lol: " Anyway, what I actually said was nothing. Perhaps if I had I wouldn't have had to listen to the two little twats hitting each other and singing at the top of their posh whiny little voices for the duration of the flight. TWATS on a plane. I feel better for the rant though.

All over me like a cheap suit to be fair. It was like the night out on The Office, with you taking on the role of Gareth tbh.

Aye I remember that. He was canny old though wasn't he? At least in his 40s.

I imagine you shovel in the water as well you mong!

Genius my arse. The Libertines are pretty much recognised as his finest hour and they weren't even that good ffs.

Good point, at the height of Oasis' fame and success I always thought Liam was a tosser. However, the Liam clones walking about everywhere were far worse. There was even a lad at university who went the whole hog and as well as dressing, walking and having the Liam hair do he even affected a Manchester accent and claimed to be from Hulme. He was talking to me and a mate of mine in a bar once (the mate was a Manc) and he thought there was something amiss with his accent. Turns out he was from Sunderland. What a plonker. He sounds mad fer it!

I've posted in this thread, Parkinson. Calling you lot all mincers!

Great to see the yanks finally waking up. It's just a shame it took two terms of twat boy to do it.

Laz is such a degenerate porn fiend.

Unluckyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

He's a tosser tbh. I don't know him either. I also think Jade Goody is a silly twat but I've never met her. I can't abide Lee Hendrie, but he wouldn't even recognise me in the street.