Gemmill

I propose an outright ban on bad days at the office.

Could we maybe be mourning Jota too?

Aye, I'm sold on this one being a mackem.

He's like a walking, talking tampon at the minute.

WE'VE JUST WON THREE ON THE BOUNCE. No, Howe hasn't lost the dressing room ffs.

Becoming an England regular is the worst thing that could have happened to Gordon. He thinks he's fully arrived. He talks a good game about his ambition and drive, but it's nowhere to be seen when it matters most of the time.

Deja vu. I look forward to another 5th placed finish.

Calm down man. We were shite but we've just come off three wins on the bounce. We'll be fine, Eddie will get it sorted. I don't know what you're on about him using excuses. I've NEVER heard Howe make excuses for anything. Fucking chill out.

Paqueta is a total wanker like.

On the plus side, we've completely fucked West Ham's lock in protest.

There must be a barber near the West Ham training ground doing a cheap deal on cornrows.

SOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOORING.

You're trying too hard now.

I assume we're getting Barnes on the left wing before too long. I wouldn't put Elanga on into this shitshow, his confidence is fucked enough already.

Lads, can you get your heads together and agree who gets to make what joke, please. It's embarrassing when you all make the same one.

How fucking DARE you.

Listen, I know you all like hiding behind your sofas and predicting defeats for every game, but my enormous testicles will simply not allow this of me.

Bit premature, this. Just cos you got HUMILIATED by the Perreira sacking!

We need the proper full backs back, and Wissa to get fit quick smart. Woltemade looks at about 80% and Burn and Krafth are both struggling. Burn getting rinsed by Wan Bissaka, man. I've no idea how Joelinton is walking back into the team. Give Ramsey or even Willock a go. Gordon is so inconsistent it's ridiculous. If he's not bang on it, he's completely shit.

Fuck me.

I don't know how Joelinton has got his place back in the team tbh.

A Pope kick that stayed in play. Unreal.

They were shit at corners when the hopeless Potter was managing them. Looks like Nuno has sorted a bunch of their problems just by being competent. Potter is an absolute disgrace of a manager.

I still think we'll win.

Here he is. Set your watch by him.