Gemmill

Aye fuck these twats getting to the semis. I'm not having it.

Pick that one out Martinez, you prick.

All the lads who've been saying this was going to go on for months and there's no way Trump would take a step back, being sent out on telly to say this was always the plan. There'll be enough fucking spanners to believe it but the world knows that this lot are incompetent on an entirely new level.

How the fuck are Villa ahead in this game.

This is exactly what happened. I was just reading about how a big sell off in US bonds had started, and within hours, Big Nappy Boy had called it off. He's torched the US's reputation as a trade partner and now all his little personal chimney cleaners are on the telly claiming this was the plan all along. He's left himself in a trade battle with China which he will lose, and everyone will turn away from the US. Nice one you fat prick.

My dad reckons he's now wearing a jet black wig, he's bought a Tesla, and he now steeples his fingers when he talks to anyone on the estate.

She was specifically talking about the money she inherited from my gran lads, but THANKS SO MUCH for the finance lessons.

His claim that World leaders have been "kissing his ass". If that was true, he wouldn't have to say it. He's saying it because this is a massive climb down and he has to make himself look a winner in the eyes of his idiot followers. Fucking prick. I cannot wait til he karks it.

90 days of relative calm for everyone to explore trade deals that don't involve the US. The US can clearly no longer be relied on as a trading partner, so it should make fuck all difference to how the rest of the world behaves, other than stopping the madness for a bit.

Russell Martin was interviewed on Lineker's podcast and he reckons Officer Dibble at Southampton is the most talented player he's ever worked with. He came across like a decent bloke actually.

Watching the latest series of Righteous Gemstones and I'm taking the fact that there's a character called Big Dick Mitch as a good omen for the summer.

He's a good player and he always seems to do well against us, and I wouldn't be upset if we signed him for something closer to half that figure. But £100m is about £25m per foot, and that's too much.

That might just be to make him look taller.

I had to explain to my mam this week that she didn't need to worry about her money losing value cos it's with a bank, not in the stock market. But mention Brexit and she thinks she's a fucking world trade expert.

In every other strand of the multiverse Steve Bruce is just a bloke with a big kite who never made it as a footballer, who spends his days in the bookies in stained track b's and walks everywhere with a carrier bag in his hand. Goes to the bingo every night with Janice, but doesn't play, and just stares straight ahead of him with his mouth hanging open. We had to live in the one strand where he's a public figure.

ToonPig! Tooooon pig dot coooom.

Carney wants de facto customs union membership and a trade deal with the EU. With any luck, the world just reorders itself without the US, and they can buy and sell potatoes between themselves and Russia.

Is there anyone that's played for Steve Bruce who doesn't have the surname Bruce that has a good word to say about him? Or that wasn't basically thanking him for sharing the same hobby of laziness, like ASM.

You're fine with Mbewmo. I mean it's wrong but you're all idiots, so it's probably as good as I can hope for. And from an Australian, honestly that is 10 out of 10. Mbwaymo or PL's new Mbueno (I mean for fucks sake) should be banning offences if we sign him. I enjoyed the latest White Lotus btw, don't know what all the whinging has been about online.

I think that has to have just been a form thing. It doesn't make any sense that his delivery is better with his weaker foot.

I don't really want it to happen as long as we get top 5. The most likely team to benefit in that situation would be Chelsea and they can fuck right off with all the blatant cheating they've been doing on PSR.

Sort of don't want it to happen if we finish top 5, but would be an amazing safety net if we blew it. Watching a CL final wishing Arsenal to win would be honking though.

If Arsenal win the CL, does 6th place get CL too cos Arsenal automatically requalify as winners?

If we still need points against Everton, I'll do the match thread. It's the only choice that makes sense.

Canny goal that.