Gemmill

Bob Mortimer recounts an episode from PL's youth. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Sounds like we'd be a bit too far down the pecking order there.

The straight dope from Craig Hope is that Mateus Cunha is a top summer target. He quotes £62.5m as the valuation. He'd be a quality signing but not sure where he fits in to the team. Eddie'll sort it.

I happen to know that you learned to speak English by watching Russ Abbott, and speak speak with a perfect CU Jimmy accent.

"Och aye hen, I dinnae mind admittun that I'm wrang noo and again. But he's a sexy mother fucker right enough, ken whit ah mean? Thanks fer the support big man. Fancy a wee dram?" THE END!

Nothing we didn't know, but what a horrible bloke.

Lascelles has signed a one year contract extension. For essential cup lifting duties.

We should get these exported and exposed on the forum. See who the main grasses are and then kick their fucking heads right off their shoulders.

"yOu haVe mY fUlL SupPOrT¡¡¡"

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6269182/2025/04/10/bournemouth-psr-premier-league-rules/ In which Bournemouth get around a cast iron breach of PSR by writing off a £70+m loan from a shareholder, and treating the write off as income to be offset against its PSR. This isn't a they might have breached or they might not. Take this one transaction out of their calc, and it's points deduction time. The Premier League: ✅ Nothing to see here.

Yeah they did.

We were going to spend 30 on him 2 years ago, weren't we? 40m two years later, when he's realised some of his potential, isn't that much of a premium.

If he's given the option of Chelsea, Man United, and us, and picks either of those two, he's having a shocker. Arsenal seems the obvious place, but they might think they're better than him. No point in going to Man City other than to pick up medals for sitting on the bench.

He'll probably end up at Chelsea.

He's got a £30m release clause which is triggered by relegation apparently (Delap). I wouldn't say no to that.

Tbf I'm sure Streeting is completely unaware of the mad shit being discussed on that group's private Discord forum.

The prospect of Rio with his fucking z-shaped gob becoming a full time co-commentator ffs. Another friend of Man United onto the pile.

Bill Ackman, a billionaire who has been a vocal supporter of Trump, but who turned on him in recent days, has flipped again and is calling Trump the greatest genius of all time after the pause. I assume he was one of the few that got tipped off and dramatically increased his already enormous wealth yesterday. There'll be zero consequences for these individuals but I'm still hopeful that this is the wakeup call the world needed to dial down it's reliance on the US.

Listen, beating PSG 4-1 isn't for everyone.

Get in PSG.

"It's the boy from Buckingham Palace!"

They were certainly more suited to the away leg at Anfield. Absolutely great bunch of lads.

I can't even have them getting to the semis. I have to put my foot down here.

Villa are gonna be fucking wrecked by the time they get through these two legs if PSG keep giving them the runaround like this. Hopefully they're dead on their feet when we play them.