Lazarus

The TV show just started last night. Ah, I'd definitely rather watch a programme about them than read them anyway. I think it's the first thing worth watching on ITV in 7 years. And it's basically a channel 4/5 esque list show. Now that seems quite specific, HF. Almost as if you had another ITV programme in mind that was quite good 7 years ago...failing to see what it could possibly be, since that channel's been shite for pretty much most of my adult life. Random Number. Prisoner Cell Block H was class though. Sharpe was always worth a watch. Missed the recent episodes though. Cant stand that sean bean - worst actor ever. good looking bastid tho You think? Does absolutely nowt for me like Why - back not hairy enough?

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Anne_Robinson

thats always been in the back of my mind tbh. but i tell you what, its weird how inbetween the ages of 20 and 30 my body has completely changed. ive lost any flexibility i had, stamina has gone and obviously my flat stomach has gone. Still got my good looks though apparently you will soon be able to buy those "little blue pills" over the counter so that's your stamina sorted Yoga will help your flexibility and your stomach ...as for the good looks dont need any help in that area tbh. i'm convinced ive got an abnormally high sex drive. theres been many a time ive missed my bus stop through day dreaming and getting a stiffy that i coudnt shift. not so bad now ive got the car.

thats always been in the back of my mind tbh. but i tell you what, its weird how inbetween the ages of 20 and 30 my body has completely changed. ive lost any flexibility i had, stamina has gone and obviously my flat stomach has gone. Still got my good looks though

connecting it to what ??? Your knees big chuckles Big ripples more like..... don't get all "weightist" with me young perv me lad...it's not the Fish your talking to Must admit ive got a bit of a belly at the mo - ate loads of crap over the xmas hols and havnt really stopped havnt been doing me yoga stuff either (sorry catmag )

connecting it to what ??? Your knees big chuckles Big ripples more like.....

connecting it to what ??? Your knees

The TV show just started last night. Ah, I'd definitely rather watch a programme about them than read them anyway. I think it's the first thing worth watching on ITV in 7 years. And it's basically a channel 4/5 esque list show. Now that seems quite specific, HF. Almost as if you had another ITV programme in mind that was quite good 7 years ago...failing to see what it could possibly be, since that channel's been shite for pretty much most of my adult life. Random Number. Prisoner Cell Block H was class though. Sharpe was always worth a watch. Missed the recent episodes though. Cant stand that sean bean - worst actor ever.

Got to admit I am defensive about my weight, mainly cos I've been working so hard to lose it. When Gemmil saw me, I was a chunky fucker, I think he suggested that I resembled a sofa.... It was embarrassing and I'm proud that I've lost weight just would like to prove it to you bunch of utter bastards. Stop biting every time it gets mentioned then He's still not as bad as gemmill though and his reply

I reckon riise will be available in the summer for a knockdown price I know hes had a shite season but i reckon he be worth 3m- 4m or so.

Never had a wank with the dog in the room?

can i say that if the toon went on to win the champions league then im sure we'd all be a touch arrogant.....

but to search for a woman who bears no relation to this list, you'd be better off Unicorn Hunting with a Dodo sidekick. Radgi is spot on actually

Shirley he'd mime and therefore she'd hear bugger all

Bet you were jizzing your pants.

Aye - mate of mine called andrew has his back hair sticking up over the collar of his shirt. its like some wild fucking hedgerow or something.

A guy and his dog go into a barroom. The bartender says, "Hey, get that dog out of here... we don't allow dogs in here." Wait a minute, the guy says, "This is no ordinary dog ! This is 'Plato' the talking dog !" "Yeah, sure" says the bartender. I'll prove it to you," says the guy. "Plato... what's on top of a building?" "ROOF !" says the dog. "Look," says the bartender, "just how dumb do you think I am?" "Wait a minute," says the guy. "Plato, how does sandpaper feel?" "RUFF !" says the dog. "Do I have 'stupid' tattooed across my forehead or something," says the bartender. "Now get that dog out of here! " "Wait.. I'm not through", says the guy. "Plato, who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "RUTH !" says the dog. "That does it !! " says the bartender, and he throws them both out on the street. Outside, the dog looks at his owner and says, "Do you think I should have gone with DiMaggio?"

eyes closed it sounded like 'bar bar.....' eyes open it sounded like 'gar gar.......' is that right? wrong? or am i a mong?

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan. " Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Q. What do you call a Scotsman standing at his front door with one foot inside the house and the other outside the house? A. Hame-ish

i used to go visit relatives by coach and theres nowt like coming into the toon after 2 weeks away via the redheugh bridge

1. Moan 2. Whinge 3. Complain 4. Annoy 5. Cry 6. Sob 7. Whine 8. Gripe 9. Grumble 10. Criticise 11. Argue 12. Disaprove 13. Nag 14. Snivel 15. Be Moody 16. Sulk etc etc etc ......... 50. Get this far without having argued with at least one of the above

never