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Posts
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Everything posted by Smooth Operator
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I thought felching was the practice of putting a small mammal (usually a hamster or ferret) in a sock and putting it up your arse like. Not that I'd know about this or anything.... 86582[/snapback] BUSTED!!! You sick Richard Gere sympathizer!
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Does feltch not mean suck off, as in felatio? Well anyway, he seemed out of sorts when I asked him how his first day went and it was then he revealed he had to suck a goat's todger! Today I dare not ask, after lunch he's pencilled in to have a horse enter him from the rear having already swallowed the muck of a pride of lions in the morning. These bastard split-shifts must be killing him!
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Well I know his brother is locked up at Acklington Prison, perhaps he's wanting to visit his brother on a daily basis? He could sign for Berwick Rangers if this was the case.
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various sorts? like dwarf porn? animal? *gulp* gay? 86525[/snapback] Dwarf porn?? Has Wacky got a new job then? 86526[/snapback] He started yesterday, his first job - he had to feltch a goat!
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Aye, just seen Warren Barton going into the TYne Tees studio's down the quayside.
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Maybe put your knob away? 86478[/snapback] But that would negate the warm DWP welcome I was gonna provide her with!
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You go in to buy some filth and soon end up spending your entire months wages on various sorts of pornography!
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Just had Newcastle Council on the blower at work, they wanted to hand deliver some priority data. This was at quarter to 10, they said they'd be at the main gates to our site at 10 so I went down for then, have waited 25 minutes in the freezing cold and no bastard turned up! I've got icicles hanging from my knob!
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I had the entire collection, and my mother kept the boxes too. But then she decided to give them to my younger cousin and they got destroyed, he liked to burn and chew things. For years after I tried to tell him he should try combining the two and see what happens, he didn't have the jacob's for it though.
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never go out with a loaded gun 86050[/snapback] Aye too risky, it could go off anytime!
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So you can sneak in a sly she-wank then of a morning?
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We all know you've had your brown wings for years now. Chocs away. 85988[/snapback] Mile High Club, reverse thrusters. 85991[/snapback] Aye. bet you've fiddled with many a male flight attendants Frankfurter in the toilets on route to Frankfurt.
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We all know you've had your brown wings for years now. Chocs away.
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Now see this is why I come on here, just to know how much fellow members rub their magic lamps.
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Winker
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You're just a bunch of pedantic nobs tsb.
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turned round and asked me if he gets a mortgage with life cover does he still get the money if he dies. My retort was yes, you can either have in with you in the coffin or they will burn it with you if you get cremated.
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Do you have time in your schedule to annex the Sudatenland? 85273[/snapback] I normally do it on the way to the office. 85276[/snapback] You must take all the overtime you can get what with the cost of reperations and that?
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On 2nd viewing I have scrutinised the candidates in depth and have concluded that I will readvertise the post of secretary as there is insufficient quality on show!
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Do you have time in your schedule to annex the Sudatenland?
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Wahey, like it. It's safe for work in a kind of non safe way! I've just had a gander at it as the Permanent Secretary Leigh Lewis waltz's past my desk.
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If I shower or bathe the night before I don't have one in the morning but that's only if I having given wor lass her medicine. And she likes her medicine every morning so I'm always in the shower first thing, sometimes even treat myself to an after shag wank while I'm there if she doesn't join me in la douche for a secong bash!
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A lad I work with has just told me what has happened to his brother, he works somewhere in North Shields, not sure what the job is exactly but anyway he had his yearly report done and got a glowing one, so on his way out of the office the boss told him he could help himself to some wine as a reward, he took 5 bottles. The same thing was said to another 10 employees who took varying amounts of wine as they were just told they could take some too. A few days later he received a letter inviting him to a disciplinary hearing for gross misconduct. He attended where they proceeded to show him CCTV footage of him helping himself to the wine. He was told he was dismissed and asked to step into an ajoining room. He did so in shock and was greeted by the police who escorted him to the station where he was fingerprinted, charged with theft and detained. The same thing happened to the other 10 people. The boss who had said help yourself to some wine is now denying they said it and if off work with stress convieniently enough! Fortunately the police have seen the connection between the 11 people and have advised it i highly unlikely they'll be prosecuted. What a fucking joke! I'd be sueing the bastard if it was me like.
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Can anyone spot a problem there? 85002[/snapback] Well there aren't any at the minute, nowts been said about my email escapades so far. But thats the way it works here, silence for weeks and then no doubt the week before they get my reference this cunt of a manager starts disciplinary proceedings!
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Notice that SMO conveniently avoids pointing out what time 'the wild thing' commences.... 6.58am? 85111[/snapback] Well I'm awake at 6 she's awake at 5 past after realising she's got a testicular moustache and by 10 past were engaging in the old bump n grind.