Brock Manson

If this is going to be their patter then the pair of them can fuck off for a month! Keep it to pm chaps, this is beyond cringeworthy.

Mackems v Cardiff was only ever going to be 0-0. Two clodhoppers too scared to lose that game.

After not signing any strikers or any other players, with Remy & De Jong being bought by other Prem clubs, we'll re-sign Shola as our only deal in the summer window.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelysanders/make-the-pastry-from-the-grand-budapest-hotel Really want to make this!

We'd never spend the £10m+ Stoke would want for him. Given Colo is off then he'd be coming in as our best CB though.

Not for your arsehole.

Variety is the spice of life.

Robben is such a cheating cath. Does nothing but dive and cut inside.

Regardless of the verdict, the emotional oscars will never heal.

The Grand Budapest Hotel As with any Wes Anderson film, you'll love this if you enjoy Wes anderson films. This one feels the most dolls housey of all of them, but it works. Laughed all the way through, Ralph Fiennes is an uncannily terrific comic actor. I can only think of In Bruges where he's been involved in a comedy film. Superb timing, delivery and some pretty damn good one-liners. 8/10 My personal gripe with the film though is Owen Wilson only got about 5 minutes in the whole thing. Normally Anderson conjures a great dreamlike performance out of him where others just throw him in shite family comedies.

Definite euphemism, like.

There's no right or wrong way to make a beef stew. Well, there is a wrong way if you don't brown the meat first. It gives added colour and flavour. Don't crown the pan otherwise the meat will boil in its own juice rather than start to caramelise.

Only CT could make a salmon dish that looks like someone giving birth to a baby with harlequin ichthyosis.

I like using my santoku knife at home, but a good chef's knife is worth splashing out on. Get a good knife sharpener (whetstone - http://www.globalknives.uk.com/sharpening) and it'll last forever. We have Sabatier knives at work which are pretty good.

"Literally".

Keep us up to speed, Dr.

Hope they find the fucker who hit you, inexcusable. Good to hear that you're ok. You lot should be ashamed - I'm tyred of people making sick jokes.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/3933636/David-Luiz-the-agony-aunt.html You could quote this article as an example of football fantasy.

Is it bad that I just don't care about this one? Can't see past a Hull win.

"You're an inanimate fucking object"

You're doing it wrong.

Pass the shisha.

Too busy sitting in his van listening to talksport whilst billing some old dear £13ph, the illiterate cunt.

Still missed. Still my favourite comedian.

Looks like a young Gareth Bale. Might just be because of the bananas.