Matt

£50 at 100/1. Fingers crossed!

Did a pension scheme last week. Dull as owt.

Make your mark here, addicts.

Shepherd should not be criticised for the timing of Robson's sacking, simply because it wasn't his decision. Anyway, why are we going over old ground? The point in question is what where we need to improve the squad, given our likely transfer budget.

Fullbacks surely also an area of priority. But surely you'd admit we've lacked squad depth this season? We'll not just be looking for first-teamers next summer but trying to find the right backup players too (which will most likely either be hopeful youngsters looking to break through or the odd player who is capable in the occasional game but whose best days are maybe a couple of years behind him). The relatively small squad will prove a bonus in the summer because we won't have the kind of problems with the colossal mediocrity-filled squads that Gullit or Dalglish left behind.

What I would like to see from the board is not simply megabucks to be spent on players. For one reason or another we have seen very little back on the £25m spent on Owen and Luque. We should be looking at how some of the 'lesser lights' of this league have seen better return on their investment. We seem to think it as a slight on how the club is perceived to sign a player for peanuts when a more glamourous opportunity arises. We always try to sign players who could potentially play for us for 5 or more years. It's a lovely idea but football changes so quickly that such plans are optimistic at the best. There are a lot of decent pros available who could do a job for a couple of seasons. If we can blend these steady heads with younger players and a 'spine' of top quality players, then we will see more success on the pitch than we have in the last couple of seasons.

Just get him to do that round Gemmill's house and he'd feel the wrath 115181[/snapback] That wouldn't work. Gem ain't got a bog, just two baths. That's why he never ever misses.

They can go down next season.

I'd best dig up that Steve and Meenz shagfest thread and see if there's any sloppy seconds.

Might just be me, but I'm friends with quite a few lasses I knew from uni and have known for ages. Doesn't mean I suddenly want to knob them. Jeez, I guess that makes me a gay. Anyway, this guy does seem a bit crazy. He's probably living in a bit of a fantasy world- especially if his family is going through a bad time with the business- he'll be looking to cling on to any source of joy. It might have always been the 'big plan' that he would get involved in the business and he's substituting it with the other 'big plan' that him and your missus could be together someday. It doesn't sound like the sort of situation where his intentions are entirely pure. Equally, that doesn't make this guy evil. If he's having a tough time, acting the hard guy or having a real go at him will only be seen as kicking a vulnerable individual, which probably won't go down will with the missus. Obvious answer but you're going to have to talk about it with her. Admit you're concerned about this guy's intentions, say you understand that his head might be a bit messed up right now but you're not entirely comfortable with the way things are. You're allowed to be. The fact you are worried is not about tribal pride, but the fact that you value your relationship and wouldn't want something or someone to damage it.

Smashing game.

"Go on then, Alan, it does say to kick him"

That's why the after-show party that is wringing is utterly essential. Some lads take it too far. There's a dividing line between 'getting rid of the drips' and 'bashing the bishop'

Them urinal cakes are a lark an all. Although some places have that plastic thing over the plug- like the sort of thing that you had to put into the top of a spin dryer. Absolute splashback-based disaster when one of those is involved. Unless you're Dead Eye Dan over there and can aim it through the eye of a needle. New DVD coming out soon "Bend it like Gemmill" Advanced pissing techniques for those who want to wow the ladies.

Can't say I have. Should get 10 bonus points on "I Spy While Pissing" for that one. Also, 5 points for managing to move a clip-on bog freshener more than quarter of the way round the bowl.

Only time I've pissed in a non-toilet area would be when out walking, when there's little other option. That and the sink in my room in my first year at Uni. Middle of the night, still half-pissed and bursting? It was a godsend.

I have to say I can't imagine not cleaning up something on the bog. That's just rank. The worst miss you can have is if some should fall under Bog Seat Bridge, requiring absorbent material to reside therein for more than just a moment, so that all of the wayward projective be gathered for disposal.

Not to Gem. He's the best pisser there is. Nothing can stop him finding his target.

Honest, it was one of these shite chipboard panel efforts and you could see where the inondation had reached levels beyond the saving of some quick andrex-aided rescue mission. Floor was sorted with a lick of paint like. I can't believe you never ever miss. I'm not talking about idly standing while unleashing the amazon onto floor for a full minute, but even the odd splash while half asleep on a monday morning is surely not unreasonable? Maybe it's all the chocolate you eat, you greedy bastard

Hark at Mr Hand-Eye Co-ordination there.

Our old bathroom carpet was rancid. As was the floorboard beneath it! Now all sanded down and splashproof lino fitted. That doesn't spare the skirting boards from the odd splash though.

As long as you're on a lino or tile floor. The problem arises with carpet-based bathrooms, even if you mop it up there's still gonna be a bit left over on there.

The reason is usually anatomical, although the nightmare scenario is when you wake up with half-dead arms and bursting for a piss, hoping that your control will be back online before you arrive at the bowl.

Cheeky bastard! And you are giving the long bar too much credit by referring it to a 'club!'.