Craig

Yep, I heard the breaking news of this on Virgin Radio about ½ hour ago... I sincerely hope Liverpool don't go for him - we may not be his first choice but given that he has an emotional pull to Liverpool and absolutely no connection with us, I really couldn't give a shit about that! He'd be a massive hit here, and a massive addition to our squad... I've got everything bloody crossed hoping that this happens!

A German guy approaches a prostitute and says "I vish to buy sex vit you" "OK" says the girl, "I'll charge 100 dollars an hour" "Ist goot, But I must varn you, I am a little kinky" "No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky" So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs." The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans and knees." She duly does this, balancing on the springs "You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you." She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath. Finally she gasps "That was totally amazing....... what do you call that?" "Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique"

Sorry, I worded that all wrong... I didn't necessarily mean Souness himself opening contract talks with a player, what I meant was Newcastle United as a club in discussions with another club about purchasing their player. Souness expresses the interest, talks open and then FFS kills any deal late on... It's fucking stupid IMO!

The thought of who we would persuade replace Graeme Souness (at ANY time of the year, I hasten to add...) scares the living shit out of me! Souness is NOT the right man for us, you'll not find me disagreeing there, but the root problem is way above him! Given our current status and the apparent desire for our chairman to build up the hopes of his manager by looking to commit to a deal only to renage on it at the last moment when the finer points are being sorted, confirms to me that there would not be many who would be interested in the position, and certainly not one who would be the significant improvement that many on here think would be forthcoming... There are press rumours that Souness and Shepherd have come to blows - I'm not fucking suprised! If I was brought in to do a job, have a carrot dangled in front of my nose (more than once) and then whipped away at the last minute, I'd be pissed about it as well! We have a chairman who is not seeing the bigger picture - he's pulled out of deal after deal this summer when it appears a player has an interest in joining the club simply because, in his words, he 'won't be held to ransom!'. Which right-minded half decent player is going to be interested in joining us now when it appears that the chairman seems keen to get their hopes up about a deal only to pull the plug at the last minute? Tactically Souness is shite - totally agree! In terms of his transfer dealing, particluarly this summer, he has not gone that far wrong! He has been interested, and opened negotiations with quite a few players we've all said that we'd love to see at SJP and who we think will improve the team. Then he's gone to Mr Shepherd for the cheque and is told he can't have it!! He's sold players which has brought in (some) transfer funds and vastly reduced the wage bill and still the purse strings are being drawn... The way I see it, you could put Jose Mourinho in the manager's seat and, so long as the chairman remains and has the same stance, we won't improve.... First and foremost, this club needs investment in the playing payroll = without it ANY manager hasn't got a snowball's chance in hell!

Can't disagree with what you've put there.... I'm basing my opinions of Emre and Parker on the two games we've seen so far - Parker is solid and I think will serve to protect the back four with the end result that I don't think we'll conceed as many as we have done previously and Emre appears to be like a bundle of energy which chases everything. Over time things may appear different but that's how I see it now. Boumsong is a marked improvement on what we had and, Woodgate (when fit) excepted, I think is the best central defender that a Newcastle United manager has bought since KK bought Philippe Albert over 11 years ago. Moore hasn't played for us yet, so I'll reserve judgement on him until he does so. Just because a player is gash at one club, doesn't mean he automatically will be at another - JDT is a prime example of that!

How about we start making paper airplanes?

Obsessed!

Should we have a petition to ban the petitions?

To be fair (and I know I'm going to be challenged on this) Craig Moore is yet to feature in a competitive game for Newcastle United.... I agree in that I am far from impressed of what I've seen of him previously, but then I also thought Craig Bellamy wasn't much use when we coughed up £6m for him.... Lets see what he is like when he plays for us and THEN pass judgement on Souness's decision to buy him... Faye and Babayaro I'll give you - crap signings, but on the other hand I think Boumsong, Parker and Emre are awesome players...

If we went up we just wouldn't have ended up with Keegan and everything that happened. I know what you're saying, but without that game things would be alot dfferent! 16128[/snapback] OK PL, I get where you're coming from with that but then we could say that about many games.... What if we'd won at Anfield and Ewood Park in 1996? What if we'd beaten Partizan Belgrade in the CL qualifier?? I think the present outcome would have been very different had we done so!

How many times....? I would never go into a game hoping that Newcastle would lose - put forward all the 'pie in the sky' hypothetical situations you like, I still say the same....

In fairness, we can't really use the play off defeat as an example of a turn around.... SJH had been trying to get control of the club over 3 years prior to that game, and he didn't actually manage it until 18 months afterwards... Sure, the game was within that period, but it was hardly a turning point. We started the 1990/91 season as one of the favourites to go up - we finished mid-table. Hardly a turn around at that point....

I can't comprehend the idea of any Newcastle fan wanting their team to lose, end off.... I've sat and watched some dross in my time (most notably the relegation season of 1988/89) and no matter how much I despised the management at the time and thought that their ejection would be in the best interests of the club, I went to all the games that season hoping that Newcastle would win.... Personally I think even if we replace Souness, the problems will exist (if not actually be worse). The main problem is further upstairs - we have a depleated squad and the chairman seems reluctant to cough up to improve it. We all know we could have had Boa Morte and Anelka by now, we all know they'd have improved the team and we all know that Souness wanted them.... Why haven't we got them? Cos Freddy Shepherd won't pay for them! That's the problem - it's no use pulling the weeds out if you're gonna leave to roots in place...

Do you agree with him then Skol?? I'm with Cath on this one - why would any fan of the club hope that we'd lose?? I can't get my head around it 16098[/snapback] No, I don't agree although I know a few people who would. I don't want to see us lose but I understand the reasons as to why certain supporters do. 16106[/snapback] Well I can't, and I'm gob-smacked people can understand it... Say we lose our next two games and Souness goes, in comes Peter Reid!! We lose 70% of the remaining games of the season and end up relegated - do you think these people still would be glad the hoped we'd lost those two games?? I can understand people wanting Souness replaced, I cannot for the life of me understand why a Newcastle United fan would want us to lose - for ANY reason!

And how many of us went into those games hoping we'd lose....? BTW, we beat the Mackems in 1991/92, I think you must be referring to the play off semi-final which was 2 years prior to that!

Do you agree with him then Skol?? I'm with Cath on this one - why would any fan of the club hope that we'd lose?? I can't get my head around it

Welcome aboard.... Our resident badge creator is on his hols so you'll have to make do with an NUFC one for the time being but I'm sure you'll have a shiny new Leeds one in a couple of weeks....

Have to agree with you there, but he was a very smooth driver, also extremely clever on and off the track. Couldnt stand him myself. But then i was all for Senna, still the greatest driver ever imo. 15298[/snapback] He was a knob who won 3 of his WDCs by virtue of the fact that his car was either streets ahead of his rivals or that they suffered bad luck... The only one that was deserved was 1989 when he defeated Senna. Jesus Christ if it hadn't been for politics, the rare blowing up of a Renault engine and a tyre blow out, Damon would have beaten him to the 1993 WDC in his debut year - says a HELL of a lot! The man was, and still is a cock!

So true. Remember him spinning off in the wet on the warm up lap? 15294[/snapback] Which one...? Monaco 1984, Estoril 1985, lImola 1990, Brazil 1993, Donnington 1993.... All races where he showed his complete fucking stupidity behind the wheel just cos it was raining! (I think the warm up lap incident was Imola 1990 from memory!)

Agreed!

WTF is this? Pick a card, any card time?? We won't buy a striker before the end of the month, I'm almost convinced!

If you're inviting Alain Prost then you'd better invite me more that Ayrton Senna if you want to see sparks flying Jumped up shitty tit - could drive a formula one car so long as it was dry, then he was shitter than Bridget!

You see, this is what happens when a male goes near a household appliance, its alien territory (if you're female, i take that back) 15189[/snapback] How bloody sexist! 15215[/snapback] yep but so true! and i can set the video timer 15219[/snapback] Guess what? I can operate a washing machine 15220[/snapback] Guess what, my missus can't! Nor the iron (unless you want your clothes scorched!)

You see, this is what happens when a male goes near a household appliance, its alien territory (if you're female, i take that back) 15189[/snapback] How bloody sexist! 15215[/snapback] yep but so true! and i can set the video timer 15219[/snapback] How about in the days BEFORE VideoPlus??

You see, this is what happens when a male goes near a household appliance, its alien territory (if you're female, i take that back) 15189[/snapback] How bloody sexist!