The Fish

Silky was very funny thursday night and I introduced myself and thankfully wasn't totally embarrassed. He mentioned that you had mentioned that I had mentioned that he was mentionable, an unbelievable amount of mentioning if you ask me. so I'm on his mailing list, guess that means we're friends and that he'll not mind if I crash at his place for a while... Robin Ince was also extremely funny, with perhaps the most polite retort to a heckle I've ever seen. Well it was a retort directed at two lads who were talking to the side of the stage, so not really the most polite retort to a heckle, but a polite "shush" at the very least. Silky was honest enough to admit that a lot of the material he used would be the same as the stuff that he used three weeks earlier, but to be fair to him I don't think he actually repeated a lot, he simply chatted and despite his claims tot he contrary he seemed to be making a lot of the stuff up, or at least just letting his mouth do the talking.... well that's a rediculous thing to say but I hope you get my point. he mentioned something about a mackem hypnotherapist and made sure to mention that geordies and mackems should never mate, which I (if no-one else) found Very amusing, I hope he appreciated the hearty guffaw I uttered as much as I appreciated his joke. I like to think he did. anyhoo bedtime.

should buy a Xbox360

Well the pint would be the best thing, there is a pretty good gyarantee that you'll have a good night I'd not bother with the girl, if she plays hockey she'll have no teeth and be bigger than you. the silly ice hockey game will be silly and not really worth it, so it's the pint for ye m'laddio and don't forget to get your mother her prezzie

does giving money to someone who is asking for it, truly a random act of kindness? I wouldn't have thought so

will be haunted by the ghost of Gary Glitter once the nonce dies.

's theme tune goes "FUCKTAAAAAARD FUCKTARD, munununuh nuhuh FUCKTAAAAAARD FUCKTARD, munununuh nuhuh" ... cos he's a fucktard

I walked into a bar to "Little Green Bag" once so cool especially as I had pushed open both doors. I couldn't help but strut and loadsa people looked and I reckon at least 1 one of them didn't think I was a total loser. ....good times.

I can't be the only one who wants to walk into rooms to the 20th Century Fox fanfare. oh, actually I want mood music, the Vader theme when I'm all stern and menacing, the 20th Century Fox theme when I'm walking into a room, Bacvk in Black when I walk into a bar and Wa Wa Wa Waaaaaaah every time I drop things, oh and a Rimshot everytime I make a pun.

types and thinks too quickly for my good. I'm gonna have to put a speeding restriction on you.

couldn't be less of a fucktard anyone needing a definition of fucktard would do well to use Sammynb as an example.

should know she used the word "fucktard" because it was apt as a descriptive term for Sammynb

should tell Sammy that he seems to be forgetting that the consensual act of buggery between two men is homosexual. he should also realise my mirth at being accused of homosexuality on one day and homophobia on the next. he's a silly silly little ozzie hippy

makes Gay jokes. and contributes in no other way to society. thereby perpetuating the stereotypical antipodean characteristic

what do you get if you cross a donkey's heart and half an onion? a piece of ass that'll make your eyes water

I think he'd be confused if I said "Hey, Lou says hi" I think he'd probably look at me as if I was just caught rummaging through his trash sporting an erection

if proven right, will become my sage and will be bugged at all times of the day for information and advice so as to make my life one of helth wealth and happiness

is wrong, cos one time I found a twenty pound note in m y jeans pocket just before I put them into the wash. With that £20 I went out and "Knew" a girl that I was hankering after!

yeah I'm going to watch him at the Library, £5 entry, lagers pretty cheap and the totty quota is satisfactory for a lecherous old man like me. it's always been a career I'd love to have the ability to do well. There's nowt better than making people laugh well... making people from mud and clay like god did... that's be pretty sweet, but I think he cheated a bit with women, it's easy to make lumps and bumps with clay, much harder to make a square shaped bloke and yes before people ask I do hang around with the Mr Men. except mr Tickle, he has a restraining order and a curfew

should realise I pursue them so that I can herd them into a large pen and drop a mother-in-law joke at one end, then record how long it takes to travel to the other side.

doesnt try to

don't trust anything that changes the set rules of language at whim. "I'm off to the pub for a few beers, dunno when I'll be back, is that cool?" -I'm going to go and get quite drunk, come home smelling of kebab and smoke, then try to cop a feel with you in bed- "Yes" -=Translation unclear, there follows a sample from the infinite permutations possible=-: Yes No I hate you for taking my leniency for granted I am truly ok with this and will not be too disgusted with your amorous advances later on You bastard, you slept with a friend(who I don't really like but I will imply that we are like sisters so as to further your punishment.) five years ago when we were having one of our break up fortnights I am going to fuck....you.....up I'm not really listening because some talentless shite is on tv making a million off saps like me who are content to perpetuate reality tv because it keeps my dream of shaking my wobbly arse on tv gaining the love and respect of all the famous people who I try to live my life through. I'm not really listening because I want an excuse to be mad at you later to cover the fact I'm actually just a stroppy mare I'm sleeping with your dad and he's better in bed than you I'm sleeping with your sister and she's better in bed with you I'm sleeping with the dog As soon as you leave I'm going to let this fart out, I swear my guts are screwed up tighter than your wallet You forgot our anniversary again you feckless prick Did I leave the gas on..... no The sooner you leave the sooner you come home to me sweety Yeah that's fine, I'm going onto the internet to talk to people I've more in common with Jumanji is on later Shoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoes Do rednecks really have Rednecks and if not why are they called rednecks -=list incomplete=-

An Email from a very bored friend... I know the first bit is old, but the second bit made me chuckle.

Why does he have a Beak, a Plane wing on his right and a Giant's Penis on his left? I'm a bit disappointed the 24hr automated videostore round the corner from mine is broken.. I was going to rent Goodfellas* but because them fangled fancy machines are bust I have to settle for a dvd I already have... and I've watched all of them. Which I suppose is obvious as I'm the owner, but I've watched them all too recently to have a second sitting so soon. I know I could download Goodfellas* and watch it, but that might take too long... I could of course simply go to sleep, but I'm far too pleased with myself for getting my report in ahead of schedule. This of courese means I've got a fortnight or so, with no actual work to do for Uni, but that's better than the Medics in my house who have to memorise the muscles in your arm and the bones in your hand.. they've made up rhymes to help them, but when I was listening it sounds more like they're just reading a couple of pages from the FPA thread. anyway I've wittered on long enough for the kettle to have boiled so I'm going to the kitchen. P.s. I used tot hink I shouldn't keep a blog cos IU'd have nothing to write most days... and yet I fill this thread with enough shit to keep farmers in potatos for years! *Madagascar

the third one is pretty fugly to be brutally honest speaking of Brutal I was watching Bruce Lee on 5 this weekend.. I'd love to see that guy work in a modern movie, with the angles and choreography possible it would be .. unfeasible. no wirework though.. God help you if I find any wire work.

Black Rebel Motor Club- As Sure As The Sun- B.R.M.C Over-Hyped, but still occassionally worth a listen.