The Fish

I think we need to buy for the 1st squad at; CF(£20m), LW(£15m), #10(£20m), CM (£15m) =c£70m Cover for CM, LB, RB = c£15m

We come up quite a bit, even when we're not a car-wreck. They do seem to try and balance how often they talk about the big clubs, whereas the other pods will happily spend ten minutes talking about Man Utd, Liverpool and Arsenal every fucking episode.

No worries, I'll send you an audio file of me talking about it for you to listen to in the bath. I warn you though, I tend to ramble on and don't get to the point as quickly.

I do, and settle in for an hour or so as I explain why that shows a lack of intelligence on their part.

It's just bizarre. I think it's because we both use long words and have a tendency to write longer posts than they like. Unfortunately for them I don't think a considered point can be put across in three words and a smiley. It winds them up so much though, I'm baffled as to why they don't ignore me? Instead they swarm onto any thread I've posted something in, eager to tell me a) how they think I'm obsessed with Sunderland, 2) how I'm actually you and iii) how my posts are too long. a) I'm not 2) I'm not iii) they are That Zig81 bloke is the worst of the lot, I swear he spends more time calling other people names than actually talking about Sunderland. Off the top of my head he'll be; an overweight taxi driver, probably served in the military, voted Brexit to stop immigrants but definitely isn't a racist, thinks he's a hard man and that it matters, enjoys those football hooligan movies, hasn't got a problem with "poofters" but thinks it's unnatural... Y'know, a cunt.

To be honest I can't be bothered with The Times podcast, the Independent podcast, or the Totally Football show either. All spend most of their time talking about the same teams, raking over the same trash tabloid stories. I don't care about Mourinho's latest outburst, or if Arsenal fans want Wenger out this week or not. Prefer Football Ramble, and Not the Top 20.

If they're that keen, can't they just appeal to mackem twitter? They shouldn't use the #FTM hashtag though, that is the hashtag used by member of the trans community who're transitioning or have transitioned from Female To Male.

Been watching "The Defiant Ones" on Netflix, which has sent me spiralling into a Jimmy Iovine album love-in.

Takes longer to whip off the jeans than it does the joggers. So if I get randy I can quickly limp to my masturbatorium and knock one out. A little Barry White on Spotify, Lavender candles lit, one fist full of the Brigadier and the other round the throat of a dead seagull.

I want to build one of those. With a BBQ, pizza oven, normal oven couple of prep areas, shelves for stuff.

A film I can watch safe in the knowledge I won't have to explain it, that bottle of wine we were saving for a special occasion....Jeans swapped for joggers, just in case the mood takes. Glorious

I'm ok with that, my humour has a built in quality-of-audience filter.

Did nobody get it? the photo had a filter that made it look dead old... I thought it was obvious.

I've not heard of any Newcastle fans actually bothering their arse to attend a game there, wasn't it just a rumour on RTG? To be fair you'd have to be a bit empty to want to, imo.

Christ alive was that Methuselah's favourite joke?

I think my post was too subtle for some of you dull witted simpletons.

My next purchase after that was pizza and wine, then a comic book movie. This is the 2nd big life event I celebrated on my own while she's off celebrating with her sisters.

Crikey, how long ago did you take them?

He fucking wasn't like.