David Kelly

I don't think many think we will start the season with this squad but the fact that we've allowed the squad to get to this stage is enough to make anyone more than a touch concerned. The squad's infinitely weaker than it was when we sold Carroll, Barton & Nolan. We were relegated with a miles better sqaud than this. But like Trophyshy says, it's all about gallows humor. That's what gets us through.

He would be in keeping with our most recent signings. Average.

I noticed in the reports of us being in for this Jorman striker that they're saying that his team want £10m and we're hoping to get him for £7.5m. I've got no idea of what his like (his stats for last season are very good) but does any of our scouting of players include any investigation of what the club will want to sell the player any more? It just seems we are always miles off in valuations these days.

Our two best players and only real goal threat from last season has now gone (along with our only other fit senior strikers). If it hadn't been for how those two players lifted us in the first half of last season our form without them in the second half would have certainly seen us relegated. On that basis, without some serious investment into the team, I can say with absolute certainty that we will be relegated next season. If we sign some first 11 players it could be a different story, but given our transfer policy appears to be bidding well under the market value for our targets and hoping we can get a bargain, I'm far from convinced that will happen.

Ooh I could just fancy a Toblerone. I'll have some of my other favourite Columbian to surpress that though. My own contribution to the fight against child slavery!

Haha most definitely the latter. Tino as my avatar and Marvin currently playing on youtube!

Rather than flags I've went for one of my two favourite Columbians. It was an easy choice between the two as white power isn't very photogenic!

Words seriously fail me.

That's a level of backwards that I never thought I would see from anyone (even one of those tramps). Like HF says, he had so many opportunties to stop before that got onto the net and yet he still thought it was a good idea. I bet he's so proud of himself for it too!

This is our transfer policy now is it not? I would suspect Mbwia's (and Cisse latterly) lack of success will reinforce it even more.

Reet, that's me in.

Shite

I'm up for this. I'll chuck the money in tonight when I get in.

Aye, I think there will still be quite a few people who are against him after the gestures but I think that splendid peice of makem propeganda will get a lot of people back on his side. Personally I can't understand how any Geordie could score for the tramps against us (let alone celebrate) but I'm certainly not going to let that turn me against him. I suspect that will happen when he's trying to play as Cabaye's replacement and is proved to be no where near good enough. You never know though, he may just be here to add to the squad and we'll have the big signings in before the season starts too. Not holding my breath though.

Young Ones, Filfthy Rich & Catflap, Comic Strip, Bottom, New Statesman & Blackadder, the man was a comedy genius. RIP

Terrifying prospect but I agree with you. The club has zero ambition at the moment and this fits perfectly. I have serious doubts that we ever had any intention of really signing Cabella with the amounts that we're supposed to have bid.

Vukic even struggled to get a game in that league! I've no confidence at all in out ability to bring a young player through with our current coaching staff.

So it's safe to say we're all excited about this signing then?

Ryder (I think) in the Chronicle was saying the other day that he would be part of the development squad on the fringes of the first team. Exactly who he'd be on the fringes of is anyones guess considering Cisse is the only senior striker we have and he's injured until god knows when.

I think it's a dead cert that the players I mentioned will leave (assuming we can find someone to match their wages and someone who's stupid enough to take Obertan off our hands) but I do actually think there is a reasonable chance of Krul staying. It's certainly not impossible that Krul will want to be away too mind and if a good offer does come in I've no doubt we would accept it.

If you look at our likely first team with what we currently have less the players who are almost certain to go (Ben Arfa, Debuchy, Mbiwa, Squidward, Marveaux, Tavernier, Vukic) then we are in very deep shit and it's understandable that people are getting increasingly dramatic. By my reckoning that would leave us with a team for the start of the season of; Krul Santon Colo Williamson Haidara Sissoko Anita Tiote Sameobi Gouffran Armstrong Subs Elliot Saylor Raylor (assuming he's fit by then) Dummett Abeid Campbell Cisse (from what I can gather he's likely miss at least the first couple of months) Clearly that team would get relegated. Of course I'm not suggesting that is the team we will actually go into the season with but looking at that it's no wonder there's a lot of concern.

Aye I got Jojen straight away. I knew that nights watch bloke who went mental at crasters was in The Dark Night Rises but I didn't know about Joffery. Of course the Old Bear was Renton's dad in Trainspotting as well and Connor McCloud's cousin in Highlander. And Maester Aemon is Grouty in Porridge.

I'm would have been happy to give up the boobs for a bit to have a more important scene tbh. I know what you're saying about translating the book fight to the screen but I still think it could have been shown better.

I'd picked up that he was in Indiana Jones but I'd totally missed that like.