ChezGiven

Have another wank.

Just going back to what alex and Leazes said to us earlier (i've been thinking about it) about giving Ashley the benefit of the doubt. Whatever it is that is in doubt... Its not that hard to say ok am prepared to see what happens in the summer , we're sitting 9th in the league and progress on the pitch since relegation has been obvious. During this time he's made loads of decisions that have pissed people off on the basis of what they thought they meant for the future of the club. People have a right to trust this instinct as it grew from Keegan and the subsequent relegation. However, since we went down, he has got some things right, whether by default or luck, its not clear. His decision to leave Hughton in charge instead of Shearer paid off but like 99% of posters on here at the time, clearly didnt rate him as a long term solution. The decision to replace him was fucking out of order given what he had done for us but since then its fair to say Pardew has done ok. Certainly not a fuck up yet and could well be an improvement as a manager. The transfer window last January was a success with the players coming in visibly improving us and our results/performances. Last summer's window was a mixed bag but if Ben Arfa had stayed fit, i dont think 2 players of such technical quality have ever been signed at those prices (relative) in my lifetime in just one transfer window. Maybe a couple of decent windows in the 90s but hey, that was the peak for the club in 50 years. The sale of Carroll was baffling against this apparent upward trajectory. Its a bit one-eyed to say that the success is just a fluke and he has been aiming lower as though Carroll leaving is just a re-callibration of where he wants the club to be. Stevie, who hates Ashley's guts more than most, thinks £35m was too good to turn down. I wish he had stayed for all sorts of daft reasons. Anyway since then, it seems he has rode his luck again. Maybe he told Pardew to leave him out against Wigan, West Ham, Sunderland, Spurs to see if the club could survive until the summer with his loss (the ITK on Pardew seemed to think that him being able to sell players close to Hughton was a factor, however that makes Pardew a scarily good liar). Or maybe he saw the club go unbeaten for 4 tough games without him and pick up 8 excellent points and this gave him the confidence to sell him. Maybe he didnt want to replace him in January because of the market issues and the bad bargaining position. With people happily predicting 50 points without Carroll, i have to say it looks like he got that right too, didnt he? Since 50 points is better than you ever dreamt 5 months ago? I do massively take on board alex's point about not getting carried away by half a decent season but do the events of the last 2 seasons tell us to trust our fears? We've all been very wrong 2 seasons in a row. No one really thought we would walk the championship, no one thought we would be 9th in February, no one knew where the goals were going to come from. We keep doing better than we expect to do. Maybe there's something in that... So its not that hard given these positives to say well aye go on then, lets see how we do in the summer. It was always going to be a transitional season so next summer was always going to be the litmus test for the future. I reckon the odds are slightly against it but a possible scenario goes, nearly 50 points, £10m on a striker, some reinforcements and no one leaves. Thats still possible isnt it? I think everyone involved in the club from the players, the coaching staff to the fans will be fucking fuming if the summer doesnt bring top quality additions to the first 11 and squad.

Nae offence to anyone like but all discussion of Shepherd etc just distracts us from the real questions.

ah. There was a time when we said someone wasn't for sale and they weren't. In fact, nobody bothered trying to buy our best players because they knew they wouldn't be sold. Or because they were under-performing mercenaries? must be nice living in a make believe little world like you do Best players not for sale? Woodgate was our best defender and he was sold, so was Bellamy and Andy Cole wasnt too shabby either. Every player is for sale if the price is right. You think Man U wanted Ronaldo to go? If a player gets a whiff of more money and a better lifestyle or to play in the champions league then their head is turned and when a club makes a top offer then its bye-bye regardless who the manager/chairman is. The measure of the club is who replaces the sold player so we need to wait and see who comes in the summer. oh fucking hell. Do bugger off man. Footballers are always leaving clubs, everywhere, but the top clubs replace the odd quality player they lose with another of the same calibre in the managers opinion and allow him to continue to attempt to improve the team with the cash from the sales. This is kids stuff. How much longer does this need to be explained ? How many idiots are there in this world ? Thats what I said, It depends who the replacements are although in your book if we dont get Ronaldo,Tevez and Xavi then we are not ambitious enough. The reality is we are where we are at the moment and if we get players like Tiote or Jose who may have the ambition to play in the champions league or challenge for the title then thats the reality. Football has changed and we have no chance of top 4 even if we spend a fortune. We should aim for a top 6/7 spot and win a cup and play some European football in the Europa league. As long as those that leave are replaced with players who have something to offer and not just shite or so called big names then so be it. Or are you so deluded you think we should be spending 30mil on a player and 100k pw on wages?? your first line is bollocks. For starters, if we signed any one quality footballer, would Carroll have left, and would we be talking about the possibility of Enrique and Tiotte leaving ? My guess is both these players would be first in the queue to sign extended contracts. Secondly, no person turned their noses up when we signed the likes of Shearer, Ferdinand, Ginola, Woodgate, Speed, Dyer etc etc bleating on about the club heading towards administration. I agree that if the 35m quid is invested in footballers the manager decides will give us a better team than the one we had with Carroll in it, it should prompt a re-think about Mike Ashley and his ambitions for the club, but it won't. The waft of 80k per week was enough to tempt Carroll and if you think any signing would have convinced him to stay I would say you are wrong. As for Jose and Tiote, I said if they want to challenge for a title or play champions league, so Man U, Chelsea,City or Arsenal not to mention Spain,Italy etc. If any top clubs come in for ANY of our players then they will go if they want to and its up to Ashley to get a deal thats right for NUFC and to re invest it. I wasnt bleating when we had those players but no one had any idea how fucked the clubs finances were on the back of it all as for your final point, could I borrow your crystal ball please The Carroll issue and the fact Ashley should've had a look at the books aside, I think Happy Face has shown that Ashley could've spent less than the relegation cost him by handing KK a canny bit of money to spend as he chose. That's what sticks in my throat when you get the lines trotted out about how much of his own money he's spent. The media seem particularly blind to this so it's no wonder fans from NUFC and other clubs don't pick up on it much. He's a shit owner as manc-mag points out, he no longer gives a shit about the fans its just business. He's fucking stupid, without doubt for the reasons you just point out. My question is, whats his business? Where is he trying to take his investment? I obviously dont know but then i dont even really know what the doomsday scenario is either that is getting put forward. His greatest crime is settling for less than we can acheive but then thats settling for less than his investment can acheive. If he sells Enrique and Tiote this summer and we fall back to the bottom of the league and out, it makes him an idiot as its his investment that suffers. What i find the hardest to understand is that in the 12 games to go thread, people are happily predicting 50 points. There is a disconnect in logic in all of this. Not sure he knows tbh. Or rather I would guess it's extremely fluid, depending on how the mood takes him. I think we've performed above expectations already this season like, almost no matter what happens here on in. That's no guarentee were good enough to stay up long term with the set of forwards we've got though. Especially if the next 12-18 months were to see Tiote, Ben Arfa and Enrique follow Carroll out the door. Basically what I'm saying is, don't get carried away with a good first season back up as I think the way he's running the club will see more bother in the future. It's not like we're going to unearth local players and sell them for massive fees very often, so it's not sustainable in that sense. Whether the Tiote and Ben Arfa signings are representative or fortunate is another matter but hopefully are scouting network is getting to somewhere near the level it should be. I think just Tiote leaving would make about 6 to 9 places difference in the league, he is that important to the team. His signing has to be seen as part luck really, i dont know enough about Mr Carr to give him the credit for realising his potential. In that case, its highly unlikely that we could replicate the business. With Best's scoring form as good as Carroll's early season form, there is a case to say we havent missed him (well especially as he is injured anyway). Tiote isnt replaceable, so if he goes, it will be baffling from a financial/investment point of view.

ah. There was a time when we said someone wasn't for sale and they weren't. In fact, nobody bothered trying to buy our best players because they knew they wouldn't be sold. Or because they were under-performing mercenaries? must be nice living in a make believe little world like you do Best players not for sale? Woodgate was our best defender and he was sold, so was Bellamy and Andy Cole wasnt too shabby either. Every player is for sale if the price is right. You think Man U wanted Ronaldo to go? If a player gets a whiff of more money and a better lifestyle or to play in the champions league then their head is turned and when a club makes a top offer then its bye-bye regardless who the manager/chairman is. The measure of the club is who replaces the sold player so we need to wait and see who comes in the summer. oh fucking hell. Do bugger off man. Footballers are always leaving clubs, everywhere, but the top clubs replace the odd quality player they lose with another of the same calibre in the managers opinion and allow him to continue to attempt to improve the team with the cash from the sales. This is kids stuff. How much longer does this need to be explained ? How many idiots are there in this world ? Thats what I said, It depends who the replacements are although in your book if we dont get Ronaldo,Tevez and Xavi then we are not ambitious enough. The reality is we are where we are at the moment and if we get players like Tiote or Jose who may have the ambition to play in the champions league or challenge for the title then thats the reality. Football has changed and we have no chance of top 4 even if we spend a fortune. We should aim for a top 6/7 spot and win a cup and play some European football in the Europa league. As long as those that leave are replaced with players who have something to offer and not just shite or so called big names then so be it. Or are you so deluded you think we should be spending 30mil on a player and 100k pw on wages?? your first line is bollocks. For starters, if we signed any one quality footballer, would Carroll have left, and would we be talking about the possibility of Enrique and Tiotte leaving ? My guess is both these players would be first in the queue to sign extended contracts. Secondly, no person turned their noses up when we signed the likes of Shearer, Ferdinand, Ginola, Woodgate, Speed, Dyer etc etc bleating on about the club heading towards administration. I agree that if the 35m quid is invested in footballers the manager decides will give us a better team than the one we had with Carroll in it, it should prompt a re-think about Mike Ashley and his ambitions for the club, but it won't. The waft of 80k per week was enough to tempt Carroll and if you think any signing would have convinced him to stay I would say you are wrong. As for Jose and Tiote, I said if they want to challenge for a title or play champions league, so Man U, Chelsea,City or Arsenal not to mention Spain,Italy etc. If any top clubs come in for ANY of our players then they will go if they want to and its up to Ashley to get a deal thats right for NUFC and to re invest it. I wasnt bleating when we had those players but no one had any idea how fucked the clubs finances were on the back of it all as for your final point, could I borrow your crystal ball please The Carroll issue and the fact Ashley should've had a look at the books aside, I think Happy Face has shown that Ashley could've spent less than the relegation cost him by handing KK a canny bit of money to spend as he chose. That's what sticks in my throat when you get the lines trotted out about how much of his own money he's spent. The media seem particularly blind to this so it's no wonder fans from NUFC and other clubs don't pick up on it much. He's a shit owner as manc-mag points out, he no longer gives a shit about the fans its just business. He's fucking stupid, without doubt for the reasons you just point out. My question is, whats his business? Where is he trying to take his investment? I obviously dont know but then i dont even really know what the doomsday scenario is either that is getting put forward. His greatest crime is settling for less than we can acheive but then thats settling for less than his investment can acheive. If he sells Enrique and Tiote this summer and we fall back to the bottom of the league and out, it makes him an idiot as its his investment that suffers. What i find the hardest to understand is that in the 12 games to go thread, people are happily predicting 50 points. There is a disconnect in logic in all of this.

Incontrovertibly. Last season we were in the championship, at the start of the season survival seemed the most we could hope for, by mid-season survival looks guaranteed. If we win on saturday, we will be looking to finish top half. That appears to be progress, whichever way you look at it. If you take 1996 as your starting point, then we have gone backwards. If you take relegation as the starting point, we've moved forward. You like facts, those are the barest of facts regarding the direction of the club. Of course, Carroll's sale is a clear step backwards but only if he goes on to fulfill his potential. If he doesnt, selling him wasnt a step backwards, it was a fucking good bit of business. Anyway, 10 steps forward and 1 step backwards is still 9 steps forward People have used the Carroll sale to come up with pretty far reaching conclusions about the future of the club, which is fair enough, it did wipe out the positivity from all the other things that were going right. However, if one player transaction defines a club then presumably everyone will change their mind if Enrique signs a new deal when we are mathematically safe? Would be interested in responses to this last part, as its clearly the one of the biggest uncertainties for the fans at the minute. 1996 ? Relegation ? If you take 2004, Arsenal have gone backwards by comparison. If you take 2009, Manu went backwards last season by comparison. This season, Chelsea won't win the premiership so does that also mean they have gone backwards ? I don't get the point of cherry picking a season to try and prove a point like this. Football is always about clubs having ups and downs. What I see is a club that is not geared to success, or attempting to compete with the top clubs. A few results good or bad, or an odd season in the top half of the top flight, changes nothing. This football club is not geared to attempt to compete regularly in europe, and this is not going to change under this owner. If he does I will admit that I read him incorrectly, but I'm confident that what I have been saying since early on in his ownership continues to be absolutely correct. The sale of Carrol only re-inforces what I have always said. This money will not be re-invested, and what we do see will be invested on players or chancers with the eventual outcome and aim being survival or mid table comfort at best. I find it increasingly perplexing that people are STILL giving this man the benefit of the doubt. It sticks out a mile. The point was about us and our direction, not Man U or Arsenal. Sticking to the point, our direction is not backwards. 'Since relegation, the club has moved forward' is a fact. If you want to know which direction a car is moving in, you dont summarise its vectors over 15 years, you'd probably start within the last few minutes. Thats how an assessment of direction works. Anyway, i dont understand this benefit of the doubt thing because i dont understand what his dastardly plan is. If i am giving him the benefit of the doubt, what am i doubting; 1, 2, or 3, above ? If his evil plan is 'not to be bothered about us challenging for honours' then aye, its all fucked as we all need hope but am struggling to get annoyed about that when we all agreed that survival this season would be a decent result. I dont get what everyone thinks his end-game is i guess and thats a genuinely open statement for discussion.

Its not as simple as that though, even if we try and simplify things there are still many distinct possibile interpretations of Ashley. 1, He wants to destroy us and asset strip the club 2, He wants to make a profit to recoup his losses and believes yo-yo'ing between the leagues is the best way. 3, He wants a mid-table premiership club that makes profit from selling players bought cheap and developed by the club 4, He wants slow steady progress over time and has decided not to invest large capital There are more of course. None of those are inconsistent with him selling Carroll. Its not the benefit of the doubt, its just that nothing says incontrovertibly that one of them is true.

Wenger's knee length puffer is the gayest coat on the planet.

Incontrovertibly. Last season we were in the championship, at the start of the season survival seemed the most we could hope for, by mid-season survival looks guaranteed. If we win on saturday, we will be looking to finish top half. That appears to be progress, whichever way you look at it. If you take 1996 as your starting point, then we have gone backwards. If you take relegation as the starting point, we've moved forward. You like facts, those are the barest of facts regarding the direction of the club. Of course, Carroll's sale is a clear step backwards but only if he goes on to fulfill his potential. If he doesnt, selling him wasnt a step backwards, it was a fucking good bit of business. Anyway, 10 steps forward and 1 step backwards is still 9 steps forward People have used the Carroll sale to come up with pretty far reaching conclusions about the future of the club, which is fair enough, it did wipe out the positivity from all the other things that were going right. However, if one player transaction defines a club then presumably everyone will change their mind if Enrique signs a new deal when we are mathematically safe? Would be interested in responses to this last part, as its clearly the one of the biggest uncertainties for the fans at the minute.

My kind of party.

I've gone for 4 points but even that I think would be a great result. Just looked at Bolton's recent away form in the league which is not good and our record at home against them, which is good. Would be a massive result as it could take us to 7th.

Anyone predicting 6 points from our next 2 home games is being a tad optimistic. 2 draws wouldnt surprise me at all.

She'd probably let you as well, big boss man manager in France and you look like a white version of Tiote (but not as moody) going off that photo with Ben Arfa. Show me the pic. In the Ben Arfa thread. I was fucking wazzed by the way, had been on the drink since lunch and i dont really go out anymore so was in a bit of a state. You've seen me looking better anyway. I've always said you were one of the better looking kids on here, that one with you in your leather jacket you look like a Tunisian TV star. On that pic of you mortal with HBA you look like Sewpa Kev though, fuckin hell not one of us has had a dodgy pic taken eh, look at J69 sticking the knife in as well. You can just imagine what HBA was saying to himself when he seen that face bounding over slurring shit french at him. Aye nice little dig from J69 but to be expected if you're going to hoy your own mug up online, am getting a cross between Kevin Phillips and Dwight Yorke according to people i get on with! I donno why people do it though. Even on that pic you look alright just a bit mashed. Why do people criticise how other people look who are brave enough to put their pics up? I can honestly say this MB is rare in the fact I can't remember anyone who's put a pic up of themselves who look noticably ugly. Even The Fish was better than I imagined. What did HBA say when you told him you were a toon fan? Quality crack a the toon's new big signing meeting a toon fan randomly in club in Paris mortal as well. "Hatem vous are fuckin tres bien" was it along those lines? It was in Lyon not Paris. First time i've been to Lyon, an old mate moved there about 2 months ago and another of our mates from London who is emigrating to New Zealand wanted to come over to see us both, as its only 2 hours on the train from Paris, we decided on a weekend in Lyon. Funnily enough i did 'vous' him, cant remember exactly what i said but it was something like y'areet Hatem, am from newcastle, just wanted to say hello etc, said he could have a beautiful future with us, the goal he scored against everton was mag-nifique, hows yer leg by the way? He wanted to know what the fuck i was doing in Lyon I think he might have thought (for a moment anyway) that i was club spy keeping tabs on him. We had the table next to him in the VIP and me mates thought the funniest part of the night was me having a crack on and a dance with this bird (just a bit of flirt, am not like that), she is asking where am from and i say Newcastle. She didnt seem very clear on where it was, so i said you see that lad on the next table, he's Hatem Ben Arfa (blank look).... plays football for Newcastle, its a big club, bigger than Everton or Villa anyway (i think she nodded at that point). Anyway, literally 2 minutes later, she's fucked off and is dancing with HBA. Fair enough tbh. Mint tale Were you cowied up? We were in the mood but no, maybe a few years ago but tbh mate i was like a pig in shit, as mac-toon said, am like a pilot light, i never gan oot. Dropped a load of notes on 4 litres of Grey Goose and got everyone mortal instead. Did you not read the tale from the day after? Met some local blokes in their 50s in an Irish bar over a breakfast of Guinness. Ended up in their mate's restaurant drinking cognac and doing poppers. Mad weekend like. :icon_lol: fucking poppers Meenzer will be wishing he was there. Poppers. That's class. There's a shop in the toon called the KARD bar that used to sell them, think they're illegal in this country now like. He had them poured into a tall thin glass from the bar and had a box of cigars over the top keeping the fumes in. We'd been sampling the local wine and cognacs so when he showed us the glass with the cigar box over the top and asked me 'would i like to smell a local Lyonnaise speciality' i thought he was getting us to smell some local digestif. Am making like a connoisseur, start sniffing and it takes us about 3 second to go 'what the fuck....poppers' turn bright red and start to piss myself laughing.

She'd probably let you as well, big boss man manager in France and you look like a white version of Tiote (but not as moody) going off that photo with Ben Arfa. Show me the pic. In the Ben Arfa thread. I was fucking wazzed by the way, had been on the drink since lunch and i dont really go out anymore so was in a bit of a state. You've seen me looking better anyway. I've always said you were one of the better looking kids on here, that one with you in your leather jacket you look like a Tunisian TV star. On that pic of you mortal with HBA you look like Sewpa Kev though, fuckin hell not one of us has had a dodgy pic taken eh, look at J69 sticking the knife in as well. You can just imagine what HBA was saying to himself when he seen that face bounding over slurring shit french at him. Aye nice little dig from J69 but to be expected if you're going to hoy your own mug up online, am getting a cross between Kevin Phillips and Dwight Yorke according to people i get on with! I donno why people do it though. Even on that pic you look alright just a bit mashed. Why do people criticise how other people look who are brave enough to put their pics up? I can honestly say this MB is rare in the fact I can't remember anyone who's put a pic up of themselves who look noticably ugly. Even The Fish was better than I imagined. What did HBA say when you told him you were a toon fan? Quality crack a the toon's new big signing meeting a toon fan randomly in club in Paris mortal as well. "Hatem vous are fuckin tres bien" was it along those lines? It was in Lyon not Paris. First time i've been to Lyon, an old mate moved there about 2 months ago and another of our mates from London who is emigrating to New Zealand wanted to come over to see us both, as its only 2 hours on the train from Paris, we decided on a weekend in Lyon. Funnily enough i did 'vous' him, cant remember exactly what i said but it was something like y'areet Hatem, am from newcastle, just wanted to say hello etc, said he could have a beautiful future with us, the goal he scored against everton was mag-nifique, hows yer leg by the way? He wanted to know what the fuck i was doing in Lyon I think he might have thought (for a moment anyway) that i was club spy keeping tabs on him. We had the table next to him in the VIP and me mates thought the funniest part of the night was me having a crack on and a dance with this bird (just a bit of flirt, am not like that), she is asking where am from and i say Newcastle. She didnt seem very clear on where it was, so i said you see that lad on the next table, he's Hatem Ben Arfa (blank look).... plays football for Newcastle, its a big club, bigger than Everton or Villa anyway (i think she nodded at that point). Anyway, literally 2 minutes later, she's fucked off and is dancing with HBA. Fair enough tbh. Mint tale Were you cowied up? We were in the mood but no, maybe a few years ago but tbh mate i was like a pig in shit, as mac-toon said, am like a pilot light, i never gan oot. Dropped a load of notes on 4 litres of Grey Goose and got everyone mortal instead. Did you not read the tale from the day after? Met some local blokes in their 50s in an Irish bar over a breakfast of Guinness. Ended up in their mate's restaurant drinking cognac and doing poppers. Mad weekend like.

Also the year that Israel was created.

Parky, is it a coincidence that the revelation of the dead sea scrolls, the creation of the CIA, the Roswell incident and the discovery of the holograph all occurred in 1947?

30 inch waist!? 31 tbh, its a bit of a squeeze into the 30s. Anyway, lets not get carried away, i might have shed a few pounds but am far from healthy overall. Still smoking. Imagined you saying that as 'the Mask', wearing 30" Tesco jeans. I knew someone would pick it up. Gave up the tabs years back.

She'd probably let you as well, big boss man manager in France and you look like a white version of Tiote (but not as moody) going off that photo with Ben Arfa. Show me the pic. In the Ben Arfa thread. I was fucking wazzed by the way, had been on the drink since lunch and i dont really go out anymore so was in a bit of a state. You've seen me looking better anyway. I've always said you were one of the better looking kids on here, that one with you in your leather jacket you look like a Tunisian TV star. On that pic of you mortal with HBA you look like Sewpa Kev though, fuckin hell not one of us has had a dodgy pic taken eh, look at J69 sticking the knife in as well. You can just imagine what HBA was saying to himself when he seen that face bounding over slurring shit french at him. Aye nice little dig from J69 but to be expected if you're going to hoy your own mug up online, am getting a cross between Kevin Phillips and Dwight Yorke according to people i get on with! I donno why people do it though. Even on that pic you look alright just a bit mashed. Why do people criticise how other people look who are brave enough to put their pics up? I can honestly say this MB is rare in the fact I can't remember anyone who's put a pic up of themselves who look noticably ugly. Even The Fish was better than I imagined. What did HBA say when you told him you were a toon fan? Quality crack a the toon's new big signing meeting a toon fan randomly in club in Paris mortal as well. "Hatem vous are fuckin tres bien" was it along those lines? It was in Lyon not Paris. First time i've been to Lyon, an old mate moved there about 2 months ago and another of our mates from London who is emigrating to New Zealand wanted to come over to see us both, as its only 2 hours on the train from Paris, we decided on a weekend in Lyon. Funnily enough i did 'vous' him, cant remember exactly what i said but it was something like y'areet Hatem, am from newcastle, just wanted to say hello etc, said he could have a beautiful future with us, the goal he scored against everton was mag-nifique, hows yer leg by the way? He wanted to know what the fuck i was doing in Lyon I think he might have thought (for a moment anyway) that i was club spy keeping tabs on him. We had the table next to him in the VIP and me mates thought the funniest part of the night was me having a crack on and a dance with this bird (just a bit of flirt, am not like that), she is asking where am from and i say Newcastle. She didnt seem very clear on where it was, so i said you see that lad on the next table, he's Hatem Ben Arfa (blank look).... plays football for Newcastle, its a big club, bigger than Everton or Villa anyway (i think she nodded at that point). Anyway, literally 2 minutes later, she's fucked off and is dancing with HBA. Fair enough tbh.

She'd probably let you as well, big boss man manager in France and you look like a white version of Tiote (but not as moody) going off that photo with Ben Arfa. Show me the pic. In the Ben Arfa thread. I was fucking wazzed by the way, had been on the drink since lunch and i dont really go out anymore so was in a bit of a state. You've seen me looking better anyway. I've always said you were one of the better looking kids on here, that one with you in your leather jacket you look like a Tunisian TV star. On that pic of you mortal with HBA you look like Sewpa Kev though, fuckin hell not one of us has had a dodgy pic taken eh, look at J69 sticking the knife in as well. You can just imagine what HBA was saying to himself when he seen that face bounding over slurring shit french at him. Aye nice little dig from J69 but to be expected if you're going to hoy your own mug up online, am getting a cross between Kevin Phillips and Dwight Yorke according to people i get on with!

30 inch waist!? 31 tbh, its a bit of a squeeze into the 30s. Anyway, lets not get carried away, i might have shed a few pounds but am far from healthy overall. Still smoking.

She'd probably let you as well, big boss man manager in France and you look like a white version of Tiote (but not as moody) going off that photo with Ben Arfa. Show me the pic. In the Ben Arfa thread. I was fucking wazzed by the way, had been on the drink since lunch and i dont really go out anymore so was in a bit of a state. You've seen me looking better anyway.

He can give you oral pleasure whilst your both standing up too. He's a fucking legend on the hen night circuit.

I would.

Eat a lot of fish, dont drink too much alcohol. Best and only diet i've ever been on. Have stopped going to the pub for a pint after work, have a few beers maybe one night at the weekend now, look after the bairn, walk a lot, go for a run once or twice a month. Fit back into my 30 inch waist jeans now, which isnt bad for 37 years old.

Aye....if you liked Cosmogramma