Monkeys Fist

If there’s any TV/film company that’s consistently turning out programmes better than the BBC Natural History department is like to see it, and that goes for any genre. Everything they do, without fail, is world class. An American pal of mine was fucking livid a few years back when one of Attenborough’s series was released over there with Neil Degrasse-Tyson narrating instead of him.

If there was a non-partisan emergency government in place, dealing with this crisis, then aye, political criticism could be put on hold. As it is, we’ve got Cunts Inc. running the show, like a flock of headless fucking chickens. Personally, I think they’re getting off lightly at the moment. When we’re allowed back out of our cages, they’ll be mincemeat.

“Chop his fucking hands off”

I actually feel a bit sorry for the no-socks skinny jeans chin-minged little irrelevance. Imagine growing up in Middlesbrough, spending your whole life thinking “ get me out of this shithole”, you get to 18 and think- “ University! Get in! I’m free!”… but then being so dense you end up doing Business Studies. In Hull.

He probably isn’t feeling it right now, but he’s lucky it was the drunken hippy that outed him, and not the angry bogtrotter.

Piss be upon them.

Eh? Doesn't look like a journalist.

Jesus won’t help him, we’re all Muslim now.

Especially one that’s based in Regent Centre in…. Newcastle! Full House!

Well, I Am Sold. Which is in no way a reference to the Estate Agents of the same name. Pure coincidence.

Aye fair enough, but first, would you?

Fucking Hell. Callum, @Warlord, whatever, ring 111 mate.

This isn’t a forehead, it’s a Fivehead.

Funnily enough, most of his social media sites have gone “private”. He’s quick, but not quick enough Gone for a more mature, “hope the cat doesn’t lick it off” look here.

@Warlord, so Callum, what exactly does a “Client Onboarding Manager” do, other than troll football message boards like a fucking schoolboy? If you aren’t keen on answering, I’ll can always ask your employers?

Tell you what mind Tom, he’s got a lovely shirt!

Mint!

All done whilst opening a fresh can.

1. We didn’t “want our club to be owned by the Saudi Royal family”. They’re buying us. Big difference. 2. “Great example for young kids growing as fans, researching the roots of their club…” Could be worse, we could’ve allowed Adam Johnson to carry on playing for us whilst fully aware of the crimes he was accused of, imagine… 3. Here’s another massive cock so you don’t get lonely.

Chomp down while it’s still mooing. The best way

Me and the boy on our way to our first match under our new Evil Overlords.

T-bone steak. Cooked blue?

BAU lolz!

Blue pop works wonders.