Big Onion

Mike Ashley in 'caring' mode:

You are Derek Llambias and I claim my five pounds

My feeling is that it's not the shit football per se that's changing people's matchday experience - we've had that before (though I think it's the worst for nearly 20 years myself). It's the combination of the dross on show and the widespread perception that there is no prospect whatsoever of things improving for the forseeable future.

I'd been taking the contract extension talk with a pinch of salt up until now, but that really does sound like they mean it. Jesus Christ

Woohoo, we're shit but we're cheap. He's going to find that the crap football he's serving up will have far more bearing on renewals than a bit of apologetic discounting. Anyway, they'll be buy one get one free if we go down I expect .

Cattermole's a piece of shit. He goes through deliberately time and time again. He knows exactly what he's doing as well. I'd love to have seen him play in the '70s. They'd have worked him out within two or three games and smashed the horrible cunt in half. I'll enjoy the day he gets what he deserves, and it will happen.

These days I listen to more soul music than anything else. Never tire of listening to '60s Motown. I've even got my tickets for the Arena 50th anniversary show, which will probably be a bit of a cheesefest but I couldn't give a fuck - I bet they can all still sing Early Motown is just

Un-bollocks, as they're all on again tonight (unless these are different shows)

Bollocks! I missed this and I love 1960s Motown. Any idea if it's being shown again?

It would be a better watch than the football has been for the last few years Byker aggro for the win I reckon.

That's possible, and I'm not a member of the Joey Barton fanclub. I have a hunch he'll be off in the summer. Regardless, the point is they tried to offload an important player over Keegan's head just hours before the window closed (maybe the mysterious Gonzales was the replacement, who knows?). Madness.

Aye he was shown live on SSN arriving at the ground having been called in to discuss the transfer, then texted Jim White (also live on SSN) a couple of hours later saying he felt he owed it to the fans and Keegan to stay. This was at tea-time on the last day of the window I think.

Shifting sands. I'd also observe that the club has never countered Keegan's stated reason for leaving: namely, that players were 'imposed' on him. What is not said is often as revealing as what is. I have no doubt at all that Xisco and Gonzales were signed against Keegan's wishes, nor that the club attempted to sell Barton (and possibly Owen) over the manager's head - and all on the last day of the window. No manager with an ounce of self-respect could possibly have tolerated that. This all clearly contradicts what Wise and Ashley had earlier said about Wise's role, and also undermines Mort's assurances that Keegan had 'final say'. No wonder they're settling.

So, that'll be 10 yrs of spending nothing for a start? Aye but we'll be alright man - challenging for 'everything' in five years

Last I heard it was the Villa model, which succeeded the now unfashionable Arsenal model. I think that's the current line anyway.

Hypothetical preferences aside, I've got no time at all for the view that the stagnation during the old board's later years somehow excuses the shambolic twenty months we've had under Ashley. This notion that the old board is somehow 'responsible' for our current problems is bonkers. Ashley bought the club lock, stock and barrel: it's entirely his responsibility. He could see what he was buying: a club not fulfilling it's huge potential. If we'd been top four I daresay it would have cost a shitload more. I've said this elsewhere, but getting Keegan his left-back, and a playmaker/creative cm with the Milner money would have seen us go into the season with every chance of making good progress - and it wouldn't have required massive investment at all. But he has faith in his 'plan', the stupid cunt

Just watched this old classic on Youtube. For the umpteenth time, but it is great PP Arnold, The First Cut Is The Deepest

Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires

Wish I'd just said that instead of fannying about actually

Probably. But in the current climate they won't get what Ashley wants (£300mil, according to Keith Harris); down the line, they'll never fucking get it if they continue to fuck things up on the football side.

Of course they are. I remember watching Ashley's media bum-boy Rob Beasley on the Sunday Supplement and he said (I'm paraphrasing but it's very close): "Spurs sold Berbatov to Man U for £32mil; why can't Newcastle do the same'. Now obviously Berbatov is a somewhat different example as he was bought by spuds as a mature player. But the point remains the same. No good will come of these fuckers running our club.

Shepherd. People complain, justifiably to an extent, about the club having been something of a cash cow for the Halls and Shepherds. But there'd have been no money to be made if the Halls and Shepherds hadn't completely transformed the club in the first place. He also wanted the club to be successful; but his/the boards's decision-making at critical points in the later years let them and the club down. I also think Shepherd is quite right to point out that the stadium Ashley got when he bought the club would cost a fortune to build today. That £57mil which forms a substantial part of the inherited debt Ashley and co. frequently make reference to is chickenfeed in comparison. The stadium is no use if it's got 20,000 empty seats, which we're heading for if we're a perpetual bottom third/relegation-battle club. The Ashley 'plan' is a pie-in-the-sky piece of horseshit. Most of these young players are 3-5 years from first-team football, the majority of them are unlikely to make it (as has always been the case in football), and the best of them will move to an ambitious club as soon as they get the opportunity. The plan for the interim seems to consist of bumping along on a zero net spend and hoping we don't get fucking relegated. What a crock of shit it all is.

It is a fucking lottery. Ferguson was a few games from the sack and had it been newcastle rather than man u he probably would have got 2 years at most. Daglish should have worked Ramos, scolari, etc etc Moyes, who knew Fckn lottery If you think a few examples of managers with good cvs failing in one or another job proves your point you are even dafter than I thought Ferguson He was appointed on the basis of his remarkable success in Scotland and given the time he needed to show he could be just as successful in England. The fact he wasn't sacked was a matter of judgement on the part of their board. In other words he was kept on by design, which is absolutely nothing to do with luck - in a sense, the exact opposite in fact. Moyes was known as one of the most promising young managers around when Everton appointed him. He did a brilliant job at Preston, and had been preparing for management for years before he started. You think they just plucked him out of the air? Just because there are no guarantees a manager will be successful in one job or another that's not a very good reason to abandon all judgement and throw it to the winds. Based on what? He might of course, but then again he might not. I'll have tails

Aye but according to his logic the whole process of appointing a manager is a lottery, and therefore we may as well have little Dennis as anyone else

Oh aye I've just worked it oot