Monkeys Fist 50776 Posted January 17, 2024 Share Posted January 17, 2024 2 hours ago, Dazzler said: This one remains undefeated: She’s got the wong accent. Giddup! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 28572 Posted January 21, 2024 Share Posted January 21, 2024 https://news.sky.com/story/dog-walkers-and-pet-killed-after-being-hit-by-bmw-in-maidstone-13053097 Language in reporting is very important. This would imply two cars in a collision. But no. CUNTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 27805 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 Well, if pissing in the countryside is a crime I'm Lex Luther combined with the Kray twins. I eman ffs, where's the harm? What about various animals that piss everywhere, should we not fine them too. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/29/english-council-littering-fines-peeing-in-countryside-dacorum-hertfordshire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16216 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 1 minute ago, Renton said: Well, if pissing in the countryside is a crime I'm Lex Luther combined with the Kray twins. I eman ffs, where's the harm? What about various animals that piss everywhere, should we not fine them too. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/29/english-council-littering-fines-peeing-in-countryside-dacorum-hertfordshire Why couldn't they just piss themselves like the average person who stays/lives in a tent? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 39291 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 How much is MF looking at for shitting in fields all around the NE? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 42163 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 17 minutes ago, Renton said: Well, if pissing in the countryside is a crime I'm Lex Luther combined with the Kray twins. I eman ffs, where's the harm? What about various animals that piss everywhere, should we not fine them too. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/29/english-council-littering-fines-peeing-in-countryside-dacorum-hertfordshire Wtf do they think people do when they’re on a long walk in the middle of nowhere? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16216 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 15 minutes ago, Alex said: Wtf do they think people do when they’re on a long walk in the middle of nowhere? It's the people employed to catch them I feel sorry for. Imagine having to stash yourself in the bushes on the dales and wait for someone to go for a slash. Jump out on them, flash your badge, give them a fright and end up soaked in piss. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16216 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 32 minutes ago, ewerk said: How much is MF looking at for shitting in fields all around the NE? He gets away with it because he immediately stands up and wipes his crack with a dock leaf. So they think he's mentally deficient. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50776 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 47 minutes ago, Dazzler said: he immediately stands up Point of order- already standing. Thangew. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16216 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 5 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Point of order- already standing. Thangew. Which situation is correct? 1) You shit straight into your pants. 2) You remove your foot from one pant leg and strategically place the pants to the outside of the other leg and shit straight onto the grass 3) You have a particularly high arsehole so when you shite it shoots away from you at a 90 degree angle clearing the dropped trousers (and hitting the piss police like a poo missile) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50776 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 4. Stance like Alberto Tomba. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16216 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 3 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: 4. Stance like Alberto Tomba. So then I can presume one of the following is true 1) You either have the stretchiest trousers in the world to be split that far at the ankles without tearing or; 2) You wear pants with a trap door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50776 Posted January 30, 2024 Share Posted January 30, 2024 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14520 Posted January 31, 2024 Share Posted January 31, 2024 13 hours ago, ewerk said: How much is MF looking at for shitting in fields all around the NE? And burying prostitutes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50776 Posted February 3, 2024 Share Posted February 3, 2024 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-68189568 Man had “inert nuclear missile” in his backyard. It’s in the US, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4949 Posted February 3, 2024 Share Posted February 3, 2024 2 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-68189568 Man had “inert nuclear missile” in his backyard. It’s in the US, of course. We should create a thread purely for stuff that only happens in America. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 9342 Posted February 3, 2024 Share Posted February 3, 2024 https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/northumbria-police-officer-sacked-sending-28545029.amp Steve Harmison's brother. Spreading news of Joelinton's arrest for drink driving apparently Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 42163 Posted February 3, 2024 Share Posted February 3, 2024 Rookie mistake there. He’d have been fine if he’d done something a lot more serious 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50776 Posted February 3, 2024 Share Posted February 3, 2024 4 hours ago, Kid Dynamite said: https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/northumbria-police-officer-sacked-sending-28545029.amp Steve Harmison's brother. Spreading news of Joelinton's arrest for drink driving apparently 3 hours ago, Alex said: Rookie mistake there. He’d have been fine if he’d done something a lot more serious Without looking, I’m going to say that between this being posted on Ready to Groom, and the “bribed by their murderous, camel-humping, paed…etc” response, it’ll be a maximum of one post, possibly zero if the original poster makes the link first. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 9342 Posted February 3, 2024 Share Posted February 3, 2024 3 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Without looking, I’m going to say that between this being posted on Ready to Groom, and the “bribed by their murderous, camel-humping, paed…etc” response, it’ll be a maximum of one post, possibly zero if the original poster makes the link first. The story doesn't mention that he's an ex pro-cricketer, played for Blyth Spartans/Ashington in non-league football etc and has a famous brother. Seems to be getting reported on the QT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 42163 Posted February 4, 2024 Share Posted February 4, 2024 15 hours ago, Kid Dynamite said: The story doesn't mention that he's an ex pro-cricketer, played for Blyth Spartans/Ashington in non-league football etc and has a famous brother. Seems to be getting reported on the QT The Chronicle absolutely loves a bit if tittle-tattle so it makes me wonder if the reported and/or editor are so hopeless that they’ve never even made the connection, despite it not being a very common surname. I just don’t see why they’d have not mentioned Steven Harmison otherwise. As there would be absolutely no legal ramifications for stating the facts. By the way, apparently he’d only been in the force for a year and was advised that if he admitted full guilt at the hearing then he would get away with a severe reprimand. Only to then be dismissed upon doing that. An absolutely stupid thing to do though. And by someone who isn’t exactly a young kid either. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 9342 Posted February 4, 2024 Share Posted February 4, 2024 7 minutes ago, Alex said: The Chronicle absolutely loves a bit if tittle-tattle so it makes me wonder if the reported and/or editor are so hopeless that they’ve never even made the connection, despite it not being a very common surname. I just don’t see why they’d have not mentioned Steven Harmison otherwise. As there would be absolutely no legal ramifications for stating the facts. By the way, apparently he’d only been in the force for a year and was advised that if he admitted full guilt at the hearing then he would get away with a severe reprimand. Only to then be dismissed upon doing that. An absolutely stupid thing to do though. And by someone who isn’t exactly a young kid either. He posted details of the arrest on 3 different WhatsApp groups (before it was public knowledge) and then logged into the case file on the police computer despite not being involved in the arrest. Not sure who advised him he would get a reprimand, but I'd have been very surprised if they let him continue working after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50776 Posted February 4, 2024 Share Posted February 4, 2024 Looks like the Knight Ryder will need a new narc 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 42163 Posted February 4, 2024 Share Posted February 4, 2024 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Kid Dynamite said: He posted details of the arrest on 3 different WhatsApp groups (before it was public knowledge) and then logged into the case file on the police computer despite not being involved in the arrest. Not sure who advised him he would get a reprimand, but I'd have been very surprised if they let him continue working after that. This is the fucking police we’re talking about. His problem was being new in the job. They get away with all sorts of shit much worse without being dismissed. I’m not defending what he did by the way. Edited February 4, 2024 by Alex 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4949 Posted February 4, 2024 Share Posted February 4, 2024 54 minutes ago, Alex said: This is the fucking police we’re talking about. His problem was being new in the job. They get away with all sorts of shit much worse without being dismissed. I’m not defending what he did by the way. I’m guessing he was still a probationer so could be canned easily. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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