Billy Castell

I can handly bare the tension.

Alonso has mentally gone off the rails. Ferrari should never have signed him as Hamilton has turned him into an F1 equivilent of Anelka. He's psychologically shot, and he spends too much time sulking and complaining.

Perhaps you should dilute some surgical spirit in water. That'll probably do the trick. As my wife is from Dorset, I have ready access to real cider from a farm, though I dare not try it. They're at least 7%, which is a bit too racy for someone like me. I don't count Frosty Jack's as cider. I'd group it with the other tramp juice like Omega (what is that?), White Lightning etc. Warm cider is desperate though. Nearly as bad as drinking Fosters. One other thing, don't drink when you have work the next day. Very unprofessional, and you'd not be popular with the boss. I say that as I used to work with a few guys in their early 20's and half the time they'd come to work pissed or hung over. Another person I used to work with did nights, and he couldn't understand why his co-worker was so keen to do his shift in the freezer, and finish work at 7 in the morning all cheerful and full of energy. Turned out he was stealing bottles of vodka, whiskey etc. getting absolutely hammered, and hiding away in the freezer on his own. What vodka are you planning to buy?

Fucking hell, how chavvy. 16 years old and he drinks until he pisses his pants and can't talk. No doubt his big bucks will be spent on more alcohol.

Drop an acid and fuck your mind on this one

Good thing I didn't get that job at Santander then! P.S. I doubt Real Madrid will be affected. The government and the local council will sell everything to keep them going.

You're legally allowed to drive the son of God? Jesus is by many accounts a peaceful chap, but I'm sure if he saw you pull up and say you're his chauffer, he'd say "Fuck off Kevin."

Kevin's ew vocational options. Kevin get two guests visiting his house.

A cheesy covers band? I'd have loved Iron Maiden to close one year. Or The Prodigy.

I'd piss myself if Torres went to Spain, and Bobby Zamora came in. One fairly good season, and he'sbeing bigged up to be in the England squad.

Alonso constantly throws his toys out his pram. Every little thing makes him whine like a stuffed pig. If he just shut his fucking pie hole and tried to drive a car, he'd be in contention for the championship.

Hopefully he'll be as profigate with money as he was with us, and buy Keith Andrews for £6m. He will steady the ship, but I can't see them making the top 4 again. Therefore, they'll really fuck up on the balance sheet.

Haven't been to McDonalds for years and don't intend to either after this thread. Maybe Kevin can do the job the dog in Alex's avatar. It looks like it's operating a floor buffer. Mind you, that dog wouldn't get funny looks if it was caught licking his own arse or humping a cushion during its lunch hour.

I've read the book, and the film looked nothing like it from the trailer. I guess it is from the perspective of those who did the experiments and not the man who researched the stories and wrote the book. My wife is now obsessed with Twilight, and the other books and films. Great. Vampires are so over rated.

the big bucks Kevin, I think you'll have to find another job for big bucks. Unless you're actually Zimbabwean or a Phillipino, whereby being paid in a viable currency at all is considered a bonus.

I was being serious, honest! Just make yourself sound hard-working, optimistic about the job and that you actually want to do well. Don't bother with talking about marketing strategies, profit ratios and suchlike.

Right, you should wear nothing but a cravat and luminous yellow socks, and cart wheel in making monkey noises. During the interview you should vigourously masterbate and jizz off into the deep fat frier. Or the interviewer's face. At the end of the interview, shake the interviewer's hand with the hand you've masturbated with, give a Fascist salute, shout "Heil Salamander!" three times and then mince out the door like Gok Wan. If you don't get the job after that, then Idon't know what else they could want. He said McDonalds not KFC... Durr, silly me. Luminous PINK socks, not yellow socks.

We have another one called Hanley who's supposed to be good too. Made his debut in the last game of the season. They could both end up like Marlon Broomes, but who knows? Jones will get plenty of practice defending anyway.

Right, you should wear nothing but a cravat and luminous yellow socks, and cart wheel in making monkey noises. During the interview you should vigourously masterbate and jizz off into the deep fat frier. Or the interviewer's face. At the end of the interview, shake the interviewer's hand with the hand you've masturbated with, give a Fascist salute, shout "Heil Salamander!" three times and then mince out the door like Gok Wan. If you don't get the job after that, then Idon't know what else they could want.

Fingers crossed Phil Jones carries on like he has. Not many have Anelka and Drogba in their pocket on their debut.

Oh yeah, forgot about those tales about Terry and Gerrard [that may not be true of course, and all made up].

How old are you thompers? Considering you're here a few years i'd imagine old enough. Too old to stalk a 16 year old around the internet and biting at everything that he says? Don't you think skid mark. Fuck off you silly little cunt - or is mother too busy upstairs? Are you not allowed to go to bed yet? I'm in bed sunshine What? with your mum?

The following players should never, ever play for England again: John Terry, Matthew Upson, Emile Heskey, Frank Lampard, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Joe Cole and Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney should be on the bench for the next few games. As I have said before, we need a purge of all the egotistical tossers, and let us start from scratch. Even if that means seeing Kevin Davies play! As for the manager.......................the only man who can sort it all out has just moved to Real Madrid. Although he'll play that clown Terry.

Left to right: A bargain bin Nigel Havers, a coldplay fan, a token, a non-league clubs' chairman and Citizen Kang.

Thanks. I guess technology changes, gituars get tinkered with, and I suppose that's why the older electric gituars are so valued, like a classic car.