Howmanheyman

I think there's zero chance we move out of the city centre, it's a SJP renovation or a kick up the arse from SJP new stadium if the latter is feasible it's a no brainer they go for it.

"Ah thought ah recognised the face, anyways, here's a headline ah did earlier about that time ah worked with the kid from Yorkshire ...."

If you can't smile at this.....

"Get onto our PIF contact, let's get a few disruptor bids in for Wood at Forest, Mitoma at Brighton and Kluivert at Bournemouth." "Should I add Garnacho at Man U or Rashford?" "Hahahahaha, let's not give Ratcliffe any false hope!"

"No one's, I say no one's bothered, man."

Karen Carney, eh? Eh?

Our dads back in the day at the thought of Bet Lynch's leopard skin knickers..... @PaddockLad and @Monkeys Fist carrying the tradition on in their autumn years.

That bloke is absolutely, not a shadow of a doubt about it, stealing a living and so's that Kaveh bloke, absolute fucking frauds the pair of them. 'My sources are saying' as he looks at the twitter feed of journalists who cover villa and arsenal.

How the fuck do you end up listening to that shit?

"Hi guys, today if we look through the square window we have Gary Neville discussing what Rubin Amorim's options are and what impact has Sir Jim Ratcliffe had on getting 'United' back where they belong. In the round window we have Jamie Carragher taking a deep dive into what an amazing job Arne Slot has done in carrying on the fantastic legacy of the cuddly Jürgen Klopp. In the rectangle window we have Paul Merson rambling incoherently about Alexander Isak going to the Arsenal and what a t'riffic move that would be for everyone involved but probably not noocarsull who 'eed then worry abaht if he's honest with ya. Anyone still here who supports Newcastle, guys, there's no agenda here at sky, we love all the teams and report on them all equally and fairly. If you go on our YouTube channel through the triangle window there's a YouTube podcaster asking Dan Burn and Sean Longstaff a few jokey questions for ten minutes because that's all you're good for and we haven't got time to put it on our actual sports channels. Love you, guys!"

I've never heard the cunt ever, no interest in starting now. (Only heard of him last year or so).

"Dear recruiter I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’ I left my mobile, my pager and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not’ve got ’em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’ Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ’em But anyways, fuck it, what’s been up, man? How’s your daughter? I read you'd seen my twitter feed and thought you'd not bother..."

He's used to interacting with dip shits on twitter which probably explains his patronising, playschool patter, 'Hey guys, if you look through the round window you'll see my colleague, mark, was just speaking off the top of his head, there's no sky agenda guys!' fuck off, man. (I'm sure that'll have went down well with anyone of his managerial team or friends at sky who seen it on his twatter feed though).

He's blatantly checked out his social media after offering him the job then had second thoughts.

I'm not pinching that.

Pinching that.

I unfortunately missed both the council and the ministry off my CV. Where did it go wrong?

It reminds me of the old council joke. An old squaddie goes for a job at the council, during the interview he informs the council of his medical conditions and the fact he is missing his testicles from a shrapnel wound and is also allergic to caffeine. A day later he gets the call to start. Council: "Hi, we'd like to offer you the job, we like to support ex forces and we think you'll be a good fit." Bloke: "That's great, when do you want me to start?" Council: "Next Monday if that's ok? We usually start at 9.00am but you're contract is going to be an 11.00am start." Bloke: "Why's that?" Council: "Well for the first couple of hours here at the council we just sit around scratching our balls and drinking coffee so thought there'd be no need for you to come in for that?"

A country with a high proportion of absolute fucking idiots, wankers and freaks.

They really are a bunch of fannies, 'that choke' in 1989 by the way was a backlog of games Liverpool had because of an actual disaster that cost 96, now 97 lives where it took Liverpool playing about four games in 8 days including a cup final and it still took 'goals scored' in the 90th minute to switch the title from Liverpool to them. They basically fluked that title win via a disaster.

Did you all play twister afterwards? Narrator: "And so after his origin story The Fishman did battle with his arch enemy, Wolfman. The opprobrium was writ large on the face of the senior Fishes as they wondered how it has come to this? Farken." Wolfman: "Ow! Dave you stood on my hand!" Fish: "One could argue, Neil, that your hand slipped under my foot if I were being obtuse, certainly the Xf to Xh ratio would suggest either is as likely as the other."

He's a fucking idiot, always was. He isn't so bad these days and seems a quite decent laugh but as soon as Arsenal are involved the eyes start spinning you can hear a whirring sound in his cranium, it's all their ex-players tbh, they're genuinely unhinged if a 50/50 goes against them, shame there's so many of them*. *Arsenal pundits, not 50/50 decisions going against them, I'll take the latter all day long.

Can't agree Alex, the papers and sky said he wasn't very good and lost the mind games in the one season he was in charge of us when his shitness got found out by the greatest manager to have lived at the greatest club in the world (and definitely the biggest), who beat him with his very own kids. They hunted him down and everybody lived happily ever after and the next generation of pundits for twenty years plus were formed. Amen. #SkyChildren