Howmanheyman

I had to reset my DNS settings then clear the cookies and cache for it to work before changing it back.

Cheers! (I'll tell you what, he's a real find, this poster).

And smelly I'd dare say.

I've changed it to a carefully selected dns setting which allows me to watch all our premier league games.

Weird how I can open certain pages on here but not others. I've even deleted the parental controls as well. I'm getting a bit pissed off with this BT shite.

It's the ncjMedia's men in black trying to silence the truth.

Any idea why my pc wont let me on the Newcastle page of Toontastic or some of the threads but only let me on here? (Only time I can get on Newcastle threads is when I go on history but that's it). I've already cleared cache/cookies but it;s still not playing ball.

'Dingleberries'? Fucking 'Dingleberries'?

CT could rightly say he stepped back and let his way of life grow on Toontastic with him watching smugly in the background nodding his head in approval.

BEEP BEEP! Stevie, we have an OOTer! Repeat, we have an OOTer! Couldn't have put it better myself.

The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 21/01/2015 He's a great lad, he's a canny lad, He's a sight for sore eyes, Yes, We've got Lee Ryder, Writin' 'bout the Magpies! Well ah woke up this morning, Well really it was after one, And ah switched on me laptop, To see what was on, And then what ah saw, Cor, It nearly knocked me doon, The pure fucking gold dust, Lee Ryder wrote aboot the Toon He's a great la....... BEEP BEEP!!!! BEEP BEEP!!!! BEEP BEEP!!!! This was how ah woke up this morning, ah was dreaming ah was at a special Tyne Tees award ceremony to honour outstanding North East figures. Ah was chosen as the best North East Sports Media representative and they'd managed to get the famous Geordie, 'Don Juan' to revise his 80's tribute song, 'Wor Kev' and change it to 'Wor Lee' as I was collecting my award from Roger Tames when me morning alarm interrupted the award ceremony. Ah smiled to meself and thought this might just be an omen. Anyways, when ah got into work ah could feel something was afoot in the Thomson House nerve centre, there was a few hushed voices and the tension was pulpa, palpob, where you could almost feel it! Even Mr Eats wasn't munching into something. Ah overheard one of the office juniors say we were getting our first big club interview since the ban was lifted and ah thought back to me dream that morning, an omen indeed! Ah walked up to Gibbo's office as me workmate, Neil Cameron walked out and asked John what was up? What was the big secret? Gibbo said that Lee Charnley was giving The Chronicle an exclusive interview as we'd played ball so far with being onside since the big thaw in relations between The icons of NUFC and Thomson House. In this new Geordie Glasnost we were getting first dibs on the new Toon supremo and his thoughts about carefully selected questions! "That's fucking great, John!" Ah says, "When will he be here and where shall ah interview him?" Gibbo coughed and ah thought he's going to have to watch his lifestyle, like, but he then said, "Err, Lee, I err, I kinda thought I'd pass this one onto Cams, like." Ah thought me hearing was going on the blink, "Wha, wha, what?!" ah said, "Ya fucking kiddin' aren't ya? Did ah just imagine that Trinity Mirror Group regional sports writer of the year award or what?!" Gibbo replied, "Lee! Lee! calm down, son. This story isn't for you, trust me." "How the fuck do you make that one out?" ah answered back. Gibbo then explained to me how Charnley was just a glorified office boy, an accountant in all but name. "Lee, son, he'll just come out with facts and figures and use his fancy big words, that's not what youre about, kidda. You're the main man the punters want to read, you talk their language, they want to read your stuff about ex players and Geordie legends as well as your brilliant match reports. The biggest compliment I can give you, son, is this.......if you weren't writing for the Chronicle, you'd be first in queue to buy it on a Monday morning, that's why the punters love you." Ah couldn't believe this was his excuse in not giving me the Charnley scoop, Ah was staggered, ah was stunned. They say we're a dead eyed bunch in journalism with no emotions but ah was gobsmacked and genuinely touched. "You believe that? That the punters love me 'cos ah'm one of them?" Ah sniffed, "Err, whey aye, man!" Gibbo exclaimed. Ah then thanked him for his kind words before passing Neil Cameron interviewing Charnley. Aye, fuck you, Cams, ah thought. You stick to interviewing Penfold, Ah'm off to interview the legendary Freddy Shepherd. Stick that in ya pipe and smoke it. Lo and behold two hours later ah've got 'Ashley, Royal Bank of Rangers' headlines from the Byker bruiser, the one time Chief supremo of Barrack Road. Me loyal readers will lap it up and it comes, as always, via the peoples writer, one Lee Ryder esq. Ah'm Goff. See-ya.

How the other half live!

Obviously bad crack that a young lad was found dead outside your work, mind.

In related news, West Yorkshire police arrest a man on suspicion of murder in nearby offices where the kid worked who was notorious for irrational office hatred towards his work colleagues. His work window overlooked the resting place of his many victims a poilce spokesman confirmed.

Yeah, don't be like the ignorant guys.

Good post.

Aye, and you should listen carefully because he shall only say it wernce.

I don't get it. What has smoking a cigar like an Texan oil Baron got to do with those subtitles?

Was 1988 actually, October 9th. I only know the date as it's my sister's birthday.

Remember 'the corner' singing "if you're proud to be a geordie be deirdrie barlow" then hundreds of lads putting their hands to their heads frantically looking left and right shouting "Tracey! Tracey! " RIP Anne.

Poor Fish, all he wanted to do was come on and talk about his favourite football team. For shame you complete set of bastards, you.

Graham Carr watch out!

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/alan-shearer-foundation-ball-toon-8467794 http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/freddy-shepherd-backs-john-carver-8464090? The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 17/01/2015 Well diary, ah got a scoop from absolutely nowhere today, ah was heading into the East end of the City on my way to Wallsend to interview one of the coaches of Wallsend boys club about some of the professional footballers they have churned out on their production line when ah couldn’t hold me piss in ah was that bursting. Instead of going through the Byker by-pass ah turned left and went up Shields Road and parked just off it to go to the nearest boozer forra piss. Anyways after shaking the Ryder snake and zipping up in the Raby ah got asked if ah wanted any baccy by one of their clientele, ah refused but got asked the same thing by about three more people before ah’d left the premises and denied ah was a ‘bizzie’ by a further two punters. Ah got out unscathed but heard a commotion outside of the post office, apparently there was an old fashioned scrap going on between two pensioners! A right old battle was being had when ah recognised one of them as former Toon Supremo, one Frederick Shepherd! “Fucking seventy three years old y’bastaads and am still fighting me way to and from Byker” shouted the man who broke the World record transfer fee to sign Alan Shearer to his opponent, only instead of fighting to get to and from school he was fighting to get in the queue for his pension. Being the Trinity Mirror group regional sports writer of the year ah didn’t hang about waiting for an introduction, “Freddy! It’s Lee Ryder of the Chronicle. Who do you think should get the Managers job at the Toon?” Ah says, “Ah knaa you appointed Dalglish and Souness so would love your expert opinion.” The Byker Bulldog looked me up and down and said, “Where’s my bitch, Alan Oliver? He’s the one ah tell what to write. Who the fuck are you, you daft looking cunt?” Ah replied sharpish letting him know you couldn’t intimidate the former terrace Mag Ryder so easily, “Ah’m the main man at the Ronny now, Freddy, Oliver left Town a while back”. Freddy then spilled the beans about giving Geordie boy John Carver the St. James’ Park gig before telling me he was off to Alan Shearers charity do at the Gateshead Hilton. Quicker than a Peter Beardsley through ball ah was hot footing it back over to the swanky Tyneside hotel. Ah’d stopped off first in the Toon and hired a tuxedo and sneaked in the back entrance. As soon as ah got in ah couldn’t believe it, there was big Al with his family, there was former midfield dynamo Rob Lee, Freddy was there along with Robbie Savage and making a special appearance to perform some songs was X factor judge Gary Barlow! It was Savage who was the first person to speak to me, “A glass of Chardonnay for the Missus, Chief and I’ll have the Champagne.” He said. “Eh?” ah replies, he then asked if I was deaf and said he expected better service from the waiting staff before asking me if ah knew who he was? Ah made a sharp exit towards Shearer but ended up going through the wrong door into Barlow’s dressing room. “Who the fuck are you?” the Tory tax avoiding nineties singer asked me. “”Hi Gary, I’m Lee Ryder from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle. Can ah ask you a few questions?” Barlow replied, “No you cannot you fucking baldy Gimp, get the fuck out! How dare you!” Ah then told him how much ah admired his music and he relented and let me have three questions. Ah said, “Gary, who was your favourite football team?” He said “United” and ah bit me lip instead of smashing him in the mush as WE are the only United in these parts. Ah then asked who his favourite player was and he said Cantona. Me last question was “How did you cope when you and the rest of the lads from East17 split up?” He then got up and grabbed my neck and shouted that ah was a piss taking Geordie bastard before throwing me out. Ah decided to let him off as it was a charity event but he’s the first and last Manc who will try it on with the former Toon Army foot soldier. Ah decided to settle for Freddies crack as my main story for me loyal readers as security told me Alan was busy and they’d call the Police if ah didn’t leave. Obviously the security Goon was a Mackem and didn’t like me but you can’t have it all your way and Shepherd could tell his flock who the next Toon boss would be courtesy of the Knight Ryder. Laters.

Who does he play for?

Ambition? Planning to grow as a club? The kind of things we don't do under the man who bought our club.