bobbyshinton

A Mackem runs into a bar and says " bar tender , bar tender give me a tooth pick," now the bar tender is a bit confused and asks, "why do u want a tooth pick?" and the Mackem just replys, " give me the damn tooth pick" so the bar tender gave him the tooth pick, then another Mackem comes in and also asks for a tooth pick and the bar tender gives it to him no questons asked, then another Mackem comes in and asks for a straw, the bar tender asks him, " hey , all the other beggars wanted tooth picks, how come u want a staw?" the Mackem replys, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . " well some body spewed outside and all the chunky bits are finished!"

Toni Iomi

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it,he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts." That's it! She blows her top! "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?" The husband sighed. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."Oh no - it's started!"

Jim does come good in the end.

Does the 21 still stop by your hoose indeed it does sir! anyway - what do you reckon to these new 'beige' buses weve now got ? Look smart with the green on. Another thing you don't see the Green Buses toeties horses

Does the 21 still stop by your hoose

Me Toes Tables n chairs in the Trent dainty toffee jars of sherbert triangular sweet packets park drive tabs ace lager tartan beer welders flashes front doors left open placa world cup balls (unless under the coast road flyover ) poodles When was the last time you saw your pecker shinty? That's crying out for the obvious come-back. Howay bob, say something funny!!!! I don't do funny

I think I will be there Trent is even shitter you could end up getting you ears boxed me lad

I think I will be there bloke walks into a bar........................................ says Smeeagain Bring a chair. Just in case expecting trouble like Depends if you bring your jokebook

I think I will be there bloke walks into a bar........................................ says Smeeagain Bring a chair. Just in case expecting trouble like Depends if you bring your jokebook

I think I will be there bloke walks into a bar........................................ says Smeeagain Bring a chair. Just in case expecting trouble like

I think I will be there bloke walks into a bar........................................ says Smeeagain

Read a lot of Kafka years ago. In the translations I have read the style is staid but I was under the impressions that was part of the whole existential writing/characters. All is bleak but there is fuck all I can do so I may as well surrender now. IMHO his work is best read while drunk and depressed. Just finished The adventures of Tom Sawyer and The adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Me Toes Tables n chairs in the Trent dainty toffee jars of sherbert triangular sweet packets park drive tabs ace lager tartan beer welders flashes front doors left open placa world cup balls (unless under the coast road flyover ) poodles

So di I so long ago I forgot I put it at the bottom of the page. Give it up for the Bobster, often copied never beaten

Please, I know it is meant to be flattering but............................. bobbyshinton Online Re: Joke time........... « Reply #4 on: January 30, 2006, 08:55:52 AM » Quote Modify Remove -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote from: Number 9 on January 29, 2006, 02:23:11 PM Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You sign!! You sign!!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder, "You sign!! You sign!!" Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man," and shuts the door in his face. The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose yelling, "You sign!! You sign!!" Mr. Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting "Look, go away!! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!!" Then he slams the door in his face again. The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign!! You sign!!". Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time, Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him, "Look, I don't want these!! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name!! Who do you want to give these to?" The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard,and says, (It's a beauty) (Get your best Chinese accent ready)

Can I have me seat and table back I've been waiting ages (in the Trent ) for the lightweight drinkers to come in.

Smeeagain, no, honest this one's funny, it's me last one

I think you'll find that some of the answers in the 'what are you currently listening to?' thread are literally, what they're listening to, like their neighbour's dog barking, etc. Anyway, this is exactly my point about trying to post anything positive on the boards. It's a fascinating box set, and it goes beyond just the music, or whatnot, and I thought maybe one or two others might be interested in it. I'll just go back to being obnoxious, ta. What sort of stuff is it anyway, I've never heard of that label. Religious

G man? Is he away on another Jolly to Holland?

Isn't that what the "Currently listening to" thread is for? I always assumed that was a thread for what I was currently listening to. Which wasn't the Goodbye, Babylon box. so what are you listening to, prove it is not goodbye Babylon

I'm looking at my posts from a different perspective of that of a racist. I look at it that I want to know about different cultures so I understand and do not offend

When Israel played England Why did none of their players have the long traditional sideboards? if this is offensive I apologise