bobbyshinton

Albert Luque? did he go or what please delete this thread if a re post

why are they called bank holidays, why not co op holidays or estate agents holidays

There’s this Mackem out for a walk along the bank of the Wear. He sees another Mackem on the opposite bank. “Hoo-ye!” he shouts, “How can I get to the other side?” The second Mackem looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. “You ARE on the other side.”

Just a quickie< I'm away again in a mo A Mackem pushes his Transit into a petrol station. He tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. He says, “What’s the story?” The mechanic replied, “Just crap in the carburetor”. The Mackem asks, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. “How often do I have to do that?”

yeah, it was an innocent interest in diverse cultures of the world. Had nothing to do with watching headcases act like neanderthals so how many on here sing we are the geordies the .............

could be Gemmils, was there any brain in there?

taken for granted but what a great little invention. Rob W remeber little bits of tea stuck to your falsers? any others?

That lass of yours has you on a fucking leash tbh. We once had a contract to supply labour to Raby Castle for the Elton John concert. They needed loads so after a while we were just sending anyone in (us being in Newcastle did not help) Anywaywe gats a phone call from the Manager along these lines "hello Berb" Hello Joe what can I do for you" "Did you interview Davey " "yes, is there a problem" " you did interview him then? Did you not notice anything about him" "maybe he was a little nervous, is that it, did not think it would matter too much as he is only putting seats out?" "how about he has only one fucking arm" "I knew that but we have a qouta to reach, could you not put him on the end of a row?" never got work from tham again

to be honest I think I posted it. Happens when you post so much drivel anyway sorry and off I go

I met an older woman at Grey's club last night. She was OK for 57, we drank a bit, had a bit of a song & she asked if I'd ever had the sportsman's double, a mother and daughter 3 some? I said, "No." We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night and we went back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Mum you still awake?"

I will be leaving the office and going on holiday to the Greek Isles. Well i really fly tomorrow have fun

A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin." The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age." The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods." "Tiger Woods, the golfer?" "Yeah." "Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him." The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it a second time." The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks. The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it again." The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial. The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?" "No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this fucking hole."

For fuck sake what is this about. let this one go and you open the door for more i think this has crossed the line. I do not think smooth should suffer a ban or owt, just lock it.

The first time I'm ever going to use this phrase, PWNED! My list Rob W Thompers Sgrey etc etc The unwanted ones, the Raggie dolls on Toontastic

Was asking your age not your weight in stone's tbh Fish did his "growing up" some time ago. how incredibly predictably dull you're fatter than me And predictable as ever, the Fish bites. I wonder if that's what he had in mind when he chose his username. 49

Bastards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWx5RK1G9c0

It's good to see others make the effort good old harmless fun I salute you

In terms of winning things big Sam is a also ran. Both Houlier and Ericson streets ahead

done time in jail Could you take time in Jail? Me couple of nights in cells no sentence I reckon I could take a spell inside, if I was in it would be for something I wanted to do. Having said that I think 5 year would be me max

0 0 2 2 3 0...........sus 4 0 0 2 2 0 0...........sus 2 Thats the boys. Been told to get the hang of them

Do you use it much

There are too many nasty bugs going around Knock on me door, I opens it a fucking 6' caterpiller sticks the heeed on me . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . It's a nasty bug going around that's for you cat

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor. "Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin". "Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went". It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!" "Really? What happened?" asked the doctor. "Well, I did as you advised and slipped it into his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!" "Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"? "Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But as sure as I'm sittin' here, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"