snakehips

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.' On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.' She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.' To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, . . . . . . . . . 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch.'

But does it work using 'official' videos? I can record taped stuff onto disc, but the 'official' videos wont transfer due to their blocking code (or whatever it's called).

Mr Benn was good. As were Hong Kong Phuey and Dangermouse.

Is this just a cover story to let us know 'the bull' will be playing on Sunday and Zog will be on the bench ??

She wants a treat, you say? Okay, what's your address? Too easy! Too predictable!

yum yum

Good stuff, as I haven't met you yet. And don't fear, the first vimto is on me!

I must admit that reading all that shite back just before logging out, I was cringing from sounding a right fucking nerb !!111 Oh well, it was all meant without any attempt at boolsheet.

Well, with us three and Cath with her boobs, there aint gonna be a lot of room left

It's not all Scotsmen who see the kilt as an identity. I was talking about Scots colleague just recently and he said he wouldn't be seen dead in one. The modern day kilt image is just a marketing thing that took hold. Tartan is a Victorian invention isn't it? I think you could be right Alex. And I believe that Scotsmen wore their equivalent of underwear under the kilt - probably some rough woolen garb of some description.

A classic example of marketing and trendy-ism bullshit. As if Scotsmen wouldn't wear anything under their kilt! Can you imagine a true Highlander (I would say tchuchter, but I can't spell it!! ) not wearing owt under his kilt ???

It's not all Scotsmen who see the kilt as an identity. I was talking about Scots colleague just recently and he said he wouldn't be seen dead in one. The modern day kilt image is just a marketing thing that took hold.

Drink loads of strong tea all day and piss it out (the jorms with the tea). Go to bed with the window open (make sure you are well wrapped up in bed). Guaranteed.

Nar, too easy! Too predictable.

True story. A scouse colleague of mine was at home in a bakery with his missus. After leaving the shop, my colleague says to his wife: 'Did you just ask for (read this in a scouse accent, as it works better!) French dick ?' His wife says, 'yes, that's what it's called.' My colleague then tells his wife that it's actually called French stick, and she tells him she has been asking for French Dick for as long as she could remember!!!! Women, what would we do without them??

The original T00nRaider had a bad back if you recall (It was canny serious, if I'm not mistaken). I guess the new edition Toonraider probably has a bad back as well, what with lugging those fun bags around all day!

the Secret Service AND prince Phillip - get yer facts right man............. Phil the Greek was seen speeding off driving a white uno. This whole business is a fucking shambolic waste of money. A few months ago the judge said to al Fayed: 'If you have any evidence, please tell us'. Not a fucking word was forthcoming. So the 'establishment' decide to whack Diana, did they, Fayed ???? I'm sure that right at the top of the list of how to whack someone is: FAKE A CAR CRASH IN A PARIS UNDERPASS (making sure the target doesn't wear a seatbelt). And when the conclusion is (rightly) reached by the jury that it was accidental death, the simpleton mongs who mingle in our society will STILL be saying it was murder!! Give me strength!!!!!

You can't have your sinuses removed. Adenoids? Isn't it fucking obvious that I meant adenoids?? As a fucking doctor, you should have known exactly what I meant. Tsk!

Seconded. Surely that bit was for our benefit, not NUFC's

Brother-in-law went to have his removed at The Nuffield. They couldn't stop the bleeding afterwards so he was packed off to the good old NHS. The more I think about it, the more I think it was his sinusus (sp) that were removed. Oh well, somewhere behind his sneck anyway !

I think Rooney is 100% class. He is limited, I reckon, in how he is allowed to play in the Man U set up. However, I have no doubt that defenders are absolutely shit scared of him which means, in my book, the boy is the real deal. How old is he 21?? 22?? and he IS top drawer. Says it all imo.

Big boy. Cool luva. Sex machine. Hot rod. Silver tongue. Ooops, wrong forum!!

Went to see Michael Clayton this afternoon. Excellent. 9/10 on the hips scale. Had a bit of an Andy Melville (sp) moment but I shall save it for the piss up.

I hate the fuckers. And it has to be refreshing for 'this place' that we are allowed alternate views from the clique's EDIT: is alternate views okay, or should it be alternative ????

I'd like to post a pic of a hessian bag with some bricks in but I know some folk would get offended. So I shant. No doubt I will be in the dog house for posting this !!!!