Alex

What's the average size of lasses in the UK like? Without googling I'm guessing it's size 16 or above.

A budgie is a parrot Anyway, don't get one, CT. They should be flying about in the wild not stuck in a poxy cage.

The occasional cigar is a different ball game but how people afford to smoke tabs is beyond me. Still, as smoking goes down obesity and teenage drinking etc. are on the increase. The UK seems to have a collective addictive personality.

Posh charv

Not with an accent like yours I haven't.

Renton, if you're in the vicinity, and feeling even snobbier than normal, I suggest you check out Carruthers and Kent just off Gosforth High Street.

She's hardly fucking Bella Emberg. She'd look skinny if she walked down the average high street. 'Big' by the standards of most film / TV stars though I suppose.

I was only messing with you, CT. I do struggle to get my head round the lack of age gap between us though. It's like you're from a different generation / dimension at times

Does any fucker know what these two are on about btw?

I can picture CT stepping out in the Toon circa 1988, in his dress pants, shirt and slip on shoes and saying (Peter Kay garlic bread-style) Acid? House?

It was fucking dire man, Jill. All that ansgt. You're good looking teenagers, you've got it made for fuck's sake. Wait until you get a job. Seriously though, they NEVER had a laugh, not once. It was all navel gazing, woe is me shit. I'd have given my left ball to shag Katie Holmes or Michelle Williams when I was in 6th form.

I think we're talking wet fart territory.

Sounds like Dawson's Creek.

Madison Avenue advertising agencies aren't exactly your typical 'normal blokes' like.

Did you not study any of this shit at school, CT? I know it seems like you're about 40 years older than me but in reality the gap's less than 10 years isn't it? I found this fascinating when we did it in GCSE History.

Classic.

Probably the best episode of the whole lot that one. It's fucking mint. I'm going to start watching them again from the beginning once I get through the first two series of Spiral.

Wor lass used to watch a bit of that thing set in the Deep South with Vinnie off Home and Away on. True Blood? That was alright I thought. Twilight is for teenage (and younger) lasses though, Shirley.

of big babies you are What a bunch

I was quoting Chris from the Sopranos

That was real? I saw that movie, I thought it was bullshit.

Nandos is the new Phil Collins where footballers are concerned.

I've ordered Killer on the Road by Ginger Strand (not to be confused with the James Ellroy novel) which sounds intresting, but I haven't read it yet I'm afraid. That John Wayne Gacy was a funny fucker though, wasn't he?

My polling station is about 30 seconds walk from my house and I doubt I'll bother so, aye, you're probably spot on there, CT.