ClubSpinDoctor

I'm just going to embrace the current season and back us to lose 3-0 and 4-0 every game. I expect to be up off level stakes come May.

We are gash.

Grey tops aren't good for hiding sweat patches

Who's this Cabayer that's playing for us?

Does anybody pronounce Tenerife as Tenereefay?

Our back line

Schalke "Cup" - expect a weakened side.

Crossfit wankers. Seriously my pal who is usually alright has started boring the fucking tits off me about it every time I see him. I was round his house a couple of weeks ago and he whips his ipad out, goes on Youtube and puts a half hour long video of professional crossfitters on competing. Usually when he waffles on about it I feign interest to be polite but I had to tell him I didn't want to watch it. I hate the whole community aspect of it as well, all kissing each others arses. I don't know if this is all crossfit gyms or just the one near me but apparently they have a bell that you run up and ring when you get a personal best and everyone stops and applauds

Half 2 i think, West Ham are on straight after

So I was doing pull-ups yesterday in the gym, never had any problem with them in terms of injuring myself, some ironically flabby bird with a 'fitness instructor' top on pulls me up on my technique, and shows me how I should be doing it because it puts less pressure on the rotator cuffs, so I switch to how she showed me. Today I feel like my shoulder is dislocated. I'm convinced that there was fuck all wrong with what I was doing and she just wanted to feel superior.

Looks like he was the Remy alternative

Not really grumpy, I've already said it's better than signing nobody. Not really one to jump with joy about is it. My point about us not being prepared to pay the premium that proven goalscorers cost remains valid btw. We really need a CB now then we can be hopeful of an alright season, and if we're being greedy we could do with a more cultured player for the centre of the park. Maybe De Jong will be playing deeper now we've got more strikers in?

I agree, that's why I never said that

Well getting a completely unproven one in on loan is as close to not getting one as you can get really. I wanted a proven goalscorer, but I suppose from the 3 unknown quantities we've brought in there's a chance one could come good.

Oh yeah, forgot how closely we co-operate with the media. Pardew saying we're 1 striker light and us signing a striker meaning we have 4 strikers should be enough evidence

Like pardews one more striker quotes?

We've got 4 now, there isn't a proven one coming in. I'm just saying. I didn't even expect us to sign one at all so it's better than nowt

This is our one more striker if we get him, I feel

Fuck You Prick

Yours is huge isn't it, deaders?

Where's the Remy thing from? If we sign him I'll turn my frown upside down

"Per person" is on a one main course per head basis fyi

If you're worried about this lass doctor seeing your package tomorrow Stevie just give it a little rub before you go in. I don't think "it's because I'm not an ugly cunt" is going to wash with her