catmag

Thanks pet but I seriously need to sleep now. Like right this minute. The bairn was up at 6.30am yesterday and I'm now hallucinating about a marshmallow-style bed with fluffy pillows..

I love the fact it even works on my mobile I'm also now at work so all you turkey-filled, booze-sodden gits can all piss off!

Wishing you all a lovely Christmas x

photo upload

Don't need to see Star Wars now. The bairn went with his dad last night and came home absolutely bursting and told me everything...

Nutty turd truffles... (saves you the trouble )

Loads here... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/recipes/11274184/Hate-Brussels-sprouts-Try-these-lovely-Christmas-recipes.html

Oh I'm sure I know what you're into, just not who

Come on Pav

I was going to try and find an appropriate pic for you to drool over but I've not got the first clue who 15-yr-old lads are into these days. So have this instead... Happy birthday

Here's a clue - it's not real. However, I've never worked in the States. Pay enough money and you may well be able to, although it's unethical.

Only if it's a caesarian section and the lady is having spinal anaesthetic (staying awake) They're not allowed in if we're doing general anaesthetic. And not at all for all other kinds of surgery. The furthest they may get is to the anaesthetic room under certain circumstances.

I intend to do that every year and still haven't got round to it! The bairn is at bloody school til Tuesday night so it doesn't leave us a lot of time to do nice things before Christmas. However, we are going to The Snowman at the Sage on Wednesday then going for breakfast on Christmas Eve with a mutual friend of ours

Yes, because that's exactly how I sound

Except there's no football reference. 1/10 - try harder.

Excellent. You may pass go, collect £200 and head straight for the Superiority Complex

I reckon at least 3 of them are blokes in drag.

You didn't make that clear, spazzwad It suggested you'd line then up at gunpoint.

Let's take this slowly, so you can understand your mistake. So you'd shoot (fnar) 5 first, 4 second etc etc...

Which means you love her the most and want to kiss her/him.

That suggests you'd have number 1 at gunpoint last of all.

Wowsers.

Knob

Shall I make this?