Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Same here, especially if they're male. Women shouldn't be on the roads anyway. Non-drivers have basically got to 17 and stopped evolving. An embarrassment to humankind in my book.

I meant he's round shouldered, sicko

I feel sorry for him. He's painfully shy, I wish he'd stand up straight.

The poor fucker still has a paper round.

I've caught bits of that a few times. Canny funny from what I've seen, I expect it will come to BBC2 eventually.

Amsterdam you say? Having sex with the 'coaches'? And you pay to go on this course? It's not, by any chance, a brothel is it?

I don't trust people who get into their mid-twenties without being able to drive. Not sure if they're sinister, dumb or just lazy.

Moog Cookbook

Good on you Nicky Butt.

As I said to Scottish Mag the other day, I'm sure Jim White must have an implant in his scrotum that vibrates automatically whenever the words "Newcastle United" are mentioned. It'll be wired to the mains tomorrow lunchtime

Yes. I think his backroom collection of coaches, medics and boffins will squeeze a little bit extra out of ordinary players. This has to be a positive seen as though we've all been moaning about the coaching, fitness and scouting of the club being in the dark ages.

I can see Jim White's gurning face already, asking his cringeworthy, cliché-ridden questions *shudders*

Arcade Fire - Intervention

Joy Division - Love will tear us apart

SSH, if you had a Ferrari would you run it on premium unleaded or chip fat?

So you'd rather have the jobs-for-the-boys set up than a modern professional coaching structure? We'll just have to agree to differ.

Like many forward thinking managers, he has followed the lead of american professional sports coaching. Lets have a look at the coaching staff of a middle ranking NFL team: Scott Linehan Head Coach Rick Venturi Assistant Head Coach/Linebackers Jim Haslett Defensive Coordinator Greg Olson Offensive Coordinator Brian Baker Defensive Line Paul Boudreau Offensive Line Jim Chaney Assistant Offensive Line Mike Cox Defensive Quality Control/Assistant Defensive Line Todd Downing Assistant Special Teams/Defensive Assistant Henry Ellard Wide Receivers Judd Garrett Tight Ends Jeff Horton Special Assistant/Offense Dana LeDuc Strength and Conditioning Ron Milus Assistant Secondary Wayne Moses Running Backs Keith Murphy Offensive Quality Control Doug Nussmeier Quarterbacks Al Roberts Special Teams Willy Robinson Secondary Brad Roll Assistant Strength and Conditioning And a typical baseball outfit: 22 Eric Wedge Manager 28 Jeff Datz Bench Coach 6 Luis Rivera First Base/Infield Coach 35 Joel Skinner Third Base Coach 9 Derek Shelton Hitting Coach 4 Luis Isaac Bullpen Coach 51 Carl Willis Pitching Coach 43 Dan Williams Bullpen Catcher 60 Dennis Malave Bullpen Catcher Paul Spicuzza Senior Consultant, Athletic Trainer Lonnie Soloff Head Athletic Trainer/Director of Medical Services Rick Jameyson Assistant Athletic Trainer Nick Kenney Assistant Athletic Trainer Tony Amato Home Clubhouse/Equipment Manager Jeff Sipos Manager of Equipment Acquisitions Willie Jenks Visiting Clubhouse Manager Marty Bokovitz Assistant Home Clubhouse/Equipment Manager Bob Chester Manager, Video Operations Frank Velotta Video Operations Lino Diaz Coordinator of Cultural Development Dr. Charles Maher Director, Employee Assistance Program Mark Schickendantz, M.D. Director, Orthopaedic Services, Head Team Physician Ronald Golovan, M.D. Assistant Director, Medical Services and Employee Assistance Program Louis Keppler, M.D. Team Physician K.V. Gopal, M.D. Team Physician Zenos Vangelos, D.O. Team Physician Jim Mehalik Director of Rehabilitation Tim Maxey Strength & Conditioning Coach Brendon Huttman Minor League Strength and Conditioning Coordinator And that's not including Physios and masseurs which Premiership clubs have plenty of. I know one of the Boro physios and there are at least four of them plus a collection of masseurs. It's about putting the best in to make sure you get the best out.

Masseurs, Position coaches, Strength & Conditioning coaches, Quality Control coaches. You're basically showing your ignorance on the subject.

Agree. You think he'd learn how to say it seen as though that's what he'll be remembered for.

West Yorkshire folk also say "while" instead of "'til" As in: "I'm working nine while five"

Nosh.

Doyle.

Watch your wallets lads.

The trouble with Fatuka is he only tries his best in a contract year. You give him a cushy multi-year deal and he'll go back to being lazy, unfit and disruptive. Guaranteed.