Dr Kenneth Noisewater

One of the best from any series I thought. "I'm a dirty dog!" Agreed, pure quality.

The Score is on channel 4 at the moment. Excellent heist movie, one of my favourites.

Pasty storming and whoring it up more his thing.

He's not really a royal, but if he did get killed I expect James Hewitt would be gutted.

No, that's for the air force isn't it? Battalion?

This is the problem. If he wants to go out there: fine, good on him. But it draws more danger and attention to those around him. I'm sure I'd have mixed feelings about it if I was in his 'group' (can't think of the right military word, is it corp?)

I put everything on direct debit, it's easier. All mine go out at the beginning of the month except my mortgage, which goes out on the 28th. Bit of a pisser that, but my fixed rate term is coming to an end in the next two or three months, so I'll change that when I set up a new deal. It is a bit scary when you add up all your direct debits and see what a massive chunk of your wages is gone before you even start mind.

Think I've got Trainspotting as well.

Thinking off the top of my head 24 Hour Party People is the only one I've got.

Needed a shit tbh. Glenn Roeder has always stood up, and Glenn Roeder doesn't rush down the tunnel for anything but the turtle's head. "Glenn, a few words for the BBC...?" "Sorry Garth, I'm touching cloth."

I thought Chelsea and ManU both looked very weary in this weeks CL games, but it's no surprise that the porridge gobbling whisky fanatic is looking to lay the blame elsewhere.

Why? I don't get the talk of him doing an excellent job in the Academy. Regardless, we've already got someone doing his old job. Agreed. Hardly fair on the bloke who's at the academy at the moment. Why should he lose his job just because Roeder couldn't do it at a higher level? And it's not like we had a constant stream of potential flowing out of the youth set-up during Roeder's time in charge. Plus I don't think Allardyce would be overly keen on having the ex-manager still sniffing around the place.

There is a ringing endorsement for you. I wouldn't mind a Campbell - Curtis Davies centre half partnership.

That's why I never go in for secret Santa at work. That is naff. Agreed, its pure shit. Was it Keith from The Office "tenner in an envelope"

Only a season too late eh, Glenn? Perhaps he'll decide he wants Woodgate as well now he's signed for Boro.

I use the paint on stuff that Gemmill describes, only got it in black though. I recently got some brown shoes and at christmas my secret santa pressie from work was a shoe polishing kit. Might give that a try on the new ones eventually.

I had a clean poo this morning. They're the best.

I always thought I didn't need one and then used it all the time once I got one.

My dad once gave the cat a piece of liver with loads of mustard on it. The cat loved liver but the mustard made it foam at the mouth. He thought it was hilarious. Wasn't laughing so much a week later when mum made him a 'wiskas' pie mind. She didn't tell him til he'd finished it.

First one I saw was similar to the second pic Pud has posted, about the size of a laptop. My dad had one of these beauties: http://www.mobilewhack.com/reviews/Micro-T.jpg First one I had was a Nokia 3210, a legend amongst mobiles, I've still got it as my back-up option if/when something goes wrong with my current phone.

On the sick.

Depends where you work. If is a big operation with lots of staff to cover your absence I wouldn't feel too bad about it. If it's a small independently run place where your colleagues will be rushed, stressed and harassed in covering for you, you should be ashamed.

Blumenthal's gastropub is called The Hinds Head. I'm staying there next May as I am at a wedding down that neck of the woods.. Lucky girl.

Said on the radio he doesn't look a happy-chappy, looks like football is a chore to him at the moment. Something's not right.

Blumenthal's gastropub is called The Hinds Head.