Ayatollah Hermione

Bet Schar has enough spunk to shampoo a horse

Wolves’ manager is a total drip though. Got shouted off the pitch by Buzz Litebeer yesterday ffs

All I could think when I was watching Lingard was that he got paid 200 grand for that. Unreal

I noticed that. Daft cunt thinks he’s in the stage production of A Streetcar Named Desire

Godfrey killing himself trying to recover a ball that VAR would have ruled as out season off to a flyer

Lovely stuff being there to watch that. Forest are woeful, mind. You could hear the penny drop with the Forest fans somewhere between the time Schar belted his goal and when Joelinton was absolutely refusing to let any of them over the half way line, that the Premier League is a different beast altogether. Great stuff from front to back today. Colback against our midfield btw literally all he can do is foul. Forest have signed 14 players and he’s still starting. They should be embarrassed

Aye, as Alex says, this will be rock bottom. Like I said last time, the fact that you’re aware enough to know you need help is a lot more than a lot of people. Hang in there, keep talking, keep checking in, you’ll get through it

I’m pretty sure Sterling and Havertz can run rings around Mason Holgate and Richard Gough or whoever is at the back for them these days, with 3 hours sleep no bother. I fully expect what’s left of Lampard’s hair to be gone by November

TBF, you get like this when you know you’re off for a pub burger and chips

Aye, a goal in each half. Howe to prove to everyone just why he went and strengthened the defence first with Botman and Trippier imperious

PooBarb

That’ll do. Nicely timed ahead of tomorrow too.

House Special Curry with Fried Rice

Fish running to the PC when an opposition fan joins the board

I’d be wary of offering Dubravka considering if Pope drops, you’re left with Darlow who is pretty shite. If we think there’s a deal to be done, Leicester must be hinting at a positive resolution to it all, just need to work toward a compromise. You’ll be able to talk them down once the window ticks down and Maddison starts getting antsy

Still think Wood will chip in with a few this season, like. They’ll be scrappy and shite and/or penalties in the League Cup but I don’t think he needs to be written off just yet. He is a bit of a donkey like but Howe will know exactly what to do with him at the very least

Gemmill’s pubes look like he’s on Mick Hucknall’s shoulders

Everton being that high is baffling to me, like. Who do they have of any real quality?

I’m also in and it appears I have the best name (as always)

Caulkin’s writing has went to shit since he went to The Athletic. He farts out about one a month and it’s a bit like Tony Parsehole in Viz at this point.

What year is it?

They’ll sell before we get anywhere near £60 million IMO. That’ll be their dream price but they’ll compromise for less, especially if there’s add-ons in the post

“on the UEFA coaching course, there’ll be a chapter called “Weigman and her use of subs” fucking behave

Celebrating like they’ve won a years supply of Yankee Candles ffs